Red Temper! Red Curry! Red Nose Day! (Red Nose Day/Comic Relief Special) Rated: K+

A/N: Inspired by School Rumble

“This is all your fault, James!”

That was Jessie yelling at her cohort. She was a long haired purple haired woman, wearing a black and white uniform with a red R on her chest.

“I’m sorry, Jessie.”

That was James whimpering, nervously backing away from her. He was a short light purpled haired man wearing his variation of a black and white uniform also with a red R on his chest. “No, wait! It was Meowth’s fault!”

“What’cha talkin’ about, Jimmy!?”

That was Meowth, a cocky little cat with a coin on his head. “It ain’t my fault dat you pushed the self-destruct button!”

It was early afternoon. They were in a middle of a forest, arguing over another of their failed attempt of capturing some twerp’s Pikachu, a cute little rodent. Suddenly, they heard and felt their stomachs rumble, immediately stopping their bickering.

“Right, where’s the Kitkat?” Jessie asked dully, feeling that she can’t continue yelling at them without an empty stomach.

“I don’t,” Meowth replied simply. “What about you, James?”

“No,” James said. “Jessie?”

“Don’t look at me. I already asked that question!”

It took them a few seconds to realise what this meant.

“Does this mean that there’s no food whatsoever!?” James cried with unpleasant shock.

“We’re going to starve forever!?” Jessie cried with utter dismay.

“We’re not gonna do our routine of fighting over the last or biggest of snack!?” Meowth cried in absolute horror.

“Wobbuffet!?” a blue blob croaked loudly, who to have appeared out of nowhere holding a chocolate bar.

“I can’t believe that we have no food,” Jessie complained to James and meowth, not paying attention to the blue blob Wobbuffet eating the chocolate.

“Munch munch.”

“Wah… I can hear someone munchin’ on some chocolate bar,” Meowth said.

“Munch munch.”

“It’s a shame when you think about the things you might hear,” James said with a done tone. “It makes you even hungrier.”

“Wobbuffet!” Wobbuffet croaked loudly pointing to a direction, catching their attention.

“We don’t want to see your dance routing to some YMCA song, you stupid blob,” Jessie complained taking her pokeball out. “Back inside!” she demanded before zapping him back in.

“Hey look!” Meowth cried pointing to a city he spotted, not realising that Wobbuffet pointing at it earlier.

“So if there’s a city…” Jessie said, thinking things up mathematically.

“Then that means…” James continued, excitement building up inside him.

“FOOD! YAHOO!” all three of them cried, jumping into the air with unbelievable joy.

Despite getting into the city, a city that had thousands of stores that contained food, they weren’t able to get any because they had no money, not even a cent to buy a one cent candy. After an hour, they were still hungry and had given up. They leaned against of the walls of a building, slowly sliding down until their behinds hit the floor. “Is dis de end of Team Rocket?” Meowth moaned weakly. “Is dis the end of the anime series, which we worked over ten years on? Is dis de be chapter where Brian Powell will announce his re…”

“Come one! Come all!” yelled a man’s voice enthusiastically, catching their attention.

Their turned their heads towards him. He was wearing a waiter’s uniform, standing in front of a restaurant. “Today for one day only, we have a curry eating contest!” He cried enthusiastically. “The contestant who manages to finish the restaurant’s hottest and spiciest curry first will win five thousand dollars! Everyone is welcome to take the challenge, including pokemon.”

The trio’s eyes widened with excitement. “You know what that means don’t you?” James said excitedly.

“Yay! Free food!” Meowth cried.

“Hold on! Since when have you two have started eating spicy food?” Jessie asked, slightly hesitant.

“Ever since we got hungry,” James replied gleefully.

“Tink about it, Jessie,” Meowth said. “If we can get all our guys together, we’ll sure to win dat five thousand dollar prize!”

“I guess,” Jessie said thinking deeply. “How spicy can those curries be anyway?”

After entering the restaurant and putting their names down on the contestants list, they found themselves in a large room where rectangular tables and chairs were lined up in rows, with a number of plates on each table. Each plate had a portion of rice accompanied by some curry red sauce with various veggies and meat. The sauce was bubbling like it was lava from a volcano.

