Brian Powell’s Christmas Carol (Chaptered comedy fic)

[Cool-headed Blaziken]

Finally, I have written a chaptered comedy fic. Main reason? It’s nearly the Christmas season and for me it’s time show a lot a cheer and laughter all around. This fic is rated PG13 because of the swearing coming in the upcoming chapters.

Notes:
(RANDOM WORD!) = Censored for swearing
“(Talking a bunch of stuff),” = Pokemon talking in their own language
Stuff in italic = Singing

Brian Powell’s Christmas Carol (Chaptered comedy fic)

Chapter 1: Bah! Bumhug!

Christmas is a time for cheer and goodwill… but for a very few, it’s just an excuse to get off a couple of week’s work and Brian Powell, one of the most hated people in the talent industry, was one of them.

He was sitting in his office wearing a tight black t-shirt, a pair of jeans that reached up to his stomach, and shoes, all black. He was sitting at his desk, signing a bunch of contracts. He predicted that this would cause a lot of boredom and a hurt hand. Having enough, he placed a pen in front of him on the contract. He bent down to reach an item, picked up a small bell and shook it lightly, making some ringing noises.

A huge green dinosaur-like creature called a Tyranitar stormed into the office. “(Yes, Brian)?” he growled like a soldier standing in a row.

“Tony, give my hand a massage,” Brian said, feeling rather stressed as he held up his hurt hand.

Tony the Tyranitar nodded as he walked over to Brian, reaching for his hand to massage it. While he massaged him, he noticed the bell placed on Brian’s table. “(Is that a Christmas bell)?” he growled.

Brian showed a small frown. He picked the bell with his unmassaged hand and dropped it into a bin next to him. “Why is it always this time of year?” he muttered. “That reminds me, Cratchet… I mean, Tony, you’re working through Christmas.”

“(Brian. It’s the holidays; you’re going to have to take a break sometime).”

“Oh, Christmas this and Hanukah that! People are always making excuses to get out of work.”

“(Well, that’s true but the holidays are a perfect excuse to be with your family and friends).”

“Please, bumhug... I mean, humbug! The main for the holidays so that the clever people would take advantage of the stupid ones so that they can drink their eggnog and Christmas pudding.”

“(You don’t think much of your parents, do you)?”

Brian became even more stressed. “Please, don’t get me started on my parents…”

“Still, you got to let me have a break. I got invited to that costume party tonight.”

Brian took a short time to think about this. “Alright, but I’m cutting your wages.”

“(You don’t even pay me anymore).”

“Well then… you owe me.”

His assistant Tony showed a small frown. “(Where’s Bill tonight)?” he growled. Bill was an old man, who called himself a friend of Brian’s, which Brian would respond to that by simply saying, ‘I don’t know this man.’


To answer Tony’s question, Bill was staying at an old folks’ home for the holidays. He was wearing a white buttoned shirt, grey pair trousers and glasses. He was sitting in his room that had a soft bed, a TV and other types of furniture. He was sitting on his bed playing a game of chess with a vase that had a picture of Brian on it. He had been waiting for over an hour for ‘Brian’ to make his first move.

“Come on, Brian!” Bill complained impatiently. “It’s been five minutes! Move your king already!”

Suddenly, he heard some beeping noise outside his room. Angry and curious of what was going on he quickly got off his bed and rushed to the door. He poked his head out upon opening the door and saw a man wearing a red sparkling jacket over his black t-shirt and red sparkling trousers, riding on a slow moving scooter while honking on his horn. “Check ma bad self and ma scootay!” the man yelled in a falsetto voice. “Ee-he! Bubbly! Check me!”

Bill angrily looked back at the vase. “Jack Michaels going up and down on a scooter!” he complained.

The vase never responded.

“I know, Brian! You don’t see that everyday! I’ll tell you what, that man’s a music genius but I won’t have him spoiling our Christmas fun! Now don’t you move anything until I get back!” With that said, Bill rushed out of the room to complain.


“Ah, the beauty of my maliciousness,” Brian said, letting out a small sigh of bliss.


Sometime after his working hours were over, he walked out of his building wearing a long coat over the rest of clothes with a scarf around his neck, all black. It was a snowy day and the ground was heavily covered with it. As he walked home, he saw three figures wearing some rugged clothing and were shivering in the cold, yet he couldn’t care less. One of them was a woman with long dark red hair, the other was a man with short light purple hair and the third was no taller than two feet.

They looked up and saw Brian’s face and happiness came onto their faces. “Brian!” the woman yelled happily, catching his attention.

He turned towards them with a glare, showing his disgust. Despite that he didn’t want to give any attention. “Brian! Don’t you recognise me? I’m Jessie from Team Rocket,” the woman cried.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know you,” Brian said coldly.

“I’m James!” the purple haired man cried as he had tears streaming down his eyes. He ran towards him before getting onto his knees. “Please, Brian! Penny for the poor! Penny for the poor!”

“Go get a job,” Brian said.

“Aw, c’mon, Brian!” Meowth cried, stepping in front of him. “It’s Christmas!”

“If I give you a penny, will you stop bothering me?” Brian asked, still being cold.

“Wobbuffet!” a blue blob croaked loudly, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

Taking the answer as a yes, Brian Powell flicked the coin over to the middle of the road. As the coin landed on the ground all four members of Team Rocket ran over to it and started fighting over who should get the coin while Brian watched, still showing an expressionless face.

Suddenly, a huge crate fell and crashed on top of them. Meowth managed to slip his paw out from under crate, showing a sign that people could read out, ‘Dat’s gonna leave a mark.’

“Dumbos,” Brian said, showing a little smirk while walking away. “Bah, bumhug… I mean, humbug.”


After some time walking, he came across a coffee house. Having a desire to quench his thirst, he decided to enter not knowing that there were three more people in rugged clothing up ahead planning to mug him.

Five minutes later, Brian came out carrying a cup of coffee. Having a feeling that someone may be watching, he looked around hoping that he doesn’t have a stalker. With no one to be seen, he shrugged his worries off and continued his journey home. A scream and running footsteps was coming towards him but he didn’t hear it as he suddenly stopped near a trashcan and taking a sip of his hot beverage. At the same time, one of the muggers dived towards him but missed his target and fell headfirst into the can.

“Blurgh, coffee that taste like mud,” Brian said in disgust. “Courtesy of another member of the Brian Powell haters club.”

Without looking, he poured the rest of the coffee into the trash can with the mugger in it. The mugger screamed in pain as he felt the hotness before Brian chucked the cup away.

Brian proceeded to walk but soon came across a trashcan lid and decided to take it home since the lid of his trashcan at home was missing, thanks to a couple of trash eating cats. He continued to walk while checking the lid, inadvertently hitting another mugger in face who was about to attack him from one the sideways. Brian took no notice as the mugger was knocked down and out.

