<(Game)> Whack-a-TPMer (Lady Vulpix Approved)

[kitsun]

Welcome to the first of what hopes to be many exiting rounds of Whack-a-TPMer.

The rules are simple:

The object of the game is to "whack" as many different users that participate in the game and score as many whacks as possible.

to 'whack' someone, one must simply post who they are whacking and how they want to whack them.

I whack Bob; *SuperwhacKs Bob; *stomps Bob into the ground; are all acceptable whacks.

You may only whack those who have posted here. So, no sign-ups are necessary.

Here are the rules:

1) No Doublewhacks: you cannot whack the same person twice in a row.

2) No Backwhacks: you cannot whack a person that has whacked you until they have been whacked.

3) The Rule of Three: once a person has been whacked, that person cannot be whacked until three other people are whacked.

4) No Multiwhacks: only one whack per post, please.

5) No Rapidwhacks: you cannot whack multiple times in a row as per the double posting rule.

After a predetermined number of pages, I will tally up scores. Various "Awards" can be gleaned, such as:

Whack Champion: had the most variety of whacked users

Whackiest Whacker: awarded to the user with the most hilerious whack, as determined by poll.

Most Elusive Whack: awarded to the user that was whacked the least amount of times

I will create graphics for the awards as they are awarded.

This Round will last until the 121st post..

EDIT: Clarified ending of round 1.

[Mega Horny]

*Pours boiling water all over Kitsun, and throws his flailing carcass into a barrel of asbestos.*

[Inferno_Dragon]

I whack Mega Horny. *ties Mega Horny up with various types of meat and throws Mega Horny into the Lion Den and watchs his entire body get devoured by hungry lions.*

Not the ingenious but it is simple for my first Whack-a-TPMer.

[Blademaster]

Well, we've had two tosses so far... How about an actual 'whack' this time?

(whacks Inferno Dragon in the groin with a live pirahna)

^^

[Hinoryu]

Well, since I'm an IRC junkie, I might as well.

* Hinoryu slaps Blademaster around a bit with a large trout.

[kitsun]

WHAM! WHAMWHAMWHAM!!!

*Kitsun picks up his giant club off of the battered, whacked pulp of Mega Horny.

btw, Blademaster, I'll score whacks that dosen't actually use the word whack as long as they are legal and inflict harm to an "opponent".

[The Blue Avenger]

* Hypotenuse Man's Sol Blade lets out a howl! Megiddo!

(Hypotenuse Man leaps into the air amidst a background of flames. He gestures downward, and the sun falls from the sky. It gains more and more speed until it lands directly on top of kitsun... whacking him.)

[Blademaster]

Whack-a-Mod! W00t!

(whacks Hypotenuse Man across the face with a flaming cactus)

[The Blue Avenger]

Heh heh heh... Let's try this.

HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAALP!

*Out of nowhere, the Elite Beat Agents skid up in their surprisingly Batman-esque car. They begin dancing to the tune of Jumpin' Jack Flash... all over Mega Horny, whacking him. Their boss, Commander Kahn, yells 'Mission complete!' as they leave.*

[Hinoryu]

Well, since Hypotenuse Man seems to have the handheld systems covered, let's do this the old-fashioned way.

*Casts Luminaire on Blademaster*

[Blademaster]

Oy! Whack me once, shame on you!

But whack me twice, and I put your ass on ice!

(assumes a fighting stance; body explodes with golden energy as hair stands on end, turning blonde in the process)

"KAAAAAMEEEEE...HAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEE....HAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

(unleashes a beam of fiery anime death on Hinoryu, 'whacking' him into utter obliteration)

[Shadow Wolf]

Hmm, let's see if I can come up with something...I hope that this is legal.


*uses a big hammer to smash kitsun into a "Trou de loup"*

[Hinoryu]

Well, hey, I couldn't help it. There's only so many whackable people thanks to that 'Rule of Three'. Though I think I accidentally violated the Doublewhack rule.

