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Thread: The fire ball league

  1. #1

    Default The fire ball league

    I know most of you have read my fics and don't know who the heck Steve and Peri are; this fan fic will clear up everything. (hopefully) I’ve separated them in sagas. The Steve saga and The Peri saga. They’ll be in the same thread though. Anyway, to make sure you don’t fall asleep, here’s the fic.

    We find our heroes in pallet town, and Ash is playing pokemon yellow in Prof oaks computer. Tha've been though allot, The indigo league, The orange league, The jhoto league, Misty leaving, Haruka joining, The houin league, Misty coming back and Haruka leaving to become a gym leader.

    "Nice game, but I can't seem to play it right, I think I'm better at pokemon training in real life than on pokemon yellow," said Ash.

    "I can certainly see that," said Prof. Oak.

    “So, are there any more pokemon leagues for me to beat?” Said Ash, being cocky.

    “Well, there is one,” said Prof. Oak. “It’s called, The Fire Ball league, it’s one of the toughest pokemon leagues ever. But that’s never stopped you has it?” Said Prof. Oak.

    “Nope,” said Ash.

    “Another journey, already? But we just recently got here!” Complained Misty.

    “Don’t worry, Misty, we’ll set off tomorrow,” said Ash.

    “Oh, ok,” said Misty.

    End chapter. Steve isn’t in it yet cuz this is just the beginning.

  2. #2

    Default Chaptuh 2

    Here’s chapter 2.

    The next day, they set off on there adventure.

    “Uuhh, Ash?” Said Misty.

    “What?” Said Ash.

    “We don’t even know ware we’re going!” Said Misty.

    “Oops, well we’d better go back to professor Oaks lab and ask him ware the first gym is,” Said Ash. Misty and Brock sweat drooped. When they got back there, Prof. Oak gave them a map ware the first one is. It was some ware in Oviedo FL. 1 hour later they were at the Oviedo pokemon center.

    “So, you’re here to register for the fire ball league?” Said the Nurse Joy there.

    “I shore am," said Ash.

    “Then I’ll need your pokedex,” said Nurse Joy. Ash handed Nurse Joy his houn league pokedex. Nurse Joy slid it in to the big computer, and what came out was……… THE ORIGANAL POKEDEX! Just like the one Ash had when he first started pokemon training, the shape, the look, the voice everything!

    “Hey, what gives, this looks like the pokedex I started out with,” said Ash, than he checked its voice. “Even the voice!” Said Ash. “Yes, but it’s been upgraded dramatically with new data on some new pokemon and it’s been updated with more data on the pokemon you’ve all ready seen,” said Nurse Joy.

    “First we get our original cloths back, and know a replica of the original pokedex, kewl!” Said Ash. Nurse Joy also gave them a guidebook.

    “Gime!!” Said Brock. “Ooooohhhhhh, aaaaaahhhhhh!” Said Brock, reading the guidebook. Misty and Ash sweat dropped.

    “Thanks for giving me such a lovely book, now I would be honored if you would date me,” said Brock to Nurse Joy. Misty pulled Brock by the ear as usual. Than they walked over to the gym, a few minutes later they got there. Ash, Misty and Brock went in.

    “Hello! Anyone here?!” Yelled Ash. Meanwhile, the gym leader, Steve, was in his room in his house, eating pizza and watching TV. Steve is an average kinda guy with a little spunk, he doesn’t like love stories and soap operas cuz he doesn’t really like boy girl love, in fact, if he sees one kissing scene, he’s gona barf. Anyway getting back to the story, a machine next to him alerted him that there was someone in the gym.

    “Now of all times,” said Steve to himself. He quickly finished his pizza and pressed a button on the alert thingy, it teleported him to the back entrance of the gym.

    “Technology, an’t it great?” He said to himself again. He scampered into the back entrance.

    “I don’t think anyone’s here,” said Brock. Just then, a sliding door opened to reveal Steve.

