Sincerely, [One-Shot]

[Saffire Persian]

This is just a very short one-shot I wrote for a writers' group of mine. Its challenge was that we had to center it around a certain emotion without explicitly saying what it was. This one-shot is not Pokémon, but it's a short story based off the animé movie Byousoku 5 Centimeter aka 5 Centimeters per Second. Despite the fact it's based on that, you do NOT have to have seen the movie to be able to enjoy and understand this one-shot. If you have happened to have seen it, you'll have some background knowledge from the other POVs (a la Kanae's) that isn't especially touched upon here. Comments critique, etc. are greatly appreciated. Rated PG just in case, but I doubt it deserves the rating.

Sincerely,

By: Saffire Persian

Akari,

Do you remember how you told me back in grade school that sakura petals fall at five centimeters per second?

Akari,

The sakura trees are in bloom here in Taganegashima. They’re not as beautiful as the ones we always saw in Tokyo, but I still wish you were here to see them. Are they blooming where you are? I’d like to think that maybe Never mind, it’s not important. How are you?

Akari,

I’ve been having that dream again—the one where we watch as a space shuttle ascends into the sky, to journey into that otherworld and never come back. I often think about what it would be like to go up into space (do you?) and how empty it would be to exist in a place so vast yet so devoid of life. There would be so many secrets and mysteries to discover there in that wide, limitless place, but no one to share it with. No one. It would be just you—you and the rest of the universe.

Akari,

Spring is about to end soon. The petals are falling. It seems like not so long ago they were in full bloom. Everyone here in Tanegeshima is always unhappy to watch the sakura petals drop from the branches at first, but soon they will forget that sadness. They will become used to seeing the sakura trees lifeless and bare and move on, but I won’t. I won’t forget them.

Akari,

If the sakura fall at five centimeters per second, how fast do you think our own lives pass us by?

Akari,

Everyone is talking about what they want to do with their future now. Doctor, artist, actor, but I don’t see myself anywhere. All I see now are memories from a time that I can’t go back to, a book that’s already ended, and no matter how many times I go back and read its pages, the ending is still the same, and I wonder time and time again why.

Akari,

I still remember that night at the train station before where we met each other for the last time. I can still feel the deep chill piercing through my coat as we walked through the white that covered the ground and talked in that shed until the sun rose about everything we weren’t supposed to say and nothing about what needed to be said. You told me you wished it were spring again, and that it was pink petals instead of snowflakes that were falling, grass instead of thick snow that came up to our ankles, birdsong instead of silence. I never told you, but so did I.

Akari,

How fast must I live in order to see you again?

Akari,

I knew what she was going to say. She asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and when I told her I didn’t know, she told me she was the same. She said we had a lot in common, and that she had admired me ever since I moved here and thought I was a good person. I knew what she was going to say then, but she stopped, and I guess thought better of it. I’m relieved, because my answer would have only hurt her. It’s better this way.

Akari,

I’ve been accepted to Tokyo University’s technology program. For the first time in three years I’ll be able to return home. Where are you now? Still in Tochigi? Or have you gone further away? I can hear my parents celebrating my acceptance downstairs, but I can’t bring myself to join them. I know I should be smiling and laughing with them, just like I should be out living the last days of summer with my classmates, but I can’t. What do you think of me now? Do you even wonder what I’m doing? Do you still care?

Akari,

That morning—after that snowy night outside the station—do you remember what you said to me? You said, “You’ll be all right, Takaki-kun, I know you will.” Did you really mean that? Or was it something you felt had to be said? I don’t really know anymore, just like I don’t know why I’m still writing you these letters you’ll never receive, or why I still foolishly believe I’ll some day get an answer.

Akari,

It’s winter again. Tokyo is just like it was when we both lived here: busy, trains screeching across the tracks, men in suits with briefcases in hand, buildings that reach the sky, flashing lights at the crosswalks as thousands of people walk across the street… It’s strange to think that Tokyo has always been this crowded, and that so many different people can exist in such small of a space. But no matter how close these people are, they still seem thousand of miles away. They’re just faces, nothing more.

Akari,

Which one of us stopped writing first?

Akari,

I’ve been dreaming again. It’s not the one with the space shuttle, but you’re still there, in the dream. I see you smiling, and seeing you smile makes me happy, until I realize that I’m not the one that’s there beside you. I see a ring on your finger, and a man that’s not me, and yet you’re happy. Is it selfish of me to wish we could’ve remained young forever? Is it selfish to wish you a different kind of happiness? All I wanted…

Akari,

Even she couldn’t get Tokyo to feel like how it used to be back then.

Akari,

I quit my job. It was too much for me. He wouldn’t let me handle the things the way I wanted to, wouldn’t let me decide how things were supposed to go, so I quit. I’m foolish, aren’t I? Stupid. A man with no future who wastes his nights away in bars and spends his days in front of a computer screen. Life was supposed to be so much more than this…

Akari,

It’s been nine years.

Akari,

I’ve been visiting the prefecture where we spent our childhood together. I avoided it when I first came to Tokyo six years ago because I didn’t want to see how everything had changed, but I knew that one day my feet would eventually lead me back here. That sidewalk, the library, the restaurant, that old sakura tree in the park? They’re all still there, but different. I guess you can’t stop the places you cherish from changing, just like you can’t stop people you care about from changing, just like you can’t stop time.

Akari,

A text message. From her:

Tohno-kun,

I know none of them said anything, but everyone at your old company are all very sorry that you left. They wanted me to tell you that things just aren’t the same at the company without you here, and I feel the same way. A friend of mine tells me that things are going well at your new free-lance job, and that you seem to be doing better than you were when you left the company. More free. I’m glad. I know the relationship we had together is over, but I still like you, even now. If you feel up to trying again—that is, if you ever need someone, I’m still here.