A few minutes later, he stopped as he saw a couple of pennies on the floor. He quickly picked them up as he took a step forward while the third mugger fell and harshly landed face first into the snow. “Luck seems to coming to me these days,” Brian said dusting the snow off the coins before walking away and leaving the poor mugger, which he took no notice of behind.


Soon, he came to his mansion. Normally, his assistant Tony would open the door for him but this time, Tony and the others were at their respective parties to celebrate the holiday season.

As soon as he entered his mansion and closed the door, he heard some knocking on it. With everyone else gone to their parties, Brian had no choice but to open it himself. “Odd,” he said to himself as he did. “Who would follow me here?” Upon opening the door, he was met by a group of young kids singing Christmas carols.

Silent night
Holy night
All is calm…

Having enough of their out-of-tune singing, Brian held his hand up, signalling them to stop. “Village halls, yes. Singing career, never,” he said, commenting on their singing.

The children had confused looks on their faces. “Do you know ‘little Bethlehem’?” he asked.

The children nodded in response.

“Then I suggest you go there!”

The child in front shook a little red box in front of him, making some coins rattle inside. It was a charity box but regardless what it was, Brian snatched it away from them. “Thank you,” he said before slamming the door in front of them.


A couple of hours later, Brian was sitting in the living room of the mansion. It was a large room where it had a wooden floor, a black leather couch in the middle of the room, a plant on each corner and entertainment system consisting of a TV, a VCR, a DVD player and others.

He was eating some takeaways he ordered from various restaurants. He got them free after tricking the delivery boys into coming in late by making them wait by the door for a long time. He was watching various TV shows; each had TV shows involving Christmas specials, much to his dismay. He got off his couch to look for DVDs he could watch that were stacked on the DVD player next to the TV. As he looked through them, he heard a strange spooky noise.

“Chu-U-u-U-u-U-u-U-u-u-u…”

Brian was surprised at the sudden noise at first but decided to ignore it as he continued searching for the DVD.


After the DVD film finished, Brian decided to call it a night and have a good night’s sleep as he headed up to his room. After his evening rituals such as closing all the windows and brushing his teeth, he decided that he would not be sleeping through the night but all through Christmas. Like most bedrooms, he had a comfy bed, a wardrobe, a desk and other types of furniture. While he placed his pyjamas on, the spooky voice was heard again.

“Chu-U-u-U-u-U-u-U-u-u-u…” a spooky voice squeaked catching Brian’s attention.

He turned around to see a cute little white mouse, with chains wrapped around his paws and waist. “(Ohhh, Brian),” the little Pichu cooed in ghostly fashion while Brian looked on uninterested. “(Tonight at midnight, you will be visited by the ghosts of the past, present and future for all your wrongdoings).

“Jerry, Halloween’s over,” Brian said with a dull look on his face. “Who are you trying to be?”

Jerry became rather dejected. “Aw, c’mon, Brian! No need to get all scroogy! I’m trying to act like a ghost!”

“Oh, I thought you’re trying to be like some moron, wasting everyone’s time.”

“I got a costume party to go to, you coming?”

“Are they going to have eggnog over there?”

“Yep.”

“It’s a Christmas party; I don’t do Christmas. Now be a good little ghost and disappear.”

Jerry stuck his tongue at him before walking away while Brian got himself ready to sleep.


A couple of hours after Brian went to sleep, a bright light slowly appeared and shined inside his dark room stirring him in his sleep. He quickly turned the lamp on and rubbed his eyes to see what was going on. The first thing he saw was a strange energy ball glowing vigorously. The ball quickly disappeared, revealing some kind of green mystical, yet cute, fairy.

“Celebi?” Brian said, with a surprised look on his face as the creature showed her smile, as did he. “I hope you’re the one from that Pokemon 4Ever movie. I’ll look for my camera. I want to make the boys so jealous.”

“(Actually, Brian),” the Celebi cooed happily as Brian was about to get off his bed. “I’m the Celebi of the Christmas past. I’m here to show you the error of your ways.”

An angst look quickly appeared on the face of the most hated man in the talent industry. “Oh… great,” Brian moaned as he lowered his head, feeling slightly irritated. He remembered a story equivalent to this. “Thank you, Charles Dickens...”
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More coming! Reviews please!

[Cool-headed Blaziken]

Chapter 2: The Annoying and Persistent Celebi of the Christmas Past

“Blast…” Brian grumbled in a non-interested fashion after what the Celebi had announced. He was sitting on his bed with his arms folded. “Why me of all people?”

“(Well, I could tell you what happened in your Christmas past using a list and such),” the Celebi cooed cutely. “(But then you’d say, ‘That’s not true!’ because I don’t have any pictures. Instead, we’re going time travelling).”

“Oh, bug,” Brian moaned as he looked at his alarm clock that was placed next to his lamp. It was two o’clock in the morning. “If you must, wait for me downstairs. I need to change my clothes. I’ll be five minutes.”

The Celebi nodded in acknowledgement. Using her psychic abilities she flew towards the door and exited the room.


An hour later, a familiar bright light flashed inside Brian’s room. It quickly disappeared revealing the same Celebi, now with an angry look on her face. To add more of her anger, she found Brian sleeping on his bed, with his face resting on the pillow. “(Lazy son of a)…” she snarled before poking him on the side of his body, stirring him in his sleep.

“Wha…?” Brian grumbled sleepily.

“(You said you’d be five minutes)!” Celebi squealed angrily. “(It’s been an hour)!”

“I take it that you can’t accept the hint. A man’s got to have his sleep,” Brian grumbled as he got himself into a seated position.

Still angry, Celebi glowed a bright light and then disappeared, much to Brian’s delight… until she reappeared again this time holding a frying pan. Brian’s eyes widened with shock as she slammed the weapon onto his head, making him yell in pain after taking the hit. “I’m not going to win this, am I?” he asked as rubbed his throbbing head.

Celebi smiled cheekily, shaking her head signalling a no.


Deep inside a forest, a flash of light appeared, quickly revealing to be Brian, now dressed in his usual attire, and Celebi. They both sat on a tree branch and looked around, wondering where they were. “(Huh? This isn’t the place I was thinking of),” Celebi cooed.

“You’re a time traveller and you don’t know what you’re doing or where you’re going?” Brian asked feeling a little miffed.

“(It’s… my first day),” Celebi replied sheepishly before disappearing.

“Oh… flip,” Brian said feeling frustrated. She quickly reappeared, this time carrying a pair of binoculars. She looked into the small lenses. “What do you see?” he asked.

“(Some people wearing very short skirts),” Celebi answered unsurely.

“Hmm… 1960s. The hippie ages,” Brian said in a thinking manner. “I didn’t exist in that year but I wouldn’t mind sticking around.”

“(Not girls, Brian! Men)!”

“Spandaux Ballet, 1983,” Brian said. “Close, but I didn’t exist.”

“(Nope).”