    “I’m Steve, the gym leader, any of you guys come to battle me?” Said Steve.

    “Yes, I have!” Said Ash.

    “What’s your name?” Said Steve.

    “My name’s Ash,” said Ash.

    “Y-you’re Ash?!” Said Steve, surprised. “Now I AM exited about this match!”

    “Huh?” Said Ash.

    “I’ve heard a lot of things about you, how you did good in the indigo plateau, how you won the orange league, how you almost won the johto league and your big win in the houn league. I looked forward to battling you,” said Steve. Steve got out a pokeball. “Prepare yourself, Ash Ketchem, for the toughest battle in your life. BUGGY GO!!”

    “Buggy!” Said the ant pokemon.

    “That thing’s creepy,” said Misty. Ash pointed his pokedex at it.

    “Buggy, the ant pokemon, Buggy live in forests and have a ‘sweet tooth’, Buggy’s types are bug and fighting,” said the pokedex.

    ‘Bug and fighting, huh?’ Thought Ash. He turned his hat back words. “HARACROSS, I CHOSE YOU!!!!!” Said Ash.

    “Haracro!” said Haracross.

    “Before we start there’s one more thing I’d like to tell you,” said Steve.

    “What is it?” Said Ash, curiously.

    “You notice that the ring is slightly above the ground?” Said Steve.

    “Yes,” said Ash.

    “If a pokemon falls out of the ring, it looses, like it would if it was knocked out. As you can see, it’s like the ring in the world martial arts tournament,” said Steve.

    “GAK! Your right!” Said Ash in shock.

    “We’ll use 4 pokemon each, with out further boring you, let the match begin!” Said Steve. The 2 kids began to battle.

    “Haracross, push it out of the ring!” Said Ash. Haracross went to ram Buggy.

    “Buggy, do the same!” Said Steve. They both had rammed and were trying to push each other.

    “Buggy, kick attack!” Said Steve. Buggy did so, surprising Haracross and knocking it out of the ring. Ash recalled Haracross.

    “So, you like to play dirty, huh?” Said Ash.

    “I wasn’t exactly playing dirty, that was just a surprise attack,” said Steve.

    “This guy’s good,” said Brock.

    “TODODILE, I CHOSE YOU!!!” Said Ash.

    “To-do-dah,” Said Tododile beginning to dance.

    “Buggy, antenna beam!” Said Steve. Buggy started to form a beam on its antenna.

    “Antenna beam?” Said Ash.

    “Antenna beam, buggy’s special attack. Buggy makes a beam on its 2 antenna and fires it at the opponent. This is the most powerful bug type move,” said the pokedex. Buggy fired it.

    “Taaaaaaahhhh!” said Tododile being hit by the beam.

    “Tododile, hydro pump!” Said Ash. Tododile did so soaking Buggy and knocking it out. Steve recalled buggy.

    “1 down 3 to go,” said Ash cockily. Both of them now had 3 pokemon left.

    “Laugh while you can, you don’t stand a ghost of a chance. Gengar, get out here!” Said Steve. A sliding door opened and his gengar walked in with a peanut butter, jelly, ketchup, mustard, pickle, cheese and eggplant sand witch.

    “Gross!” Said everyone except Gengar.

    “You’re not gona (makes nauseous sounds behind mouth) eat that are you?" Said Misty.

    “Gen, (yes)” said Gengar. Than he ate it. Ash, Misty, Brock and Steve came close to barfing. When gengar finished eating, Steve turned back around and his face turned green, than polka doted, than striped and then plaid. He covered his mouth and ran into the bathroom to, well, you know . When he got back, Gengar stepped into the ring.

    “Before we start this round, Gengar can’t do some of the things that a normal gengar can do,” said Steve. “He can’t: fly, disappear, walk though things and use psychic attacks,” said Steve.

    “That sounds like an easy win,” said Ash.