*meanwhile, rollerblades up, and smashes shinypkmnchaser's head in, a la Shonen Bat.*

[kitsun]

*In a flash of light, an item appears from the sky, as SSB. Kitsun picks up the Home Run Bat, and SMASHes Hinoryu, sending him off into the distance.*

Team Hinoryu's blasting off again!

btw, hinoryu, yes you did violate the doublewhack rule, so I can only score one of them.

[Hinoryu]

Eh. Totally worth it. And while I'm at it.

*Displays a Duel Disk of the Battle Earth fic* I sacrifice King's Knight, Queen's Knight, and Jack's Knight to summon the God of Sun Dragon - Ra! *Proceeds to consume Blademaster's soul through fire, death, and phoenix gods.*

[Inferno_Dragon]

Wow, things happen when you step out of the room for a while.

*pulls up in a machine with a wrecking ball. Fires up the machine at full velocity and lets the wrecking ball crash into kitsun. (And if you don't think a wrecking ball is not dangerous, think about it being super powered and having your body being smashed with a wrecking ball that's velocity is so fast that it would probably break every bone in your body ... probably.)

[Blademaster]

(whacks kitsun between the eyes with a moldy tuna sandwich)

[kitsun]

*Kitsun takes an oversized copy of the Rules of Engagement, AKA the Whack-a-TPMer Rules, and Slams Blademaster into the ground like a stake*

(due to the Rule of Three, Blademaster's Whack is null and void, allowing me to whack him. Please see Inferno_Dragon's Post Just above yours, Blademaster. Sorry to be such a prick.)

[Inferno_Dragon]

Okay, time to pull out the big guns.

*a pair of giant guns appears in my hands which causes me to fall on my face.*

Okay, not that big and that's not what I meant.

*transforms into the Nine-Tales fox and starts to rip shinypkmnchaser into a million pieces while splattering blood everywhere.*

If that isn't brutal, then I don't know what is.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*/whack Hinoryu*

*Crazyelfboy whacks Hinoryu*

*type /lol*

Guild [Karune]: LOL

WOW ftw (Crazyelfboy lvl 70 Night Elf Warrior, Burning Legion, PVP)

[darktyranitar]

Oooh! *clutching head in pain* Ahh, I can't take it!

*unleash a powerful psychic blast towards some cars, gathering them to crush at Inferno Dragon until he was reduced to a ball of flesh, before the cars and removed and the said flesh then fell into a pit full of cannibal human*

Phew...

[Hinoryu]

Oh god, a night elf. I'll get you, oh yes I will.

*vents rage on kitsun in the form of a giant dragon, eating him alive.*

[Blademaster]

Well, with my options this limited...

Sorry, Lou.

(casts 'The Day After Tomorrow' -150*F wind at shinypkmnchaser, freezing him solid, then snaps off his head, leaps back, and hurls it at his body, shattering both to shards)

[Blademaster]

EDIT: Self double-posting...? o.O Freaky...

(deletes)

Sorry, guys - carry on. ^^;

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Crazyelfboy runs up and picks up Blademaster cathing him in a sack*
*Tips blademaster into a whack-a-mole game*
*Pulls out a giant PIE mallet*
*Starts whacking Blademaster as he pops out of the holes*


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pie

[Hinoryu]

*Simply has Erebus... well, let's not go there, at Blademaster. And trust me, if you don't know what Erebus is, you are much better off not knowing. No, I'm not talking Greek myth Erebus, that's nothing compared to this one. Let's just say an eternity of meathooks, insanity, and pain await.*

[Shadow Wolf]

Whoa! Careful, that is triple posting.

OK, let's see now...movies. Hmm...

*uses a "Clockstopper's time clock" to make himself ten times faster, then picks up a giant spiked club and hits Hypotenuse Man, sending him into oblivion.*

[Magmar]

*Produces the Moon Scepter and flings it at Hinoryu* >_>; alas, triple posting is painful

[Inferno_Dragon]

*teleports myself and darktyranitar into the Deathmatch rings. Nick Diamond and Johny Gomez introduced us and Miles Lane say that infamous Let's get it on. I start out by kick boxing darktyranitar but somehow he dodges it and hurt my foot against the ring posts. Then he takes out a bat and starts to beat me to death but due to my matrix skills, I only take one of the hits. Then I pulled out a arsenal of sharp weapon and throw it at the darktyranitar's body. All of the pierce his body but darktyranitar laughs anyways. darktyranitar says is that the best you can do? Then I point to the dagger with the explosive seal tag tied to it imbedded in his body (similiar to the one Naruto used on Gaara.) Then darktyranitar explodes causing blood to splatter all around the room. Then I am congradulated by Miles Lane for winning this match.