“Gimme that!” Brian said annoyingly, snatching the item the green fairy was holding. He looked inside the small lenses. What he saw surprised him, there were a number of men dressed in armour and helmets. They were armed with shields, spears and swords while standing behind a small wall. And, of course, they were also wearing skirts. “Romans!” he said in a surprised fashion. “You took us centuries away from my past!”

“(Something I spotted here, Brian),” Celebi cooed. “(I think I spotted a guy that looks just like you).”

“Let’s see,” Brian said as he looked back into the small lenses again, this time to search for the possible look-alike. “What was he wearing?”

“(All black, armour and everything),” Celebi replied.

It didn’t take long for Brian to spot the person in black clothing. It matched everything Celebi described except…

“He looks nothing like me,” Brian muttered loudly with his eyes narrowed.

Celebi rolled her eyes, showing her disbelief towards Brian’s stubbornness. “(Fine! We’ll take a closer look)!” Celebi squealed angrily as she grabbed Brian by the hand.

“Don’t bo…” Brian said but was interrupted when they disappeared simultaneously, courtesy of Celebi’s teleporting abilities.

“…ther,” he finished. He found himself sitting in an open field with his back next to the wall, still with Celebi, which he found unfortunate. Celebi pressed her finger on her lips as she signalled Brian to look up. As he did, he saw the person who Celebi described as his look-alike.

“Just brilliant,” the man in black armour grumbled in a moody tone.

“What is it, o centurion?” a roman soldier standing next to him asked.

“We’re facing a horde of ginger red maniacs with wild Mareeps nesting in their huge beards… or put it another way, the Scots,” the centurion said in somewhat arrogant tone. “And how does out inspired Caesar intend to keep out this vast army of nutcases?” he continued as he looked down. “By building a three-foot high wall. Terrifying obstacle. As frightening as a little Togepi with the word ‘boo!’ painted on its nose.”

The soldier was slightly startled at that remark. Another soldier came by. “O centurion, there seems to be a large orange hedge moving towards us,” he said.

“That’s not a hedge, Leglus,” the centurion replied in a somewhat calm tone. “It’s the Scots.”

Sure enough, a large number of men with ginger hair and beards were running towards them yelling out their battle cries. They had black markings and symbols on different parts of their bodies and were wearing loincloths and other rugged clothes.

“(Should we disappear now, Brian)?” Celebi cooed nervously as she saw the charging Scots.

“Yes…” Brian moaned, feeling irritable as he gave her a dull glare. “Any time you’re ready.”

“Perhaps we could negotiate!” the centurion yelled to the Scots. “First one here gets broken to pieces by Black Jack’s great, great grandfather!”

Celebi shut her eyes tightly while clinging herself onto him. They glowed vigorously green while Brian showed a sarcastically cheeky smile as he waved the Scots goodbye. The attacking Scot aimed his weapon at them but they disappeared, making him miss his target by an inch.


They teleported somewhere different in a future far from the roman ages, not far from Brian’s present time. They both looked around. It was a dark snowy night and the place looked like a small neighbourhood, consisting of white small houses. “I remember this place. I wonder what this place was called,” Brian said trying to remember. His eyes of curiosity turned into dismay after he took a few short seconds to remember it. “Oh no!”

He turned towards Celebi, who was flying towards one of the houses. “Celebi, not there,” Brian said, chasing her.

She stopped as she reached one of the houses to peep inside a window and Brian did the same, not that he was interested. What was they saw inside was a room with a wooden floor, white walls and ceiling. There were a number of types of furniture and Christmas decorations inside that room. Also inside the room were two men and a woman. One of them held a close resemblance to Brian. “(I take it that the guy in black is you, Brian),” Celebi cooed. The woman was wearing some typical housewife clothing while the other man was wearing a pair of glasses, a grey woolly jumper and a pair of thick brown jeans.

“And unfortunately, those other two people are my parents,” Brian said with a dull frown. “This was about five years ago before you rudely disturbed me.”


“Well, I’ll get our dinner ready, dears,” the past Brian’s mother said happily as she walked into the kitchen.

“Thanks, hon,” the father said coolly. “While you’re at it, Brian and I can have a nice father and son chat.”

“Sorry, dad, change of plans,” the past Brian replied with a blank expression. “I’m of to shoot myself for coming here.”

“Now, now, son. It’s been such a long time since you came here to see your old folks. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Too many bad memories. Like the one Christmas time when you drank too much eggnog and threw up all over me. The year before that, you said you’d get the presents for the family but you forgot and put the blame on me, causing me to be berated by our other relatives. A couple of years before that, you forced me to dress up like some pink fairy after finding out cousin Earl was suffering from a cold when he wasn’t and…”

“Okay, son, okay,” the father said. “I understand that you had some bad moments during Christmas but who doesn’t?”

“No one does, only me. You should also understand that no one should be sad on Christmas…”

“Yes, all right. This year, we’ll do whatever you want, son. What will it be?”

“As I told you before, I wanted to spend a little quality time with just me, boring myself for the next twelve days but since that’s out of the window because of your pesistent begging, I’ll just settle down and have a nice quiet holiday with my parents… and only my parents.”

A small sweat drop trickled down on the side of the father’s face. “Uh… son,” he said nervously.

Ding-dong!

Suspicious of that sound, Brian looked at his father with narrowed eyes. “I hope you don’t mind, Brian…” the father said sheepishly. “I invited a few more friends over already… after that conversation we had.”

Brian quickly walked out of the room in an attempt to lock the door and yell the words, “No one’s here!” But he was too late; his mother was already there, opening the door to reveal a number of people and pokemon singing their Christmas carols.

Jingle Bells
Vileplume smells
Chansey laid an egg
Zangoose thinks
Seviper stinks
The Spanish trainer yells “Ole!”

As they continued singing, the past Brian had a shocked look on his face with so much dismay. “That’s it. I’m going to Scrooge School,” he grumbled as he quickly walked away with a dull look on his face. After seeing everything, Celebi and the present Brian walked away from the house.

“That was the last time I ever saw them. Good riddance because even when I tried, something bad happens,” Brian said. “All I asked was for things to go my way. But no, everyone has to get their fun and I have to clean up.”

“(Hey, your parents didn’t know that you wanted to be alone),” Celebi squealed crossly.

“Doesn’t hurt to ask first, does it?”

(Plus, your parents were showing you what great friends you have).”

“Friends? Friends!?” Brian barked turning towards her, sounding a little louder when he said his second word. “All they want is my attention so they can talk about their talent, asking for my opinions and some show contracts! Even when I told them my opinions, they disagree with me no matter how smart my suggestions are. Take you for example: I’ve been giving you hints that I don’t want to be part of this stupid adventure and yet you keep on pestering me about something that’s already happened and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

A perplexed look was on the face of Celebi. “(Nope, didn’t catch any of that),” she cooed. “(The problem here is that you think that bad things happen to you on Christmas)…”

“Go on, babble on for no reason,” Brian mumbled as he turned his back towards her.