A lot of the contestants began feeling nervous and had second thoughts of participating in the contest, based on the curry on their plates. Even though the dishes looked delicious, it also looked dangerously spicy. A little pink clown-like pokemon Mime Jr., who belonged to James, was withdrawn from the contest immediately after James nervously saw how dangerous the dish was and he didn’t him to suffer for them. “And I thought Meowth was a fraidy cat,” Jessie said.

“Bad joke, number 103,” Meowth commented, sounded unimpressed.

Accompanying with the three Rocket agents were their pokemon, with the exception of Mime Jr. Belonging to Jessie were a purple moth with green patterned wings called a Dustox, a black snake with a spiky tail and strange yellow and purple marks all over his body, and Wobbuffet. A small spiky cactus creature called Cacnea belonged to James. They all sat in a row on their chairs, nervously glaring down on their respective obstacles that stood in the way of victory, glory and a bunch of cash.

After a few seconds, James and Meowth looked at each other with determined eyes. They both thought in unison that there was no way they were going to give in to some red splat.

“Ready!?” the announcer cried into the microphone as everyone, people and pokemon, picked up their spoons, ready to dunk into their food. “Go!”

Everyone began guzzling into their food. After one or a few spoonfuls, most of them felt the severe hotness and extreme spiciness of their food.

“Too spicy!”


“My mouth! It burns!”


Not even the pokemon of any type, not even fire, water, or psychic, could withstand them. Not even a Snorlax, a big fat cat-like behemoth, known to eat any food of any kind, could withstand one small spoon.

“Oh my goodness! So many have given up already!” the announcer yelled. But there was hope. He spotted James and Meowth guzzling through it, much to everyone’s surprise.

Jessie and the pokemon were still staring at the curries. “How about we try taking a small lick of it?” she asked. The pokemon reluctantly agreed to that suggestion.

But one small lick later and their skins became red with the heat. “Thanks for the food,” Jessie said casually before heading straight towards the washroom. The pokemon said the same words but in their own language before they followed her.

Meowth and James were still guzzling through them, much to the stunned surprise of the audience as they continued watching in awe.

“How do they do it?”

“Are they really hungry?”

“Are they spice proof?”

“These are the bravest guys I have ever known.”

“Hey, wait a minute…”

One of the members of the audience spotted Meowth eating nothing but air. His dish was almost half eaten but now he was scooping empty spoonfuls. “What’s wrong with him?” one of the spectators asked.

“He may have guts, but having eaten all that curry, taking in all the spiciness and pain given to him, he must’ve lost consciousness,” answered another worriedly.

“I gotta… keep… going…” Meowth said weakly, sweating beads from all over his body thanks to the heat of the curry. His vision became blurry as he blinked numerous and his mind was spinning around like he received a random punch attack from a Hitmonchan, a boxing pokemon. And then, he fainted, collapsing face first into his curry.

“Meowth is disqualified!!” the announcer cried into his microphone while tears of sadness and joy ran down from his eyes.

James kept on going, eating his curry. He was determined to win this contest, no matter what. Now, upon the crowd was Jessie after recuperating from the curry she tasted. She was amazed by James’s guts and heart being put into this contest. For as long as she could remember, he was a nervous and scared man who at times whines when given a job to do and screws up every time when trying to capture some twerp’s pikachu.

She ran towards him. She shoved the unconscious Meowth from the chair, down to the floor before sitting next to him. “C’mon! You can do it, James!” she said encouragingly.

James didn’t hear her, as he was so focused on finishing off his curry. But soon, he had no rice left, which were used to lower the spiciness of the curry but only at the slightest. What was left was the pile of curry left, much to his dismay and her concern.

He looked down on the curry, still with a determined look on his face. His hands were shaking while he held the spoon in one of them. He tossed the spoon down before grabbing the plate with his hands and opened his mouth wide enough to pour the curry in. The crowd was gasped with awe, apart from Meowth was still unconscious.

“What is he doing?”

“His heart is gonna burst!”

“He will never be the same!”

“His stomach will be burning for the rest of his life!”

“He don’t care! I’m telling ya!”

“James! Don’t do it!” Jessie yelled fearfully.

Her partner stopped but he still held the plate of curry in his hands. “Jessie,” he started solemnly. “Everything I did, I messed them up. I want to make up for every mistake I did by finishing off this curry and win that prize money… if I don’t make it, Jessie, I want you to remember me of how a big idiot I was.”