(Now that is one piece of brutality.)

[Shadow Wolf]

Hmm, it looks like it's sick, so it's time to chop it.

*uses an axe to chop the 10-meter-long coconut palm, then screams*

LOOK OUT, BELOW!!!!!

*The tree falls and smashes Crazy Elf Boy*

...

*quietly leaves the scene*

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

*Produces the Moon Scepter and flings it at Hinoryu* >_>; alas, triple posting is painful

I was going to post a Sailor Moon whack. Mods, delete this post if it's unoriginal.

Magmar has arrived in Finland. When travelling in Haapavesi, Magmar gets caught in a time machine sending Magmar to year 2003. Magmar finds himsel (or herself?) in Haapavesi library, and sees Mikachu Yukitatsu dating a red-haired girl (his only date in his life). Mikachu Yukitatsu says something to the girl, who then walks to Magmar.

The girl produces a normal-looking black pencil and shouts:

MAAAAARITIN KRISTALLIVOIMAA MEIKKI PÄÄLLE!

Before Magmar gets a translation,

MAAAAARIT CRYSTAL POWER MAKE UP!!

Maarit says:

I'm the BiShooJoSenShi of Ai and Seigi, Sailor Maarit! Mikachu Yukitatsu has asked me to punish you in the name of a random planet because you posted the Sailor Moon whack before him! MAARIT AQUA MIRAGE!!

[mr_pikachu]

The cast of Whack-a-TPMer woke up one at a time, slowly and groggily, to find themselves in a schoolroom they'd never seen before.

"Good morning, class," said mr_pikachu once everyone awoke. "Your regular teacher is... indisposed, so I'll be your substitute teacher today."

Blademaster cast a sideways glance toward Hypotenuse Man at the desk next to his. "Since when did we have a teacher?" he whispered to his acquaintance.

"Since when was this even a class?" Hypotenuse Man whispered back.

"I haven't been in a school since I dropped out of kindergarten when I was 11," Blademaster whispered. "I think we ought to just go."

"Yeah," responded Hypotenuse Man. "We just need to rush the guy, beat him senseless, and make our exit. So when I count to three--"

In one smooth, lightning-quick motion, mr_pikachu grabbed a pen from his desk and flung it across the room where it lodged in Hypotenuse Man's forehead. The student's head lolled back as his lips twitched, the end of his sentence forever stuck in his throat. Blademaster could only scream in terror as he stared at the trickle of blood running down the face of his neighbor.

Hypotenuse Man. Executed for whispering.

[Blademaster]

"I haven't been in a school since I dropped out of kindergarten when I was 11," Blademaster whispered.

Hey! Damn it, I didn't drop out of kindergarten until I was 13! Get your facts straight before you speak, ya nimrod!

(takes out his frustration on Mikachu by spearing him in the eyes with a katakama)

[Jeff]

JEFF used WHACK!
Foe MAGMAR fainted!

JEFF gained 300 EXP. points!

[Inferno_Dragon]

*random encounter with Jeff. Jeff fires off a volley of barrages but due to my shield spell, they all scatter everywhere causing mayhem to the towns around us. I summoned every single summon (Shiva, Bahamut, Alexander, Tonberry ... etc, etc, etc.) I can think of and watched as they mutilate Jeff.*

[Hinoryu]

Apologies. I have no idea how the triple-post thing happened.

*apologizes until Jeff can take no more and his eardrums burst.*

[Magmar]

JEFF used WHACK!
Foe MAGMAR fainted!

JEFF gained 300 EXP. points!