“(Let’s face it, bad things just happen to people, you can’t deny that. Things like that could happen to anyone any day, any night. You just got to lighten up a little bit because it may bring some funny memories… like the time when you had to dress up like a fairy).”

Brian angrily his attention back at the green fairy, who was giggling at that memory. “I knew you were going to mention that!” Brian said loudly, pointing at her. She quickly grasped his finger and glowed vigorously, much to Brian’s surprise.


The next thing he noticed was that he was standing in a studio and Celebi was no longer there. “I have no clue where I am,” he said to himself. “But at least the Celebi’s gone… I hope.”

He felt a clawed paw grasping his shoulder. He turned around and saw a big brown bear with a yellow ring on his belly. “An Ursaring?” he said.

“C’mon, Brian, you’re on next,” the Ursaring growled in perfect English.

“Wha…? You talk human talk?” Brian asked in shock as some cheesy music was sounded from the background.

“It’s English actually. Now go on already!”

“Wait a minute, what exactly am I doing here?”

Without even answering, the Ursaring shoved him into another part of the studio. There were large cameras pointing at him, much to his unpleasant shock. To add more to it, there were no humans in the audience, only pokemon. Some of the crowd were applauding him were others were booing him. He looked at the stage he was standing on, which looked decent enough to have a celebrity talk show. It had a bluish purple floor, comfy sofas, a wooden desk with a TV set placed on it. Sitting at the desk was a pink cat-like creature… Mew.

The little Mew motioned for Brian to come towards, which Brian did with a confused look on his face. He went to shake Mew by the paw. As he did, the little Mew flew up to his face and playfully kissed him on the lips, much to his shock. She gleefully pointed upwards, Brian looked at the direction Mew was pointing at and saw a mistletoe hanging from the ceiling above them. “Don’t tell me,” Brian said with a frown as he looked back at her. “You must be…”

“(Yep! I’m the Christmas Mew of the present)!” the little Mew cooed excitedly.

Brian showed his trademark frown. “Oh, it just keeps on getting better and better…”
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More coming! Reviews please!

[Cool-headed Blaziken]

Chapter 3: The Show Hosting Mew of the Christmas Present

Brian sat on the comfy chair while Mew sat on hers behind a desk. The audience were finishing off their applauding. “(Ah, Brian),” Mew cooed. “(So good to see you here).”

“Beg to differ,” Brian mumbled settling down.

“(You’ve been having issues with Christmas, right)?”

“Of course.”

“(I could ask you what’s been happening recently but we have been doing some ‘filming’ on you),” Mew cooed, twitching her fingers like speech marks when she mentioned ‘filming’.

“Really? That’s a surprise,” Brian said sarcastically.

“(Only on one particular moment. Have a look at this).”

They both looked at the screen that placed on the desk, showing a clip.


The clip showed Brian was in his mansion, walking towards the door after hearing the doorbell ringing. With Tony not being there to open the door, Brian had no choice but to answer. Upon opening the door, he met with a man dressed with a white buttoned short sleeved t-short, a black pair of trousers and a black tie. The man was carrying a leaflet.

“Hello, sir,” the man said politely with a bright smile.

“What do you want?”

“I want to wish you a merry Christmas!” the man said happily.

“Bah! Bumhug… I mean humbug!” Brian said, feeling slightly startled when he said the word ‘Bumhug’. “Billions of years too late.”

“Wait! Wait!” the man said, stopping Brian from slamming the door on him. “Christmas is a time for cheer and goodwill. Not only it’s about spending time with your loved ones, it’s also a time for giving!” He finished as he held out his small red charity box.

Brian gave him a glare with his trademark frown as a moment of silence followed. “You interrupted my boredom for that?” he said. “Wasted five minutes of my life already. Don’t knock on my door again unless it’s important.”

He attempted to slam the door on his face but the man held the door open to get more of his attention. “Wait! Have you ever read the bible? The part about having to help others in need?” the man said pleadingly.

“Well, it is a big book. If I remember correctly, and I quote, ‘thou shalt not let idiots near thy mansion’s door’,” Brian replied as he finally slammed the door shut.


After everyone finished viewing the screen, everyone started booing at Brian. He narrowed his in an arrogantly fashion. “I haven’t started,” he said.

“(Naughty, naughty! What were you thinking when the guy was giving you tips about the joy of Christmas)?” Mew cooed, starting to feel miffed.

“I was thinking about playing Scrabble by myself,” Brian said. “It would be nice for me to play against someone intelligent for a change.”

Getting what he meant, the crowd booed him again while Brian motioned them to keep them coming.

“(Have you no shame? You say that you’re the only person who has a hard time during those Christmas days)?” Mew cooed. “(Let’s take a look).”

The screen showed a family sitting at a table eating their dinner. The father had tattoos on his arms, and long black hair; he was wearing a tight t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and a pair of sunglasses. His name was Fuzzy Tuskbourne. His wife, Karen, was wearing a black long sleeved t-shirt and pair of black trousers. The daughter, named Maggie, was a chubby teen, also wearing the same clothes as her mother. Another chubby teen, Mack, their son, was wearing a orange and blue sporting jersey and a pair of white baggy trousers.

Brian recognised them immediately. “Why, it’s the Tuskbournes,” he said in a sarcastically pleasing tone. “How nice to see their chubby faces again.”

“Shh,” Mew whispered, placing her finger on her mouth. “Listen.”


At the Tuskbourne residence, Fuzzy mumbled and gibbered a number of things in which only his family could understand. Karen’s eyes widened with excitement.

“That’s a (WHEE!)ing good idea, Fuzzy!” she said delightfully. “We can get (D’OH!)ing Maggie to write a (BONG!)ing Christmas song and we can all (BEEP!)ing sing it together like the (EE-HE!)ing Cosbys.”

“But mom, we’re not black,” Mack said before showing a puzzled look on his face. “Are we?”

“Mack! Why don’t you just shut up!” Maggie complained. “You’re such a Muk bag!”

“Fat Miltank!” Mack yelled back, not liking that comment.

“Muk bag!”

“Fat Miltank!”

“Muk bag!”

“Fat Miltank!”

“Muk bag!”

“Fat Miltank!”

“Uh… Muk bag!”

“Fat Miltank!”

“Shut the (BAD!) up, the both of you!” Karen cried angrily before a doorbell rang. “Maggie! Go get the (NO!)ing door!”

“I (SNORK!)ing hate Christmas!” Maggie yelled, getting up from her seat and turning to get the door. She evilly looked back at her brother for a brief moment. “Muk bag!” she muttered.

“Fat Miltank,” Mack muttered back.

When Kelly reached the door, she grabbed and turned the handle, opening the door to reveal a number of children in warm clothes singing Christmas carols.