Tears streamed down the eyes of every man, woman, male pokemon and female pokemon in the audience, showing their appreciation and sympathy towards James, apart from Meowth who still unconscious.

“Brave man… brave man.”

“I will always remember this.”

“He is the bravest man I have ever known.”

“His name will live on forever.”

“Okay,” Jessie replied a bit dully.

James lifted up his plate and opened his mouth, pouring every single drop of curry into it. He shook, withstanding the fiery heat the curry is giving him. “Yes,” James thought to himself. “All I need to do is swallow it…”

“Oh! We have a winner!” the announcer yelled excitingly.

James spat out all the curry out of his back onto his plate before his mouth, yelping out in pain while tears came flowing out of his eyes.

It turned out that the winner was a man wearing a leather jacket, jeans, pair of sunglasses and bandanna around his head, all black. He was removing some of food stuck in his teeth with a toothpick. Accompanying him was a little yellow baby mouse with a nametag signed ‘Jerry’ on his collar, who was eating a small slice of cake called Strawberry Surprise.

“That was some good curry that, Jerry,” the man said coolly after letting out a relaxed sigh. “You should try it sometime.”

“(Meh. I hate the stuff, Black Jack),” Jerry squeaked casually.

“Congratulations, Black Jack! You’ve won the contest!” the announcer yelled happily.

“Contest?” Black Jack asked, looking at the announcer in a puzzled way.

A few minutes later, Black Jack was given the cheque of five thousand dollars. Everyone applauded while Team Rocket sulked in the corner of room. “So tell us,” the announcer said into the microphone. “What you going to spend it on?”

With a vacant expression, Black Jack looked the cheque he was given as the top prize of the contest. A few seconds later, he smiled a small smile. “I’m going to give this to a charity called Comic Relief,” he said. “Normally, I spend on money on beer, snacks… and my family.”

He let out a small sigh before continuing. “A lot of guys like me live with their families, related or not related. But then again, there are guys out there, like those in Africa, who don’t because of situations they couldn’t get out of. Some guys lost theirs because of hunger, of dirt and all that kind of stuff.”

The crowd listened closely as he continued. “A lot of us have more benefits, more advantages than others because we got better education, we don’t suffer from anything unless it’s some cold or hay fever, we got better food and drink, and all that kind of stuff. Usually, I’m not the kind of person who helps people out… but I’m gonna give it. And I think you guys should give some of yours too.”

The crowd applauded Black Jack for his generosity while he stood up from his seat. “We also have the second prize of one thousand dollars,” the announcer said. “Where’s James?”

“Here I am!” James cried gleefully as he and his friends dashed over to him, grabbing the cheque from his hand.

“So, what are you gonna spend it on?” the announcer asked.

James became startled by the question. He remembered everything Black Jack said in his speech about the charity event. He slowly turned around, now looking at the faces of every person and pokemon in the room, who looking back at him with happy faces. Jessie and Meowth had their fingers crossed behind their backs, hoping that James would say the right thing. “I’ll donate it to Comic Relief too!” he cried.

“Great!” the announcer said. “I’ll take the cheques and take them to the bank.”

“You better,” Black Jack said as he handed over the cheque. “Or else I’ll have you eating a specialty of mine… a knuckle sandwich.”

“Bad joke number 104,” Meowth mumbled nervously.

“Yes sir,” the announcer said cheerfully before turning towards Team Rocket. “May I take your cheque?”

“Oh… er… we thought that we take it to the charity ourselves,” James said before catching a cold and deadly glance from Black Jack. “I mean… sure,” he said, changing his reply as he gave the cheque away, much to his team mates dismay.

“NO-O-O-O!!” they yelled in horror. They yelled so loud that almost the entire world heard it.

In the end, they end up with nothing as they sadly walked down a lonely road in a nearby forest while the sun set in the sky. They shouldn’t worry; every person in need of help will get some. Maybe they will too… maybe.


Please keep in mind that the money donated were fictional. No money was actually donated. ^^;

But yes, what Black Jack said. I could say the same thing but I’d be repeating everything he said and what I said in the past comedy one-shot here. The people out there are in desperate need for your help. Here the links for more info.

Overall, donations are encouraged!