I am worth far more than 3009 Exp. Points, Mister! :p

*Produces Spiral Heart Moon Rod*

Moooooooooooon *doo doo doo doo doo DAAAAA* moon moon moon moon moon moono ooooooooooooooosailor moooonnnnnnnnnn da ada da da da da daaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Takes aim at Blademaster*

Mooooooooooon spiiiiralllll heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaartttt attaaaaaaaaaack!

*Hearts, ribbons and pretty things pelt Blademaster in the face*

"I, Sailor Moon, have punished you in the name of the moon! ...oh yeah, Whack!!"

*Magmar takes off the miniskirt and scampers off, giggling*

[mr_pikachu]

The students all surrounded mr_pikachu, whose face had smeared blood all across the tiled floor. His arms were bent unnaturally underneath his body, while his left knee had completely shattered.

"Is he dead?" whispered Captn_BooZe.

It was the last mistake he would ever make. Two of mr_pikachu's fingers twitched on instinct alone, sending a straightened paper clip straight through the child's right eye and into the back of his skull.

"No... talking in... class," mr_pikachu choked, spitting out several mouthfuls of blood before his earlier whacking finally took effect.

[Inferno_Dragon]

*teleports Mikachu Yukitatsu into Invader's Zim houses. After meeting Gir who is totally useless, Mikachu Yukitatsu decides that it is safe. Until Mikachu Yukitatsu meets Zim. Zim is curious about this human and decides to have fun with him. He experiments on him several times then teleports Mikachu Yukitatsu to the room with a Moose. Mikachu Yukitatsu gets so freaked out that he runs around in circles panicing so much that his/her head explodes.*

WHACKAGE!

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Mikachu Yukitatsu gets so freaked out that he runs around in circles panicing so much that his/her head explodes.* WHACKAGE!

I think I have done that in real life... And I haven't checked your genders, but at least you should have read that I dated a girl...now what does that tell about me?

And then, am I stealing again? I don't know if mr_pikachu has watched a certain film or read the original book, but as he already took the classroom scene, I'll extend.

In the start of the new millenium, the whole country collapsed.

15% of the nation, 10,000,000 people unemployed.

800,000 students boycott schools.

The grown-ups lost their hope, and, being afraid of the young, they pushed through an educational reform.

The educational reform of the new millenium, so-called BR-reform.

"Jinsei wa geemu desu. Kono kuni wa sukkari dame natte shimaimashita. Tomodachi wa minasan ni chotto korosarete moraimasu (or something?)."

"Life is a game. This country has become all useless. I'll have you all killing your friends."

That's what Kitano, the teachers said. Jeff and his 39 classmates, found themselves in a classroom, with strange necklaces on their neck. The teacher introduced them two exchange students, Kawada-kun and Mikachu Yukitatsu.

Kitano shows them a video which tells that the students have 3 days time limit to kill one another. If not, all the necklaces will be blown up.

Soon all the students are sent outside with their weapons. As Kitano relaxes, he reciecves a message: Jeff's gang has caught Mikachu Yukitatsu. The next scene takes place on a shore. Mikachu Yukitatsu is surrounded by Jeff and his friends.

One of them, Sasagawa, takes a fan from Mikachu's bag, saying: "Nan da, kore?" "What's this?"

Another one, Tsukioka, points a pistol at Mikachu: "You are Kitano's agent!"

Numai, a friend of Jeff, too, says: "You are trying to make us kill one another."

Kanai, the only girl in the group, states: "You should speak the truth now."

"Do you hear us?" Jeff yells pushing a machine gun on Mikachu's forehead.

Mikachu Yukitatsu tries to spit on Jeff's face, but fails as usually. Jeff gets angry and is hitting Mikachu with the gun, but Mikachu grabs it and shoots the party!

Mikachu Yukitatsu takes the guns and grenades from the dead, leaving only a useless nunchaku there.

Boys 9 Jeff 10 Sasagawa 14 Tsukioka 17 Numai

Girl 5 Kanai

dead

[Nokori sanjuusannin]

[33 left]

Note that I whacked only one TPMer here!!

EDIT:

2) No Backwhacks: you cannot whack a person that has whacked you until they have been whacked.

I don't know if I got this rule right, perhaps you could give me an example.