We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year…

“Aw, would you look at that,” Maggie said, feeling slightly emotional. “A bunch of young (MOO!)ing brats (BA-AH!)ing disturbing us!! We’re having a (UH-UH!)ing dinner here and you’re (PAF!)ing ruining it!!” she screamed angrily, scaring the little innocent kids. She crouched down towards them, putting a coin in a charity box one of the kids was holding. “But you guys have AMAZING voices,” she said calmly with passion in her voice. She waved them goodbye, calmly wishing them happy holidays before shutting the door. “(FENIT!)ing (OI!)s,” she snarled before making her way back to the dinner table.

When she did, another doorbell rang. “(PEACH!) sake!” she yelled, rushing towards the door.

When she reached the door, she opened it revealing a group of baby pokemon, like Pichus, baby mouse pokemon, Teddiursas, bear cub pokemon, Smoochums, baby kisser type pokemon, and others. They were cutely singing their Christmas carols but in their own language.

(Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright)...

“Oh, look at them. A bunch of baby pokemon,” Maggie said, admiring their cuteness. “Why don’t you lot just shut the (YAHOO!) up!” she yelled, suddenly getting extremely angry. “You (SIKE!)ing lot think you can just (DUDE!)ing walk around people’s houses, (HADOKEN!)ing knock on their (BONG!)ing doors, just to (BOING!)ing sing a (BLEEP!)ing Christmas (CENSORED!)ing carol and get some (BARNEY!)ing change!! Well…”

She rummaged through her pocket and took out another coin and placed it inside their charity box. “By the way, I think you lot are SO cute,” she said happily.

Sometime later, as soon she went back to the dinner table, the doorbell rang again. “Not (FORE!)ing again!” she yelled angrily startling her parents and brother. “I feel like a (WHOOPEE!)ing yo-yo here!”

While Maggie continued her non-stop complaining, Fuzzy decided to head for the door. After he opened the door, a man dressed in a sparkling attire. “Ee-he! Check your bad self, Fuzzy!” he said in a falsetto voice as he held up plastic bag full of wrapped up presents. “I just got you a bunch of pressies, ya bad man! Now dat I’m seeing you, I don’t whether to laugh or cry, live or die, or…”

“Jack (PAF!)ing Michaels!!” Maggie yelled angrily. “Who (SIKE!)ing invited you in here!!”

“Just payin’ a little visit, baby! Ow!” Jack said, doing a small hip thrust after saying the last word. “Cos you are not alone cos I am here with you, sha’mone!”

“I (FLIP!)ing hate you, you (BLEEP!)ing (LEDIAN_X!)!! You just want to (PLAYA!)ing get in his (BREEZY!)ing good books!! Why don’t you just (BOBBY!)ing get the (MISTY!) out of here…!”

As she continued on, threatening to call the mental institute, Jack took his leave while dancing away. “…I (FLARE)ing hate you! With a (911!)ing vengeance!!” she yelled, pushing her father back in. “But you’re funny though and your music’s awesome,” she cried in a calm and passionate tone before closing the door.


“Well, I’m not surprised that she was feeling that way,” Brian said after the clip finished. “I get a lot of people knocking on my door.”

“(See, you’re not the only person who had bad times),” Mew cooed. “(What you’re also showing is that you always think about yourself and not about the feelings of people and pokemon, plus the fact that you never give away anything, especially on this special season).”

“On the contrary, Oprah, I did give away a penny to those three idiots today.”

“(But you did enjoy watching them get squashed by a huge crate).”

Brian let out a small sigh of bliss after remembering that moment. He always finds pleasure in other people’s misfortune, much like his friends who mostly were bent on world domination.

“(You may be smiling now but you’re going to have to change your ways and how you feel afterwards),” Mew cooed, which the audience applauded to.

“Fat chance,” Brian grumbled while the audience continued applauding.

“(It’s a funny night here tonight. Brian Powell here everybody)!” Mew cooed loudly. As expected, the crowd booed at him instead of cheering for him.

“Do you have Jennifer Anniston on the guest list?” Brian asked Mew in a slight hopeful tone.

Mew’s response, having Brian thrown out of that part of the studio by security, much to the crowd’s delight. He landed face first onto the floor. “I was just joking,” he mumbled with his face still on the floor. He slowly picked himself up, momentarily dazed and then dusted the dirt off his shirt. “I wonder where the exit is?” he asked himself, wanting to get this adventure over with. He looked around and spotted a piece paper stuck on the wall with an arrow pointing in one direction and had the words ‘It’s over there’ underneath the arrow.

Taking in the information he slowly walked into the corridor the arrow pointed to. Soon he spotted another arrow, pointing upwards towards the stairs with the words ‘It’s up there’ written underneath it. He took that direction to get to the exit.

It took several arrows to get him to the exit… or so he thought. He spotted another arrow that pointed to a door with the words ‘It’s here’ underneath it. Brian showed a confused look on his face seeing that had no exit sign on it. He opened the door and found a tall muscular goblin with red and black colours painted all over his head. On one hand, he was holding a stick with smoke emitted from the top part, on the other he was holding a bell. He was wearing a pair of the black jeans and Christmas hat on top of his head. With a bewildered and disgusted look in his, Brian asked, “Who… the heck… are you!?”

“Silent night, holy night,” the goblin started singing in a slow and spooky voice. “All is calm, all is bright. Round yon virgin mother and child. Holy infant so tender and mild…” He laughed an evil laugh. “I’m da Boogeyman!” he yelled in a monstrous voice. “And I’m comin’ to getcha!”

He finished his evil laughter mouthing Brian slowly closed the door on him, mouthing the words, “What the heck…?” To make sure that he wasn’t seeing things, he opened the door again, seeing the Boogeyman again.

“Sle-eep in heavenly…” the Boogeyman sang before slamming the bell on top of his head. After receiving the impact, the Boogeyman laughed evilly again, much to Brian’s bewilderment as he closed the door.

After closing the door, he felt a light tap on his shoulder. Feeling rather annoyed, Brian slowly turned around and saw a tall figure wearing a cloak. The face was deeply hidden by the shade of the hood. “What do you want?” Brian asked bitterly.

The cloaked figure removed the hood, revealing his face, which appeared of a mutated cat creature, and identity. “Ah! Mewtwo,” Brian said. “Liked you in that first movie and you were doing a good in that Return movie. But I do have one criticism, for a guy is trying to be evil... you’re distinctly average.”

“Silence!!” Mewtwo said using his telepathic ability, glaring at Brian with a frown of his own.

“Ow!” Brian said, feeling his head getting hurt from within. “I’m probably gonna more than aspirin after this. It’s like listening to flipping G4 on volume level ten.”

“I am the Mewtwo of the Christmas future,” Mewtwo said.

“I thought that you don’t anything, except sit and think all day after those movies, unless the other fanfic writers are using you...”

“Come,” Mewtwo said, turning his back towards him. “Let me take you to our next destination and your future.”

Brian, who never believed in any other this, turned the other way, only to find the psychic type standing in front of him, much to his unpleasant surprise. “Was I talking to myself?” Mewtwo asked, now glowing vigorously blue showing his anger.

