Secret Santa for Psi Yamaneko (How sneaky!!)

[Drago]

Yes, yes... 'tis a tragic thing, no? Sorry to disappoint you Psi Yamaneko, I've got nothing extrordinary to offer. I wanted to send you a pic, but when I looked at yours I came upon the realisation that, uh, mine sucked. lol
So instead, a poem.

The Plight of the Knight, aka: Alan's Revenge
by DragoKnight, and a Canadian grandmother named Chloe

It turns out, Psi Yam, that my present’s for you!
I pondered and pondered to what I should do
I checked out your profile, and became rather limp
Just what, exactly, is a pizza pimp?
‘Alright’, I muttered, ‘What’s something Psi enjoys?’
Apparently, it’s psi-beaming girls and boys
My vision was blurring, my memory started to fade
So I checked the last few posts you made

I came upon Yousatsukou, which I dare not spell
Read it over, it turned out quite swell
Took a liking to Alan, and then it struck
I’d make a toy Meowth, with a little luck!

I set down the equipment, without the slightest clue
Just what this little creation could do
My mind ran through many a plan
Could it run like a cheetah, could it talk like a man?
After much debate amongst only me
I decided it do everything, how hard could it be?
I pictured the toy, it didn’t seem bland
There was Alan, with shining eyes quite grand
It would do anything, anything you say
Using batteries of size AA

For many an hour I slaved and I toiled
The harsh winds raged on
The searing sun boiled

Until the moment the product was complete
I sat there for a moment, could not believe this feat
For in front of me, plain in sight
Was the new Alan…which caused much fright

It turned out not quite as I had thought
Looked more like a fierce, fighting bot
Cold metal skin and piercing red eyes
At least I could claim that it would be a surprise
Until, as ‘twere, I got a surprise myself
Alan got up, marched right off the shelf!
Its speed was amazing as it ran through the door
Each metal step left a hole in the floor

I gulped, I had never done anything as bad as this
But then, maybe nobody would notice?
…Putting that aside, it wasn’t that hard
I followed Mecha-Alan to the front yard

I gulped when I noticed the havoc it caused
Flamethrower raging, it looked at me and paused
A malevolent grin crossed its cold hard face
It came at me at a menacing pace
‘I made you!’ I screeched, trying to vent
It produced official disownership from the government
It was now I knew I had to fight back
Go on the offensive, go on the attack!

I charged at it, fists a-flyin’
It opened its mouth, and roared like a lion
I was pushed away, and fell with a slam
Maybe I could still send it to Psi Yam…

Then I remembered its one fatal flaw
It had a dismemberment button on its left paw
Although it escapes me just why it was there
No time for thinking, there’s more story to share

I ran and I ran towards the metal cat
It braced itself like a sumo fat
It raised its fist to blow me away
I pushed the button, and saved the day!

The toy fell to pieces, and I was rather mad
The craftsmanship seemed to be quite bad
Not to mention that’s not quite a dynamic end
Could I add in a Jedi warrior and his friend?

I decided, in all, to keep the story the same
Even if it may seem rather lame
I gaze at the fires Alan caused, quite red
And thought, ‘Maybe I should just write a poem instead!’

Merry 28th of December Christmas, Psi Yam ^^;

[Psi Yamaneko]

Great poem, DragoKnight. ^_^ Makes my little ditties look like rubbish. XD