[GAME] Twisted Wishes v.10 (LV Approved)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, next they grow wings and fly off, just in time when you try to pick the berries.

I wish TPM members could all be superheroes.

[Fett One]

Granted, all 13,310 members become superheros but with so many heroes and no villains to fight, the heroes all begin fighting each other.

I wish to be able to communicate with all animals.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You become the next Dr. Dolittle, and end up having to communicate with skunks more than any other animal.

I wish I couldn't be angered or frustrated by anything or anyone.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you become unable to show any emotions at all.

I wish Finns were better at playing football.

[Fett One]

Granted, Finns become better at playing American Football

I wish the next Superman movie uses a villain other than Lex Luthor and General Zod.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. The villain ends up being the Whammy from Press Your Luck, who steals everything needed to make the movie, causing it to be cancelled as it ends up having no chance to happen.

I wish there was a place near me where I could pan for real gold.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you can pan for real gold in the nearest river. But, for some odd reason, the pan costs real gold in the shop and you would have to pan for real gold first to purchase the pan.

I wish people understood me better.

[Fett One]

Granted, people understand you perfectly but you lose the ability to understand people.

I wish everyone on Earth spoke the same language so there wouldn't be any communication issues.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, everyone ends up speaking in gibberish.

I wish that no state in the United States had any laws unique to it (e.g. New Jersey has a law against pumping your own gas).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but for the sake of variation and different opinions, the laws change daily and nobody can keep track of what is right at the moment.

I wish to win Yami Yugi in a duel.

[Fett One]

Granted, but by beating Yami Yugi, you end up gaining Seto Kaiba as an enemy for the rest of your life.

I wish the entire world could go one entire week a year without a single death.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but no babies are born during that week each year.

I wish that the police had bubble gum shooters to use on criminals who try to flee from then.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but some hungry policemen eat all the bubble gum and everyone knows you even shouldn't eat bubble gum.

I wish there was an alternate ending for Code Geass Season 2.

[Fett One]

Granted, but the alternate ending has Lelouch's father succeeding in taking over the world and Lelouch is powerless to do anything about it.

I wish to see a battle between Iron Man and a Gundam.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but that happens to be a Pokemon battle, and since neither of them are Pokemon trainers, they end up using only one Metapod each in this boring battle.

I wish I could challenge Knight of Time to a game of Blokus.

[Fett One]

Granted but both of you play such a defensive game that it ends in a draw.

I wish all Pokemon would gain the ability to speak so we can finally understand them.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but as a result all Digimon end up only being able to say their name, losing their ability to digivolve in the process.

I wish there were more all-or-nothing game shows where losing contestants would win absolutely nothing.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but the winners and losers are always the same persons.

I wish I could vote in the USA Presidential Election 2020.

[Fett One]

Granted, but you lose the ability to vote in all Finnish elections.

I wish the X-Men would succeed in creating world peace for mutants.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but they only succeed in creating world peace for mutants from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe, including the TMNT themselves.

I wish I had a cell phone whose bill would be paid by Donald Trump every month without him knowing about it.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but Joe Biden pays my phone bill so Biden is unable to afford his own election campaign giving Donald Trump an easy win in the election.

I wish to become a Presidential Election Debate Moderator.

[Fett One]

Granted, you become a presidential moderator in China but since they have a president for life, you have a long wait until you get to do a debate.

I wish Darth Stewie gets to team-up with Darth Vader to fight rebels.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but in the middle of the battle, Darth Stewie ends up turning back into Stewie, enraging Darth Vader, who kills him for copying him.

I wish Joe Biden was already the next president of the United States.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but due to a laboratory accident, a single virus particle gets enlarged about 1,000,000,000 times. Fortunately, a virus that big is not harmful to any living being on earth. Unfortunately, that virus hasn't got anything else to do, so it starts a campaign to run for the president of the United States of AMERICA replacing BOTH Trump AND the newly-elected Biden.

I wish people stopped cracking jokes about serious things.

[Fett One]

Granted but now the world is a far more depressing place to live.