“Yes,” Brian replied simply.

Mewtwo stopped glowing and a frying pan suddenly fell on Brian’s head, making a banging thud upon impact. He was knocking down, now flat on his back. “Why a frying pan?” Brian said while rubbing his aching head.

“I do have a humorous side,” Mewtwo replied with an arrogant smirk.
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More coming! Reviews please!

[Cool-headed Blaziken]

Chapter 4: The Distinctly Average Evil Mewtwo of the Christmas Future

After taking a long while to get to the exit of the studio building, much to Brian’s boredom, he and Mewtwo now found themselves in a cemetery. “This studio was built here? This is so not an ideal place to take a lifelong rest,” Brian commented.

“The studio is no longer here,” Mewtwo said telepathically with a hint of seriousness in reply.

Brian looked behind him and found that the building was no longer there, much to his surprise. “Well then… where are we? Or when are we?” he asked looking back towards the psychic type.

“I used my powers to travel us here into the future.”

“You sure mention your usage of powers a lot,” Brian said as he continued following him.

Soon, they came across a grave with a tombstone that the words ‘Bill Fireman’. They both stopped to observe the grave before Mewtwo gave Brian a cold glare. “Not a tear from your eye,” Mewtwo said in disgust. “How can you be so cold to a man who called you a friend?”

“If you want tears, I’ll be back in a little while with a bottle of mineral water,” Brian said sarcastically. “With droplets of them placed on my face.”

“You’re despicable.”

“And your Daffy Duck impression is pretty horrible.”

“Do you know how he first came into your life?”

“Let’s see… I first met him at the door of my house. He told me that he forgotten where he lived. I… no, wait, Tony did some researching and some interrogation. After we found out where he lived… it turned out that he had been evicted because he kept on calling the landlord Dave instead of Terry. I had to allow Bill to stay under my roof… until that ‘Happy Bad Day!’ story when I thought up of an old folk’s home he could stay in. Darn good thing too, he keeps eating away my peanuts.”

“That’s one small thing compared to what you have done to him. On more than one occasion, you’ve manipulative his mind. One time, you tricked Bill into talking to a mirror version of himself, you then sent a fake jury duty letter along with a letter that said that one of his favourite teddies had to be taken away. And just recently, before Celebi was helping you see the error of your ways, you had Bill thinking that the vase was you. All the things you have done seemed endless.”

Silence came between them, with Brian still staring at the grave. “Good times,” he said finally.

“Allow me to show you how he died,” Mewtwo said as he placed his paw on top Brian’s forehead, glowing energetically blue.


The next thing Brian knew was that he was floating inside a large dome like room, above a number of audience members alongside Mewtwo. “This is the place of your so-called friend’s death place,” he said.

Brian looked around and saw two men sleeping in one of the boxes of the opera due to the boredom of the show. One of them appeared held a close resemblance to Brian, only older, while the other held a resemblance to Bill. “Right, I can see where this is going,” the present Brian mumbled while pretending to think.

Soon, the show finished and the audience members stood up, giving the actors and actresses on stage a standing ovation making the future Brian stir in his sleep until he woke up. “Hey, I think the show’s over, Bill,” he said, patting Bill on the shoulder.

There’s no movement from Bill. With a puzzled look on his face, the future Brian stood up. He shook him by the shoulders but there was still no movement. “You must be a deep sleeper,” he mumbled. He then quickly took out a marker pen out of his pocket and let out a small chortle.

The present Brian showed a look of surprise after seeing the future version of himself drawing various scribbles on the old man’s face. “I would be actually doing that?” he asked himself. He let out a small giggle. “That’s pretty.”

“That was before you were told he was dead… and you still had no emotion,” Mewtwo said. He glowed vigorously, blinding Brian momentarily while he protected his eyes from the blindness.

He found himself in the cemetary, still with Mewtwo. “Come, let me show you your grave,” Mewtwo said as he began walking away.

“My grave?” Brian said bitterly. “Forget it. You and the other pokemon have been wasting my time throughout this whole adventure, so…” He suddenly felt a hand tapping him on the shoulder. Perplexed, he turned around to who it was and it turned out that the person had a familiar red and black painted face. It was a face so horrible that it made Brian startle.

“You have been shouting, you have been bad,” the goblin sang in a monstrous voice. “You better watch out, I’m telling you why… Boogeyman’s comin’… to getcha!!”

“Mewtwo! Wait for me!” Brian cried running away from the Boogeyman.


It didn’t take long for Brian and Mewtwo to reach their destination. There was a funeral going on as a vicar, a Tyranitar and a Pichu stood around a grave and a tombstone. “Hardly surprising there,” Brian said with a small frown. He always knew that he would gain enough friends who would have the heart to visit him at his funeral. “I predict that I wouldn’t have any kids of my own, let alone grandkids. How would I die?”

In response, Mewtwo placed his paw on Brian’s forehead again while glowing vigorously. This time, they teleported somewhere in a street, floating in the dark night sky. They looked down and saw the future Brian walking down a street, in a sulky mood as the present Brian normally was.

“Hey! Brian!” a woman’s voice yelled, catching everyone’s attention. They all turned towards a young woman in casual clothing looking down on the future Brian from her house. “You suck!!”

“That’s the woman your future self had criticised for her singing,” Mewtwo said.

“I’m not surprised,” the present Brian replied.

The woman chucked the can towards the future Brian but missed as he ducked out of the way. He quickly stood up. “Haha! You missed me,” he cried mockingly before the woman threw a big pile of cans at him, burying him alive.

“Why wouldn’t I see that coming?” the present Brian asked.

“You haven’t died yet,” Mewtwo said. “Keep looking.”

As they looked on, the future Brian managed to knock away the cans that crowded all over him but still felt dizzy. He accidentally bumped into a wooden lamppost and the lamp with the metallic shade fell and crashed on his head. After letting out a painful groan, he stumbled backwards while taking the shade off... only to see the pole falling on top of him, crushing him like a bug.

The present Brian shut his eyes tightly looked away with a hurt look on his face. He quickly opened his eyes, finding himself back on the cemetery along with Mewtwo. “Well, not an ideal way to die,” Brian said.

“I sense that you do not fear death,” Mewtwo said, which Brian agreed to. “But you do have some of the things you fear of... embarrassment and humiliation.”

“Oh, don’t bother showing me those,” Brian said feeling annoyed, with a small hint of plea in his voice.

Despite that, Mewtwo placed his paw on his head again. “Brian... this is your immediate future,” Mewtwo said before he flashed a glowing light.

After the flash, Brian found himself inside an audition. He looked around and saw four people sitting in an audition room. One of them was his future self. He was sitting as one of the judges of the panel alongside three other people, Bill Fireman, Maggie Tuskbourne, and Jack Michaels, much to his dismay.

A young man walked into the room dressed in some casual clothing until he got to the centre of room. To the judges, he was one of the contestants wanting to become a singer. “Hiya, Muk bag,” Maggie joyfully.