-Mizuno Risa

I don't know how I should feel. How should I be feeling? It’s been so long since anyone…

Akari,

Memories are all well and good, but that’s all they are, aren’t they? Memories.

Akari,

I saw you.

I didn’t realize it was you at first, but as we passed each other as we walked across the railroad crossing, I felt something. A spark. I sensed that I knew you somehow, from somewhere, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Where?

Then, as I reached the end of the railroad crossing seconds later, I knew.

I stopped, spinning about on my heels, searching for you. Our eyes met. I was about to call your name, but a train flashed across the tracks, cutting off my own voice with its own. I didn’t move, watching the train flicker by, the March sunlight gleaming off its windows. Did you see me? Really see me? Not as another nameless face in the crowd, but as the boy you had shared your childhood years together with? Did you remember?

Another train surged past.

My mind swam.

Were you still there?

Would you be waiting on the other side, like I was?

But then, at that moment I realized that it didn’t matter. It would have been a miracle enough if it really had been you.

I waited.

The train flew.

But still, I hoped you’d be there, looking for me.

You weren’t.

But for the first time, that was all right. For the first time, everything was okay.

You hadn’t waited for me, but that was fine. I shouldn’t have ever expected you to wait for me, nor you me--not in this world. That world belongs in fairy tales. Time waits for no one, not even childhood friends. We can’t spend our time continually looking behind our shoulder for a person who won’t always be there. Our lives had the fortune of crossing each other for a time once, and now, for a moment more. If our fates somehow allow us to meet again, I’ll be grateful.

But for now, seeing you—even it wasn’t you—is enough.

Sincerely,

[mistysakura]

I really like it. (Although it took me a while to catch on that Akari was the girl, hehe.) You portrayed the narrator's longing and eventual release very well. The letters which consisted of only one sentence worked particularly well in reflecting the bottled-up emotions and restraint. And I liked the sketches of setting; they provide enough poetic detail without turning a letter into an essay. The one thing that I personally didn't like was the lack of originality in places. For example, the sakura and the scene where Akari is married to some other man are... overused, in my opinion. Maybe I've watched too much anime. Although you did spice up the sakura using the 'five centimeters a second' thing.

I enjoyed that. Oh yeah, and I like how Tohno doesn't use his name at the end. It's like he's decided that it doesn't matter if Akari never remembers his name again. Good job.

[firepokemon]

I still remember that night at the train station before where we met each other for the last time. I can still feel the deep chill piercing through my coat as we walked through the white that covered the ground and talked in that shed until the sun rose about everything we weren’t supposed to say and nothing about what needed to be said. You told me you wished it were spring again, and that it was pink petals instead of snowflakes that were falling, grass instead of thick snow that came up to our ankles, birdsong instead of silence. I never told you, but so did I.

For some reason that bit really bothers me. Everything else was easy to read but this particular bit you had to freeze and re-read it a few times. Well I did anyway.

Also if you ever decide to revisit it I would perhaps look at changing some of the language so that we sense that time has passed. Perhaps look at some type of way of making the dialogue become more mature?

Otherwise I really liked it, nice and short which I always like. Interesting concept, I just wish I would go and watch this 5cm per second film, it sounds really good.

Edit: Now that I think about it, rather than making the language more mature towards the end as time goes past, I think you could play with the first few lots. Because this person is in love and its obviously not been long you could play with the language as being soppy and giddy, perhaps use some language that would signify someone young being in love. Just a thought.

[Saffire Persian]

I really like it. (Although it took me a while to catch on that Akari was the girl, hehe.) You portrayed the narrator's longing and eventual release very well. The letters which consisted of only one sentence worked particularly well in reflecting the bottled-up emotions and restraint. And I liked the sketches of setting; they provide enough poetic detail without turning a letter into an essay. The one thing that I personally didn't like was the lack of originality in places. For example, the sakura and the scene where Akari is married to some other man are... overused, in my opinion. Maybe I've watched too much anime. Although you did spice up the sakura using the 'five centimeters a second' thing.

I enjoyed that. Oh yeah, and I like how Tohno doesn't use his name at the end. It's like he's decided that it doesn't matter if Akari never remembers his name again. Good job.

Yeah. ^^ There's some things, I guess, where background from the anime itself would come in handy. Did the sakura get overdone? They are a very prominent thing in the movie, and their presence often got repeated--perhaps I mimicked that too much? I was trying to follow the movie's storyline closely and getting details across that were in the movie but needed to be given in a different way. (Such as Akari being married). Perhaps I should've thought of a better way to do it. I did wonder, though, if I was using the sakura too much. I ended up cutting out one instance. Thanks for pointing that out.

firepokemon

For some reason that bit really bothers me. Everything else was easy to read but this particular bit you had to freeze and re-read it a few times. Well I did anyway.

Hmm? Is it? When I do go back over it, I'll definitely have to see if I can simplify it somehow.

Otherwise I really liked it, nice and short which I always like. Interesting concept, I just wish I would go and watch this 5cm per second film, it sounds really good.

Edit: Now that I think about it, rather than making the language more mature towards the end as time goes past, I think you could play with the first few lots. Because this person is in love and its obviously not been long you could play with the language as being soppy and giddy, perhaps use some language that would signify someone young being in love. Just a thought.

The movie can actually be readily found on your..uh.. usual "places" if you know what I mean. Anyway, I can see what you're saying with simplifying the language. I wasn't sure about me making it more "mature", but making the first bit sound younger would definitely work, though "soppy and giddy" wouldn't be the way to do it in this story. Takaki isn't that sort of person, he's always melancholy and contemplative through the whole movie. Thanks for your suggestions though! It's nice to know what I could do better.

[firepokemon]

Yes no soppy and giddy just some wrong don't they? lol.