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Thread: The Punchy Punchy Pokemon (children's edition of "Guilty by Design")

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  1. #1

    Default The Punchy Punchy Pokemon (children's edition of "Guilty by Design")

    This stemmed from an idea when my older sister said that "the punchy Pokémon" sounds like a children's book title. This is dedicated to Pants Master. Since I'm never going to finish that story, this may give away some future events. Sort of. This is meant to be real short and weird. I need to illustrate this... Champ is a Hitmonchan by the way, for those of you who didn't read Guilty.

    THE PUNCHY PUNCHY POKéMON.

    Champ is a punchy punchy Pokémon. He has to punch very much. He loves Rick, but Rick is mean to him. Poor Champ :*(. Rebecca likes Champ but he scares her because he is so punchy punchy. Champ was punchy to her kittens. Champ was punchy to Aya. Champ was punchy to all of his opponents.

    Champ is a punchy punchy Pokémon. But one day he did not punch as much as he should. Champ lost a fight and he was replaced that night. Champ loves Rick but Rick did not love Champ. Rick had a new partner. Champ got mad. Champ was punchy to the Primeape, he punched very much. But he also punched Rick. Rick was mad, Champ was sad. Now Champ is alone and doesn't feel like being punchy punchy. He won't even munch a crunch.

    Champ is a punchy punchy Pokémon. But Champ did not eat so he got weak and he could not punch so much. He almost died and he always cried. Champ was mad and sad. Will Champ ever get better? Will he get well? Will he get his vengeance and make Rick go to hell? Only time will tell!

  2. #2
    Banned
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    Default Re: The Punchy Punchy Pokemon (children's edition of "Guilty by Design")

    Originally posted by Iveechan
    Will Champ ever get better? Will he get well? Will he get his vengeance and make Rick go to hell? Only time will tell!
    What a children's book...

    Anyways, I thought the original Guilty by Design was a tad bloody, and I think the Children's Edition is great. I still enjoy reading books written in a kind of rhyming "Cat in the Hat" style. I actually got said at the end when Champ "almost died and always cried." And "He won't even munch a crunch." made me laugh. I hope you illustrate it. With cute, kiddy pictures
    added, it'd be great. And publishable.

  3. #3
    Elite Trainer
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    Default The Punchy Punchy Pokemon (children's edition of "Guilty by Design")

    Umm... cute. I think that rhyming really makes this story cute and kiddy-like. It's just such a change from GBD. Not in a bad way, but it's really interesting how you pulled that off.
    mistysakura
    2007 Golden Pens: Co-winner of Best Poem (Rain Eternal) and Best Reviewer
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    Former 3-time winner of Most Dedicated Reader at the Fanfiction Forums
    Also Keeper of the 'A'ctivator Unown

    Brimstone Diamonds. The Artist. Tightrope. Solitude. Autopsy.
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    Listen to Rain Eternal -- a song.

    Random thought: 2+2=5.

  4. #4
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    Default The rhyme makes this fic shine...

    This story is good, I read it twice.
    Champ was punchy with fire, thunder, and Ice.

    Rick treated him badly, but he gave his all.
    But he was discarded when he took a fall.

    Where was the love that this pokčmon needed.
    It's place in his heart was where sadness was seeded.

    Your new incarnation may better convey.
    A heart-wrenching tale of a fighter astray.

    I'm getting off topic and inspiration is coy.
    Just want you to know that this rhyme pleased this boy.


    ~Legend~

  5. #5

    Default The Punchy Punchy Pokemon (children's edition of "Guilty by Design")

    Yeah, I only kind of halfassed rhymed, heh. You did better than me .

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