“Ee-he! Check your bad self, sha’mone!” Jack said in his trademark voice.

“Au revoir,” Bill said casually.

“Hello,” the contestant replied nervously.

“Your name is...” Brian said looking through the documents. “Fizzy, yes?”

Fizzy nodded.

“Why are you here?” Brian asked, not bothered with the hellos.

“I believe that I am one of most talented people here today.”

“What are you going to sing?”

“I’m going to sing ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ by Trinity Lance.”

Brian’s eyes showed shock and dismay and was about to warn Fizzy about the song but it was too late. Fizzy began dancing to the song in a ridiculous way, at least in Brian’s mind as he folded his arms in an annoyed manner. Not to mention that Fizzy was singing off-key since he started.

Having enough, Brian held his hand up to stop him singing. “Fizzy... you were flat,” he said disappointedly. “You came in here thinking you’re like a champagne drink yet you’re more like a cheap supermarket wine.”

“Ee-he! Everyone knows I’m a bad, I’m bad, dat’s right,” Jack said enthusiastically. “But you’re the bad man here, sha’mone.”

“What?” Brian thought to himself in disbelief.

“Your dancing makes you invincible, sha’mone! I’m more than loving to put you through the next round.”

“Oh, jeez.”

“I agree with Brian!” Bill said. Still in disbelief, Brian placed his hands on his face while shaking his head. “Brian is a talent genius. He once sang… no, wait, rapped ‘Gettin’ Jiggy With It’ by Bill Lith in his underwear.”

Unbeknownst to the judges, a figure dressed in trench coat and hat was hiding in the shadows writing things down on his notepad. “Bill, that was Tony,” Brian said. After hearing that, the man tossed away his notepad seeing nothing interesting in it.

“You know what I think?” Maggie started before she started getting seriously angry. “I think you look like a right (BOWZER!)ing (STEWIE!)! Hit you one more time!? I’ll (CHANSEY!)ing hit you one more time! You’re dancing’s all (KATIEKITTEN)ed up!!”

“Yes, a woman who has common sense,” Brian thought happily to himself.

“…But you do have an AMAZING voice,” Maggie continued, now being calm and passionate. Brian slammed his head on the table, hoping that he was dreaming all of this.

The contestant was through to the next round, despite Brian’s choice. “Where did all the sane people go?” Brian sobbed with his head still on the table.


After that flashback, Brian had a dull look on his face. “This is because of all this Christmas stuff, right?” he asked.

“If you continue with your negative ways about Christmas,” Mewtwo said. “The producers know that you can’t stand insanity and stupidity... people do like to see the annoyed look on your face.”

Brian looked back where Jerry, Tony and the priest were standing, where his future grave was placed. “Now, even though Brian had been tremendously successful in his life’s ambition to be a great fanfic writer... he wasn’t a great man or anything,” the priest as he placed away his bible. “Tony and Jerry, do you have anything to say?”

“Nah,” they both replied simply.

Brian’s eyes and mouth widened with shock and disgust as the trio walked away. “That’s gratitude for you,” he said. “I’ve allowed them to eat some of my ginger nuts as well.”

Mewtwo looked at him suspiciously. “It’s a packet of biscuits,” Brian said. He then felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. Curious, he turned around seeing the Boogeyman again. “Look, this is not funny anymore,” Brian barked in an annoyed fashion.

With one hand, the Boogeyman grabbed Brian by the collar of his shirt, looking insanely at him in his frightened eyes while Mewtwo turned his back and walked away. “Mewtwo! A little help here!” Brian said.

“A new task will be set for you,” Mewtwo said still walking away. “Now… farewell.”

“I’m da Boogeyman!” the Boogeyman yelled as he placed his other hand in his trouser pocket. “And I’m comin’… to getcha!” he continued as he pulled a bunch of worms out of it. He then proceeded to shove them down Brian’s mouth before releasing him.

Brian spat the worms out of his mouth, staggering away with dizziness after accidentally tasting the foulness of the worms. As he was spitting them out, he accidentally stumbled onto the edge of the grave and fell in. He let out a loud and long scream as he fell into the bottomless pit…


Until suddenly, he woke up. He found himself in his room dressed in his pyjamas with a surprised look on his face. He suddenly felt a throbbing pain inside his brain and began to rub his head. “Dang it. Need an aspirin,” he mumbled to himself. He spotted a small piece of paper and picked it up. He noticed a few words written on it and started reading.

“Brian,” Brian said reading the note aloud. “You must change the error of your ways, for everyone sees you as a man who never thought of others and you are never happy. This Christmas, and for the rest of your life, you must now become a kind-hearted man if you want to have your future changed. Signed, Mewtwo.”

Brian looked at the note one more time before throwing the letter away. “Baloney,” he said to himself. He looked in front of him again and saw small worm slithering up towards him. Brian let out a loud scream of fear before running out of the room, not knowing that the worm was actually Jerry’s pet.
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More coming! Reviews please!

[Cool-headed Blaziken]

Website address where I got the theme song, even though it does not exist anymore: http://planet-futurama.piranho.com/sounds.htm Credit to the guy who got it.


Chapter 5: Not So Scroogy Anymore?

“Merry Christmas, one and all!”

That was Brian yelling in his loudest and joyous voice. He was standing in front of the gates of his mansion.

“Shuddup, you moron!” a man’s voice yelled.

“Yes! Yes! Back to you too!” Brian yelled back, still in his loudest and joyous voice.

Before he came out of his mansion, he had a realisation that the only reason why his so-called friends were so happy almost all the time was because they were crazy unlike him. So, for once, he decided to make a checklist of things to do on that day, which was Christmas Day. Firstly, before he left his mansion, he had ordered a bunch of things from the ebay.com on the internet to give to his ‘friends’ and family. Luckily for him, the large crate of presents fell in front of his mansion and not on top of him.

Now with the crate next to him, he looked around, looking for someone to assist him carrying the large crate. He was in luck; he found two familiar people and a pokemon in rugged clothing and motioned them to come over. They were none other than Jessie, James and Meowth. He politely asked them to help him drag the crate to the Tuskbourne residence, where they would be holding a Christmas Day party. It was next to his mansion.

It took some time for them to their destination. In exchange for their assistance, Brian decided gave them a ‘humble’ reward. “Here you go, five hundred dollars each for helping me move this crate,” Brian said, handing them some money. “Oh, and here’s a couple of bucks for your trouble.”

The rockets gasped in awe when they received their reward. “Oh, my gosh!” James said. “A couple of bucks!”

While the trio counted their money, Brian knocked on door and waited for someone to answer. Soon, someone from the other opened it, revealing to be Maggie Tuskbourne. She was shocked to see him. “Brian Powell!? (BONG!)ing Brian Powell!?” she yelled angrily. “What the (NONO!) do you want, you arrogant (BUZZ!)!?”

