Hey Goodnight Seadra, this is the first of your work I've actually read.
I have to say that I like your writing style. I really enjoyed the way you formed sentances and the way that your words flowed. I know it sounds dumb, but there are some stories I read and I hate the writing style, but this one captured my attention
The characters were developed nicely. Haha I just noticed that the old ladies are called Kath and Kim - any reference to the TV show?
I found the ending went on for a bit too long. I think it would have been more powerful if you had ended the story right after Cynthia is destroyed, or closer to it. When she was destroyed, it was so emotional and powerful. I think it lost a bit of that power the longer it went on
But overall I really enjoyed it! Nice stuff. I'll have to check out your other stuff when I get time.