    “Don’t worry, those disabilities are WELL made up for, my gengar can do much more attacks than a regular gengar. Plus, Gengar is my 3rd 1st pokemon,” said Steve. Before the battle could start, Tododile, playfully, used skull bash on Gengar’s belly, after witch he gave up and ran off the ring.

    “D’OH!” Said Steve.

    “Anything else for me to crush?” Said Ash cockily. Steve started laughing.

    “Now I’ll let lose the pokemon that almost no one gets by, my 2nd 1st pokemon, GO RAI!!!!!” Said Steve. A sliding door opened but a raichu, with a blue tea shirt with a lighting bolt picture on it, busted though the metal wall next to the sliding door.

    “Ya know, you could have just used the door,” said Steve.

    “But what fun is that?” Said Rai.

    “He can talk?!” Said Ash.

    “Yep, and he’s incredibly strong to,” Said Steve. Rai powered up to his maximum level. The pokedex indicated that Rai’s maximum level is, 98,999,999.

    “GAAK!” said Ash.

    “Rai, attack!” Said Steve. Rai flew up like those guys on DBZ and sense he wasn’t given attack instructions, he used blizzard on tododile, blowing it out of the ring. Ash sent out bulbasuar and to make that battle short, Rai used ice beam, flamethrower and thunder bolt at the same time, I.E. big bang.

    “All right, Pikachu, it’s up to you,” said Ash. Pikachu stepped onto the ring. Before the battle could start an apple fell out of Pikachu’s skin pocket on the side of his body. Rai looked at the apple hungrily, the apple rolled off the ring, and Rai, wanting to get it, walked of the ring.

    “D’OH!” Said Steve.

    “All right!!” Said Ash.

    “Ok, time to show you my 1st 1st pokemon!” Said Steve. Another sliding door opened and a small figure appeared.

    “I can’t see it, what is it?” Said Ash pointing his pokedex at the figure.

    “I cannot indicate the pokemon because it is to much in shadow,” said the pokedex. Suddenly, the pokemon launched an electric attack, blowing Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu out of the gym. A few minutes later, Ash was thinking about his next battle with Steve.

    To be continued. Who or what is Steve’s 1st 1st pokemon, find out in the next chapter.

    How did you like that chapter, and here’s a joke:

    Me: What’s the worst thing you can find on a beach picnic?
    Peke: I’m in the dark.
    Me: A sand witch!

  3. #3

    Default The fire ball league

    It's really that bad huh? Aww, let's face it, I suck at fan fic writing.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2002

    Default The fire ball league

    It was intersting, perhaps you could go more indepth with the battles.

  5. #5

    Default The fire ball league

    It's not that you suck...ok...I'll be

    First of all...your storyline is a refried pile of smoldering crap. Think of your storyline, the take Ash and co. and stick your characters in, and pretend it's a pile of cookie dough. Now...there are many people writing this type of fic before you. So they take the cookie dough, and bake it. And everytime someone uses this plot, they take the same cookie dough and bake it, over and over. Now...since the dough has been baked so many times, it's burnt, it's black all over, and it smells like turd. So, your story has been messed up even before you started writing. It's not your fault for this, but many people write fics...and they use this... lack's's long enough...but quality over quantity. For example...

    Suddenly, the pokemon launched an electric attack, blowing Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu out of the gym. A few minutes later, Ash was thinking about his next battle with Steve.

    could be...

    Suddenly, the Pokemon launched an Electric attack from the shadows, the lightning flashing, illuminating with a yellow glow, sparks cracking, flying off of the bolt. The attack hit, causing a gigantic explosion, the impact repelling Ash and co. out of the gym, smoke and smog wafting in the air.

    See. The description makes the attack much more enjoyable to read. Also, leave out the Ash thinking part, it's more dramatic. To keep the reader's attention, you should end with a cliffhanger, make the reader wonder what's going to happen next.

    Also...your spelling should type it in Word and use Spell Check. Anyway...yeah... Add more description and spell check. would be good to find another plotline. Anyway...yeah...

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