Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: The Nature of Peace

  1. #1
    Elite Trainer
    Elite Trainer

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    2,623

    Default The Nature of Peace

    The Nature of Peace ~ A Short Story

    *Spring: Butterfree*

    The cocoon split open. A tentative pair of antennae made its way through the narrow gap. All clear, she sensed. The Butterfree poked its head out of its shell. Gradually adjusting to her vision, she gazed at the nesting Pidgey and its young, the little Pikachu taking a bite out of an apple, the Weedle burrowing for some shelter in the cold night. As the Butterfree’s body emerged, she felt the fresh spring air on her skin. Translucent violet wings slipped free effortlessly from their former prison. She spread her wings, floating into the starlit atmosphere. So good to be free again…

    Footsteps. The rustle of boots on autumn leaves. Human. Her wings were not much camouflage. Even blue would offer some protection in the twilight; violet wings, like her own, did the exact opposite. She swiftly concealed herself in a bush, taking care not to disturb its leaves thus giving away her hiding place. She had seen many of the mysterious “trainers”. They never took care not to step on innocent Caterpies. They burned the wood that Furrets relied on to build homes. Yet, this was nothing compared to their haunting, unnatural power. To control Pokémon.

    *Autumn, last year: Caterpie*

    The girl turned to face her prey. “Quick, hide in the tall grass!” the Beedrill whispered frantically. The Caterpie inched away, partly because of her father’s teaching in slipping away from predators. She was afraid of the girl who provoked such a reaction from her father. Yet, as she escaped further and further from the attacker, she felt as unsafe as ever. Never before had the safety of her father’s protection left her.

    The Beedrill stiffened as the girl pulled out a metallic sphere. As the ball enlarged to the size of a fist, seemingly of its own accord, the young Caterpie blinked to make sure her eyes were not deceiving her. If these are the Pokéballs Papa warned me about… oh no. The ball was thrown to the ground, crushing a daisy beneath it. The red beam highlighted the loss of a fragile life, giving the torn petals an unnatural glare. From the light materialized a Pokémon. It glared at the Beedrill, a threatening glare that could have been mistaken for the attack. Its sharp beak let out a call that pierced the dawn. “Fearow…”

    “Empire, Fury Attack!” shouted the girl, determination in her eyes. The Fearow swiftly approached the Beedrill, who tried to dodge, but just wasn’t fast enough. The Fearow’s beak stabbed it once, twice, three times. The Caterpie felt her father wince; the bird had left three deep wounds. The girl ordered a Wing Attack. The Beedrill knew that even if he were not hampered by his injuries, the Fearow was far too fast and powerful for him to try to evade. He tried to concentrate on firing Pin Missiles at his predator, in hope of deterring the assault. He aimed; his focus was weakening… The weak needles dropped to the ground before ever having the chance to scratch their target. Closing in on the Beedrill, the Fearow’s wing slammed into it, its feathers offering no comfort for the blow. The Beedrill crashed to the ground, its wings useless.

    The Fearow’s expression altered; for a second, the Caterpie sensed pity in its eyes. Then why did you hurt my father? “I’m loyal to my trainer,” the Fearow said, gazing at the Beedrill who was too weak to struggle. The moment of sympathy was gone as Beedrill was engulfed in a harsh light and sucked into a Pokéball. The Pokéball was still. The girl picked it up, recalled Fearow, or “Empire” as she called him, and walked off, unaware of the spirit that she was taking away with her; unaware of the fact that a Caterpie had just lost its only family.

    *Spring: Butterfree*

    The footsteps stopped. Had she been discovered? The Butterfree held her breath as she observed the girl’s movements. She stopped to take her pack off, reaching for an apple. She bit into it viciously, as if she had not eaten since the morning. Keep quiet, don’t move, the Butterfree repeated in her head, The girl finished the apple, and threw the core carelessly into the bush. More, specifically, the bush concealing the Butterfree. She squealed “Free!” upon the impact. She hoped it would not be heard… The girl turned around.

