Twisted Wishes v.11 (LV Approved)

[Fett One]

Granted but the technology to make his suit doesn't exist yet so in order to survive without it, you must live alone in the arctic.

I wish to become a great cook.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You become a cook who goes cuckoo every time someone disguised as Bugs Bunny sees you cooking something and asks you "What's cookin', doc?".

I wish Mel Blanc and Arthur Q. Bryan would come back to life and make a brand new cartoon short starring Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd, so we could finally find out if it's really wabbit season or duck season.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. It's duck season, but it appears it doesn't mean Daffy Duck, but Finland's former Prime Minister Kalevi Sorsa (Sorsa is Finnish for Duck) and he's nowhere to be found as he died naturally of cancer in 2004.

I wish to become a high elf.

[Fett One]

Granted, you dress up as an elf and smoke some weed becoming a high elf.

I wish Daffy Duck will finally defeat Bugs Bunny.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Daffy successfully gets Elmer Fudd to shoot Bugs, but after Bugs is shot, the smoke clears to reveal two Daffys, except that the unharmed one is really Bugs Bunny in a Daffy Duck costume, with the real Daffy once again, you guessed it, shot instead.

I wish another cartoon character would be introduced that would be prone to sneezing, like the Tiny Toon Adventures character Sneezer the Mouse, and of course, Sneezy from Snow White.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but the cartoonist puts so much character development into the character that the character is cured of this habit after one tv episode only.

I wish Sailor Moon was more popular here in Ylivieska.

[Fett One]

Granted, it becomes so popular that it's the only show that airs on every channel 24/7.

I wish for a new Transformers cartoon based on the original cartoon.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. The original Transformers cartoon is revived with some new episodes made, but with an all-new voice cast.

I wish there was a store with various candies each costing no more than 10 cents per candy, with the price gradually decreasing for getting several types of candies.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but all those candies have so much sugar in them that you have to run to the dentist 200km/h.

I wish to become an archeologist.

[Fett One]

Granted, but it takes you 50 years to get your degree, at which point you are begin retirement.

I wish for a crossover between Star Trek and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but the crossover starts to wane after the Turtles get a little too used to being in space and begin to miss living in the sewers.

I wish Spongebob and Patrick would get smarter so that Squidward would not hate them (as much).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Now Squidward hates them because they are too smart.

I wish I had The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

[Fett One]

Granted but your copy of the game has a virus on it, which causes any Switch it is connected to to malfunction, leaving you unable to play the game.

I wish for a Legend of Zelda game that has you play as Zelda instead of Link.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You get the only copy of a Game Boy remake of Zelda's Adventure for the CD-I, but after saving the game for the first time, turning it off, then turning it back on, a major glitch prevents you from playing the game again.

I wish The Great Wakkorotti would release an album of his performances.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but this time his performances aren't based on any actual compositions so they sound very odd.

I wish Finland scored more goals in the ongoing ice hockey game against Germany.

[Fett One]

Granted but Finland had to result to using performance enhancing drugs to pull this off, which also caused them to be disqualified.

I wish for an action adventure game where you play as a Minotaur.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. A new Pokemon game comes out introducing a Pokemon called Minotaur, but it ends up looking nothing like the mythological creature.

I wish every video game and computer game had at least one available walkthrough each to help any players who get stuck trying to figure something out in a game.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but when you're truly stuck in a part of a game the walkthrough says: "check this webpage", and when you enter the url in your browser, it says: "page not found".

I wish to witness a meteor.

[Fett One]

Granted, you watch as the meteor falls from space and collides into your house, destroying it, thus leaving you homeless.

I wish the next Zelda game will allow Link to talk.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Link's each line will contain 1,000,000,000 words, and he speaks very slowly. You can't skip any line, neither can you speed up the game, not even with an emulator.

I wish I could memorize peoples' names faster.

[Fett One]

Granted, you can memorize people's names instantly but you it know takes you years to remember their face.

I wish the internet was free for everyone to use.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but it ends up costing money to use social media, with the cost increasing the more that social media is used.

I wish I was more of an autism expert than the people who work with me on Mondays and Fridays (who are all autism experts).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Their knowledge on autism decreases to nothing, whilst you still know a little bit.

I wish people weren't categorized by their mental diagnosis.

[Fett One]

Granted, instead people are categorized by their hairstyle.

I wish for a remaster of the Star Wars video game, Shadows of the Empire.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but in the middle of development, a Star Trek fan joins the team, and makes the game into a Star Trek game instead of a Star Wars game.

I wish I could teach any animal how to burp loud so that a documentary could be made to see which animal's burp is the loudest.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but Barney Gumble enters the competition and makes it invalid since he is a human being.

I wish I could live in Springfield.

[Fett One]

Granted, you move to Springfield, Florida just in time to be deported for being an immigrant, even though you are their legally.

I wish GameStop manages to remain in business for the next 50 years.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but they are forced to stop selling video games after being found guilty of selling pirated copies of those games.

I wish two different kinds of fruits could have their seeds planted together in order to make a hybrid of the two fruits.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but on the contrary to ordinary fruits, these fruits eat people.

I wish to enter Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

[Fett One]

Granted, you manage to get in but get caught and have your memory erased, so you have no memory of ever getting inside. This leads to you wishing to get in all over again.

I wish the next Flash movie stars Grant Gustin.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but later on in the movie, a new villain emerges and robs The Flash of his speed, causing him to have to turn to other fast characters like Speedy Gonzales, Sonic the Hedgehog, and the Road Runner to help him regain his speed.

I wish the price of gas would decrease more often in the future than increasing in price.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Jussi Halla-aho becomes the Prime Minister of Canada and he also makes Church Slavonic the only official language in your country! There's more, he replaces André Tourigny as the coach of your National Hockey Team Coach. His team faces Finland in the 2024 Ice Hockey Finals and you guys almost beat us but unfortunately in the crucial moment he calls for a time-out, starts writing some Cyrillic alphabet on the flip chart but he forgot to teach the players to read ancient Cyrillic alphabet! Due to the confusion, your team loses and Jussi Halla-Aho hijacks a brand new gas space rocket (does Canada even have Space Program?) and uses all your gas to fly to Mars and his political opponents are happy because they finally got rid of him except you because he, as I said, used all gas available in Canada.

I wish that twist didn't go overboard.

[Fett One]

Granted, your twist backfires and causes Finland to loose all of its gas.

I wish for a new Mission Impossible tv show.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but it becomes an impossible mission (sorry, I couldn't resist).

I wish I knew what it would be like if an already twisted wish was twisted a second time.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but it accidentally creates an endless loop where the same wish gets repeated ad infinitum.

I wish to meet the woman of my dreams tomorrow.

[Fett One]

Granted, but she only exists in your dreams, every other Thursday.

I wish for a Terminator/Robocop team-up movie.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but like in the Robocop vs Terminator games, Robocop is forced to fight the Terminator when he goes rogue early on.

I wish I could turn any tyrant in the world into a rattle for a giant baby to play with.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but the poor baby chokes on a Kim Jong-Un toy.

I wish Gary Oak posted more at TPM.

[Gary Oak]

Granted, but my increase in posts is gonna be temporary because I can't always visit a Pokemon Center to use one of their computers, or my own house.

I wish I knew what happened to my cheerleaders.

[Fett One]

Granted, they abandoned you to become Ash's cheerleaders.

I wish Professor Oak would marry Ash's mom so he can become Ash's step-dad.