Twisted Wishes v.11 (LV Approved)

[Fett One]

Granted but you achieve this by destroying all of your possessions and killing everyone in your life, so you are left with nothing but yourself.

I wish Dracula would become a force for good and protect the world from monsters.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but he loses his blood sucking ability in addition to his weaknesses being magnified.

I wish future episodes of The Simpsons would no longer have Homer strangle Bart after saying "Why you little!".

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, now Homer strangles Bart without any warning.

I wish to live in Mushroom Kingdom.

[Fett One]

Granted but it's the mushroom kingdom from the movie Sonic the Hedgehog.

I wish to be able to read books at twice the speed that I'm currently reading them.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but your ability to comprehend what you read drops by 50%.

I wish to live in the bronze age.

[Fett One]

Granted, nuclear war breaks out and all of the destruction causes the world to revert back to living like it's the bronze age.

I wish Marvel would make a new Daredevil movie.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, Marvel stops making movies about all of their characters besides Daredevil.

I wish I could work for Marvel.

[Fett One]

Granted, you get a job working for Marvel as a coffee boy, with no chance of promotion.

I wish for a Spider-Man 2099 movie to be made.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, the movie will be situated in Egypt 2099 BC. It features Peter Parker turning into a tiny poisonous spider. Too bad he accidentally stings Wahankh Intef II. Luckily the Pharaoh receives help from Serket, the goddess, and is healed, but as a punishment, Peter Parker is stuck in that form until he finally dies on the 21st of October 2000 BC.

I wish I was better at using computers.

[Fett One]

Granted, you become better at using only the computers from 1984.

I wish to own a working USS Enterprise.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You get a Star Wars themed Battleship game that has a USS Enterprise as the 5 hole ship, but in your first game of Battleship, your opponent sinks it first and goes on to sink all of your other ships without losing a single ship himself.

I wish that futuristic stores were equipped with force fields that would trap and immobilize any thief trying to leave with something they stole from the store.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but those force fields immobilize also paying customers due to greedy shopkeepers.

I wish to become a superhero.

[Fett One]

Granted, you become a superhero in your dreams once a month.

I wish to invent the world's greatest video game console.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but it only works if you put a game from every existing system (also including Japanese systems) in each of its many cartridge and disc slots.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of carbon dioxide cannisters for my SodaStream.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but your SodaStream itself gets broken, as well as all the SodaStreams you buy afterwards.

I wish to rule the universe.

[Fett One]

Granted but your reign only last a few seconds because you are attacked and captured by Skeletor who also wants to be ruler of the universe.

I wish all food tastes like pizza.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but the foods are all mixed together, causing them to all taste like...yuck (aka you probably wouldn't want to taste them).

I wish Donald Trump was trapped in a mirror much like how Sonic and his friends were trapped in them in Archie's comic book adaptation of Knuckles' Chaotix.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, Trump is caught in your mirror, so you see his face every day when you look at yourself.

I wish people respected each other more.

[Fett One]

Granted but people respect themselves even less, leading to a global depression pandemic.

I wish working from home would continue indefinitely.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Working from home becomes the norm, but this defeats the purpose of working from home for people whose homes lack the stuff they need to work (from home).

I wish Facebook had more private groups with tight rules that result in offenders getting the boot if they complain in those groups about rules they broke.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Those who complain will be arrested IRL and sentenced to life imprisonment without any mobile devices or computers or anything they would use to get into Facebook.

I wish to be able to sing Sono Chi no Sadame as good as Hiroaki 'Tommy' Tominaga.

[Fett One]

Granted but you can only sing the one song really good while every other song you sing sounds terrible.

I wish Captain James T. Kirk would wage war against Emperor Palpatine.