    “A shiny Butterfree! I’ll show Lara, she’s always rambling about her Clefable…” The Butterfree froze. She had heard of the existence of some good trainers who treated their Pokémon well, but she was not going to surrender to a girl who only intended to show her off, like a doll. Never. She glanced at the thick bushes surrounding her, their thorns threatening to pierce the wings of anyone attempting to fly through them. She was trapped.

    As the human threw her Pokéball to the ground, the Butterfree recalled her familiar voice, her strong stance and her resolute blue eyes. She was the girl who haunted her dreams every night, as she relived the capture of her father. The Butterfree glared accusingly. Haven’t you done enough damage already? How dare you come back?

    A beam of light shot out of the Pokéball, and the Butterfree rapidly cast her mind back to reality. She had to escape, and there were two paths; she could zoom directly towards the enemy and hope to dodge around her, but she felt it was a bit suicidal. The only other way was straight up. Just as the Pokémon become visible, the Butterfree shot upwards. The wind was now her foe; sharp leaves blew in her way, and the formerly pleasant breeze now fought against her wings. As she neared the top of the canopy, a yellow blur whizzed past. A split second later, she found herself crashing into the Pokémon. For a moment, she lost her balance and started falling, but she regained stability and looked into the eyes of her opponent. She took in a sharp breath in recognition. Despair, anger, guilt, joy and utter confusion invaded her mind. Her thoughts hurtled to the rhythm of the hammering of her heart. But it can’t be… I thought he was gone forever.. let me go… why are you blocking me! Dad…

    “Toxinfuse, Twineedle!” The Beedrill’s stinger automatically filled with poison. He faced his opponent. I can’t do this… He started flying straight at his daughter., who was frozen in shock. But I can’t hurt her… He pointed his stinger at his most beloved in the world. STOP IT! The Beedrill halted, but could not prevent his body from wounding her once, twice. He could not disobey his master’s direct orders.

    The Butterfree felt her first real wounds. Her injuries, exposed to the air, brought freezing pain. Yet, they were of little importance to her. Dad… How could you? Are you Toxinfuse now? Has your old self been killed? Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them away. No time to feel sorry for myself now.

    The Butterfree realized that the effects of Harden would not last forever. Focusing on the Beedrill, she conjured up a String Shot. This isn’t right. I can’t. But I can’t get captured either. Besides, he isn’t being nice either, is he? She fired the web of sticky string at her father. At the moment of impact, the Butterfree’s heart felt a pang. She immediately regretted her decision. I hate these battles. Hurting Pokémon for no reason… at least the hunting Pidgeotto only fight to survive.

    As the web bound the Beedrill, he made no effort to break through. “Run!” he yelled. His daughter looked up, her eyes brimming confusion.

    “What are you doing, Toxinfuse? Break through that thing! Fury Attack!” The Beedrill shook its head and broke free of the fragile threads. As the Butterfree soared away from the bushes, hoping to reach the sky, her father rapidly caught up. Fury Attack… the move of the enraged. The Beedrill could not evade the speed of the attack, nor its power. Yet, he could use direction to his advantage. He butted into the Butterfree from below, sending her flying towards her destination. In pursuit, he hit her again and again. She winced in pain. “Just one more now, and you’ll be free…” The Beedrill ploughed into the Butterfree’s wing upon his last hit. The delicate wing was pierced, rendering it useless. He realized the consequence of his actions, too late. He glided with the Butterfree as she fell to the ground, guarding her fall. That was all he could do.

    Without warning, a Pokéball was hurled at the Butterfree. Upon impact, she staggered backwards. A tingling feeling streamed throughout her entire body. All of a sudden, darkness loomed before her. Before she could assemble her thoughts, she was zapped into the Pokéball.

    Let me out… You can’t keep me in here! The Pokéball rocked on the grass as the desperate Butterfree struggled. She felt her whole body collide with the walls of the Pokéball, draining her energy. The Pokéball did not give way. This isn’t working… “Keep going, girl, you can do it!” shouted the Beedrill from outside. Upon hearing her father’s words, her resolution was formed. I can’t give up. I won’t be captured, no matter what. Mustering all her strength, she attacked her prison again. The Pokéball shook, temporarily disorienting the Butterfree, but it was as strong as ever. She panted, then hit the barrier again. Never before in her life had she been so exhausted. She managed one more feeble knock, which could not shake the Pokéball, let alone break it. She fell to the floor of her confinement. I hate you.