“I came here to celebrate with you guys,” Brian replied with a smile on his face. “Christmas is a joyous occasion of course.”

“(Brian, what are you doing here)?” Tony growled, walking up to Maggie Tuskbourne from behind. “(And what’s with the crate)?”

“This crate has a bunch of presents inside, one for each person we know and love,” Brian said pointing his thumb at the large box behind him.

Tony’s eyes widened with shock and disbelief. “Okay, stranger,” Tony said suspiciously. “Who are you and what did you do to my boss?”

“Tony, it’s me.”

“Prove it.”

“Tony and… Toni,” Brian said with a sly smile on his face.

A red blush appeared on Tony’s face, showing his embarrassment. “(Me and my big mouth),” he growled to himself while turning away, convinced that Brian was actually there.

Everyone in the mansion was also shocked that Brian was also there. They all knew that he was normally a cold-hearted man who hated Christmas. Upon Brian’s and the Rockets’ entry into the house, they all asked what made he have a change of heart. “Let’s just say… I had a vision and a realisation of things,” he said.

Brian gave out a bunch of presents to each guest of the party such as Bill Fireman receiving a children’s dictionary and a book called ‘Reading for Idiots’, which he had trouble opening both books let alone reading them.

Jerry the Pesky Pichu was the only pokemon left to be given a present. He saw him leaning his chest on a yellow, wingless, dragon-like creature called an Ampharos and walked over to them. He patted Jerry on the head, catching their attention. “(Hi, Brian),” Jerry squeaked after turning towards him. “I thought you weren’t coming).”

“Change of mind, Jerry,” Brian replied before turning his attention to the Ampharos, who had a sad look on her face. “Hi, Shelly, liked you in ‘Buddies’.”

Shelly let out some whimpers and whining. “(Shelly’s boyfriend went out of town the other day to help make a movie),” Jerry squeaked sympathetically before he and Brian noticed some electricity started to spark on Shelly’s antennas. “(Er… Brian, I think now would be a good that you get out those presents right now),” Jerry squealed in fear.

“I’m on it,” Brian said before rushing out of the room and coming back with a present in hand. It appeared to be a DVD. The package showed a picture of the cast of ‘Mr. and Mrs. Biff’; two Quagsires, one was wearing a pink bow on her head.

“(Mr. and Mrs. Biff)…” Shelly whimpered getting all teary eyed. “(That male Quagsire… Flabby… he’s my… ex-boyfriend).”

Jerry’s and Brian’s eyes widened, knowing what they had inadvertently just done. “Um… calm down, Shelly,” Brain said nervously. “No one should be sad on Christmas.”

“(I’m sorry but I can’t help it. He’s more successful than me… he’s more popular than me… he’s got more money than me)…” Shelly continued choking on each sentence as her sparks became more aggressive.

Knowing what was going to happen, Jerry gave Brian a small frown. “(Good going),” he squeaked in a down tone. As expected, powerful sparks were shot out of Shelly’s body, spreading all over the mansion and shocking everyone that got in the way until an explosion occurred. Team Rocket was sent flying out of the mansion and into the air while their hard earned money fell out of their pockets, much to their horror.

“Waah!!” James cried with streams of tears came running down his face. “Our money!!”

“How come the other characters aren’t being blown away?” Jessie complained with her arms folded.

“Brian can’t help it,” Meowth said sternly. “He’s the author of this fic and he likes it when stuff like this happens on the anime.”

“But it’s Christmas! We should be happy too!” Jessie cried. “Why can’t those writers give us a break!”

A blue blob seemingly appeared out of nowhere, placing his paw on his head. “Wobbuffet!” he croaked loudly.

“Team Rocket’s blasting off again!!” the three yelled.

“Wobbuffet!” the blue blob croaked again before they be came out of sight.

Back at the Tuskbourne residence, the dust and smog cleared and everyone was knocked down to the floor after receiving electric shocks. Shelly was the only one who wasn’t hurt. Everything in the house was in ruins and shambles, covered with dust, dirt and burnt marks. Maggie was the first to get up to her feet, now with an angry look in her eyes. “Brian! You massive fat (IMBECILE!)ing (NONONO!)!” she yelled angrily. “You (EE-HE!)ing ruined my house, you (CHIBI!)ing (POP!)er!! Right, dad!?” she yelled before turning towards Fuzzy.

Fuzzy sat up and babbled a bunch of things, which no one understood apart from a couple words they managed to catch, ‘(DOPE!)ing mad’.

“Okay, people, I apologise,” Brian said as he stood up. “I’ll pay for everything. I know how upset you all are but Christmas and every other holiday is the time for being happy. Now what do you guys want me to do to make you guys happy?”

Everyone narrowed their eyes at him… Brian could only think of the worst.


*Cue the ‘Odd Couple’ theme*

They had chosen to spend the Christmas Day celebration at his house. It was now night time, everyone was having a fun time, playing games, drinking, eating and all. His irritating parents arrived at the mansion, as he expected. After greeting each other, and some sloppy kisses from his mother, the now depressed Brian let them in. “Can I go through at least one Christmas without any mishap?” he mumbled to himself after they went through. “Can I cope with these guys before I go insane?”

He suddenly heard some crashing and glass shattering from the inside; he was slightly fazed by the noise. “You didn’t like that expensive widescreen TV, did you, Brian?” he heard Bill’s voice say over the loud cheesy music being played in the background.

“I’m Maggie, you (LALA!)ing fat (FRED!)” Maggie’s voice yelled, which was followed by a sound of some wooden table slamming.

“Maybe not,” Brian mumbled to himself, predicting what was coming next such as his mother talking about him being dressed in some fairy costume. He looked down and spotted a worm slithering towards him. “Buzz off,” he grumbled crossly before kicking it away into the night sky, not caring what the future lies ahead of him anymore.

He walked back inside his mansion, only to be met with Jerry who squeaked, “(Brian, have you seen my pet worm)?”


END!


Brian’s speech/message:
Ladies and gents, over the past twelve months, there have been things both alarming and concerning. Being serious, people and animals alike are suffering a number of different hardships: getting involved in current wars, problems concerning their loved ones like losing them, problems with their work and/or studies and others. What you saw in the entire fic reflects some of my personality and what I can be like as a person, but I’m not like that all the time. I’m sometimes like that because I had hard times of my own like everyone else.

Even though I’m not a Christian or anything, I celebrate Christmas because I feel that it’s the time to spend with your family and friends. But Christmas isn’t the only holiday I know at this time of year that people celebrate. There’s also Hanukah, Kwanza… I don’t know any other holiday names but still, I believe they have something in common and, like I said before, that it’s to spend time with the people that you love (they can irritating but you still got to love them). If you have loved ones who aren’t with you, remember that they’re with you in spirit and inside your heart.

I hope this fic brought much delights to everyone, whether you are a member of the forums or not. I thank you for reading and I wish you happy holidays, everyone. Happy new year too. It’s gonna suck but we’re gonna love it.