I wish for a Captain America/Batman team-up movie would get made.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but the team-up soon goes south when Red Skull and The Joker trick the heroes into believing the other is evil, causing them to end their team-up and fight each other instead.

I wish I had enough chocolate bars composed of 100% cacao to ensure that their endorphin producing properties keep me indefinitely happy with life.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. On top of that, you are no longer allergic to peanuts either! Too bad after 150 years of perfectly happy life, you are reborn into the Peanuts world and as Charlie Brown, who fails in everything he does.

I wish Nils Torvalds (the father of Linus Torvalds, who created Linux) was the President of Finland instead of Sauli Niinistö.

[Fett One]

Granted, but he switches the operating systems for all of the computers in the country to Linux, which causes compatibility issues with the rest of the world, causing the economic collapse of Finland.

I wish to have unbreakable skin.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, all the holes in your skin disappear, so you lose your mouth, nostrils, among other vital organs.

I wish I never had to speak Swedish again.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but as a result you lose your ability to speak.

I wish that the Houston Astros would be renamed the Houston CHEATERS for the rest of their existence.

[Fett One]

Granted, the whole franchise is disbanded an hour after the name change but the next day, a new franchise is created to replace it called, the Houston Astros.

I wish horror movies were less scary.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but as a result superhero movies become super scary and especially the new Amazing Spider-Man movie will scare the heck out of you.

I wish to be able to sing beautifully.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but your newfound singing ability causes you to sing non-stop, causing people around you to eventually get tired of hearing you sing.

I wish I could fix the H key on my laptop without removing the top part of the key or needing to take my laptop to someone who specializes in repairing laptops (just for the record guys, having to use an alternate strategy right now to make the letter H is a bit of an annoyance for me).

[Fett One]

Granted but the solution requires you to break the J key.

I wish to be able to get a Playstation 5 tomorrow.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Tomorrow never comes. Let's use the prisoner paradox. Imagine it's Sunday today and you have been sentenced to prison. One week left at maximum. You have been promised to be freed during the same week AND you have been promised to have PlayStation 5 on the very same day. Unfortunately the guard says you won't know which day of the week you will be freed and handed PlayStation 5. Also, the guard reveals that it won't be until the same morning you will be told 'you're free and given PlayStation 5 today'. Now comes the fun part. You can say you cannot have PlayStation 5 on Saturday, because then you'd know already on Friday Evening that you will have PlayStation 5 on Saturday. You cannot have PlayStation 5 on Friday either, because then you'd know already on Thursday Evening that you will have PlayStation 5 on Friday. You cannot have PlayStation 5 on Thursday either, because then you'd know already on Wednesday Evening that you will have PlayStation 5 on Thursday. You cannot have PlayStation 5 on Wednesday either, because then you'd know already on Tuesday Evening that you will have PlayStation 5 on Wednesday. You cannot have PlayStation 5 on Tuesday either, because then you'd know already on Monday Evening that you will have PlayStation 5 on Tuesday. This means you never get a PS5.

I wish someone granted a wish using even more words than this one.

[Fett One]

Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again. Granted but the wish is granted by repeating the same sentence over and over again.

I wish Crash Bandicoot would do a crossover game with Mario, Sonic, and Master Chief.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. The crossover game ends up being the next Super Smash Bros. game, but Crash Bandicoot ends up being the weakest of all the fighters in the game, meaning he would go down in battle very quickly unless the person controlling him was very, VERY skilled at the game.

I wish I could go inside Donald Trump's head and re-wire his brain so that he would no longer have such a huge ego.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. You are now stuck inside Donald Trump's head and can't get out.

I wish my fellow Finns weren't so afraid of Russia.

[Fett One]

Granted but now they are terrified of anyone that doesn't speak Russian.

I wish for some snow (1-2 inches) for the holidays.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. A couple of inches of snow end up falling in your backyard, but when you go outside to check out the falling snow, a bunch of boulder-sized snowballs start falling all of a sudden, and they land at the entrance(s) to your house, trapping you outside.

I wish a future Born Loser comic strip would have Brutus Thornapple admitting how stupid he truly is, with his boss Rancid Veeblefester appearing in the comic to pretend to feel sorry for him, only to add more insult to injury for him.