    The Pokéball started to still. Grief filled the Beedrill’s heart. It was all his fault; he was the attacker who put her in such a state. He shook his head. No, it’s not my fault. He called out to his daughter, “Remember, they may be able to control our actions, but they will never control our hearts.”

    *Ping*.
    ___________________

    Whoa I wrote a Pokemon fic, haven't done that for years. I'm pretty happy with this, except for the main battle, which was seriously dodgy. But whatever.
    mistysakura
    2007 Golden Pens: Co-winner of Best Poem (Rain Eternal) and Best Reviewer
    2007 Silver Pencils: Winner of Best Poem (Death Sonnet -- Untitled)
    2004 Silver Pencils: Winner of Nicest Fanficcer & Least Likely Couple (with PancaKe)
    Former 3-time winner of Most Dedicated Reader at the Fanfiction Forums
    Also Keeper of the 'A'ctivator Unown

    Brimstone Diamonds. The Artist. Tightrope. Solitude. Autopsy.
    Glitter (one-shot).
    Listen to Rain Eternal -- a song.

    Random thought: 2+2=5.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    225

    Default The Nature of Peace

    Danm that was good. It's original and description was very good. There were a couple of spelling/grammer mistakes but only one or two so on the whole very good.

    Are you gonna make it into a big story, cause if you are then that'd be really good, but if you're not, it's a very good piece work.

  3. #3
    Veteran Trainer
    Veteran Trainer

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    The Fanfiction Forum
    Posts
    19,535

    Default The Nature of Peace

    Not bad. The timing of the flashback was good allowing us to see the Butterfree's perspective. However, it seems pretty coincedental for us to see her father's trainer a second time (and a year later), since most trainers move on through woods between towns, in order to have Gym battles, enter contests, etc.

    I like the little parts about the destruction of nature; the stepping on Caterpie, the crushing of a daisy, and of course the captures and battling. It really adds an anti-trainer feel to it, even more than was already present. Good job, in that regard.

    I agree, though, the battles seemed to leave something to be desired. I had to reread the father/daughter match to understand it. But otherwise, you did a good job with this. I won't harp on my usual "continue the fic" rant, because that would probably hurt this fic's beauty, just because of how it was put together. Anyway, it's good to see you actually writing again. (Come to think of it, this may be the first fic I've ever seen you write... h:

    Well, I hope to see more works by you in the future! See you later!


    EDIT: Typed a smiley wrong...
    IT HAS RETURNED.
    THE TPM MAIN SITE.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gavin Luper View Post
    Holy crap ... I'VE become a grammar nazi, too.

  4. #4
    Beginning Trainer
    Beginning Trainer

    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    22

    Default The Nature of Peace

    So Good!!!

    is this going to continue, or is it a once off?

    The obeying trainer rule is new... original... Worked really well!

    Wow! Keep Writing...

  5. #5
    Elite Trainer
    Elite Trainer

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    2,623

    Default The Nature of Peace

    Whee! Replies!
    Everyone: No, this is probably not going to be continued. See where it says "A short Story" up the top? Anyway, I've thought of continuing this, but only if I find a nice plotline. That's a pretty big if.

    mr_pikachu: Hmm... maybe I should have put an explanation as to why she was in the area. And about the battle, I was actually thinking along the lines of shortness and lack of description, but after reading it again, Beedrill's Fury Attack was pretty confusing.

    Thanks everyone for replying!
    mistysakura
    2007 Golden Pens: Co-winner of Best Poem (Rain Eternal) and Best Reviewer
    2007 Silver Pencils: Winner of Best Poem (Death Sonnet -- Untitled)
    2004 Silver Pencils: Winner of Nicest Fanficcer & Least Likely Couple (with PancaKe)
    Former 3-time winner of Most Dedicated Reader at the Fanfiction Forums
    Also Keeper of the 'A'ctivator Unown

    Brimstone Diamonds. The Artist. Tightrope. Solitude. Autopsy.
    Glitter (one-shot).
    Listen to Rain Eternal -- a song.

    Random thought: 2+2=5.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •