<(Game)> Whack-a-TPMer (Lady Vulpix Approved)

[kitsun]

Welcome to the first of what hopes to be many exiting rounds of Whack-a-TPMer.

The rules are simple:

The object of the game is to "whack" as many different users that participate in the game and score as many whacks as possible.

to 'whack' someone, one must simply post who they are whacking and how they want to whack them.

I whack Bob; *SuperwhacKs Bob; *stomps Bob into the ground; are all acceptable whacks.

You may only whack those who have posted here. So, no sign-ups are necessary.

Here are the rules:

1) No Doublewhacks: you cannot whack the same person twice in a row.

2) No Backwhacks: you cannot whack a person that has whacked you until they have been whacked.

3) The Rule of Three: once a person has been whacked, that person cannot be whacked until three other people are whacked.

4) No Multiwhacks: only one whack per post, please.

5) No Rapidwhacks: you cannot whack multiple times in a row as per the double posting rule.

After a predetermined number of pages, I will tally up scores. Various "Awards" can be gleaned, such as:

Whack Champion: had the most variety of whacked users

Whackiest Whacker: awarded to the user with the most hilerious whack, as determined by poll.

Most Elusive Whack: awarded to the user that was whacked the least amount of times

I will create graphics for the awards as they are awarded.

This Round will last until the 121st post..

EDIT: Clarified ending of round 1.

[Mega Horny]

*Pours boiling water all over Kitsun, and throws his flailing carcass into a barrel of asbestos.*

[Inferno_Dragon]

I whack Mega Horny. *ties Mega Horny up with various types of meat and throws Mega Horny into the Lion Den and watchs his entire body get devoured by hungry lions.*

Not the ingenious but it is simple for my first Whack-a-TPMer.

[Blademaster]

Well, we've had two tosses so far... How about an actual 'whack' this time?

(whacks Inferno Dragon in the groin with a live pirahna)

^^

[Hinoryu]

Well, since I'm an IRC junkie, I might as well.

* Hinoryu slaps Blademaster around a bit with a large trout.

[kitsun]

WHAM! WHAMWHAMWHAM!!!

*Kitsun picks up his giant club off of the battered, whacked pulp of Mega Horny.

btw, Blademaster, I'll score whacks that dosen't actually use the word whack as long as they are legal and inflict harm to an "opponent".

[The Blue Avenger]

* Hypotenuse Man's Sol Blade lets out a howl! Megiddo!

(Hypotenuse Man leaps into the air amidst a background of flames. He gestures downward, and the sun falls from the sky. It gains more and more speed until it lands directly on top of kitsun... whacking him.)

[Blademaster]

Whack-a-Mod! W00t!

(whacks Hypotenuse Man across the face with a flaming cactus)

[The Blue Avenger]

Heh heh heh... Let's try this.

HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAALP!

*Out of nowhere, the Elite Beat Agents skid up in their surprisingly Batman-esque car. They begin dancing to the tune of Jumpin' Jack Flash... all over Mega Horny, whacking him. Their boss, Commander Kahn, yells 'Mission complete!' as they leave.*

[Hinoryu]

Well, since Hypotenuse Man seems to have the handheld systems covered, let's do this the old-fashioned way.

*Casts Luminaire on Blademaster*

[Blademaster]

Oy! Whack me once, shame on you!

But whack me twice, and I put your ass on ice!

(assumes a fighting stance; body explodes with golden energy as hair stands on end, turning blonde in the process)

"KAAAAAMEEEEE...HAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEE....HAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

(unleashes a beam of fiery anime death on Hinoryu, 'whacking' him into utter obliteration)

[Shadow Wolf]

Hmm, let's see if I can come up with something...I hope that this is legal.


*uses a big hammer to smash kitsun into a "Trou de loup"*

[Hinoryu]

Well, hey, I couldn't help it. There's only so many whackable people thanks to that 'Rule of Three'. Though I think I accidentally violated the Doublewhack rule.

*meanwhile, rollerblades up, and smashes shinypkmnchaser's head in, a la Shonen Bat.*

[kitsun]

*In a flash of light, an item appears from the sky, as SSB. Kitsun picks up the Home Run Bat, and SMASHes Hinoryu, sending him off into the distance.*

Team Hinoryu's blasting off again!

btw, hinoryu, yes you did violate the doublewhack rule, so I can only score one of them.

[Hinoryu]

Eh. Totally worth it. And while I'm at it.

*Displays a Duel Disk of the Battle Earth fic* I sacrifice King's Knight, Queen's Knight, and Jack's Knight to summon the God of Sun Dragon - Ra! *Proceeds to consume Blademaster's soul through fire, death, and phoenix gods.*

[Inferno_Dragon]

Wow, things happen when you step out of the room for a while.

*pulls up in a machine with a wrecking ball. Fires up the machine at full velocity and lets the wrecking ball crash into kitsun. (And if you don't think a wrecking ball is not dangerous, think about it being super powered and having your body being smashed with a wrecking ball that's velocity is so fast that it would probably break every bone in your body ... probably.)

[Blademaster]

(whacks kitsun between the eyes with a moldy tuna sandwich)

[kitsun]

*Kitsun takes an oversized copy of the Rules of Engagement, AKA the Whack-a-TPMer Rules, and Slams Blademaster into the ground like a stake*

(due to the Rule of Three, Blademaster's Whack is null and void, allowing me to whack him. Please see Inferno_Dragon's Post Just above yours, Blademaster. Sorry to be such a prick.)

[Inferno_Dragon]

Okay, time to pull out the big guns.

*a pair of giant guns appears in my hands which causes me to fall on my face.*

Okay, not that big and that's not what I meant.

*transforms into the Nine-Tales fox and starts to rip shinypkmnchaser into a million pieces while splattering blood everywhere.*

If that isn't brutal, then I don't know what is.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*/whack Hinoryu*

*Crazyelfboy whacks Hinoryu*

*type /lol*

Guild [Karune]: LOL

WOW ftw (Crazyelfboy lvl 70 Night Elf Warrior, Burning Legion, PVP)

[darktyranitar]

Oooh! *clutching head in pain* Ahh, I can't take it!

*unleash a powerful psychic blast towards some cars, gathering them to crush at Inferno Dragon until he was reduced to a ball of flesh, before the cars and removed and the said flesh then fell into a pit full of cannibal human*

Phew...

[Hinoryu]

Oh god, a night elf. I'll get you, oh yes I will.

*vents rage on kitsun in the form of a giant dragon, eating him alive.*

[Blademaster]

Well, with my options this limited...

Sorry, Lou.

(casts 'The Day After Tomorrow' -150*F wind at shinypkmnchaser, freezing him solid, then snaps off his head, leaps back, and hurls it at his body, shattering both to shards)

[Blademaster]

EDIT: Self double-posting...? o.O Freaky...

(deletes)

Sorry, guys - carry on. ^^;

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Crazyelfboy runs up and picks up Blademaster cathing him in a sack*
*Tips blademaster into a whack-a-mole game*
*Pulls out a giant PIE mallet*
*Starts whacking Blademaster as he pops out of the holes*


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pie

[Hinoryu]

*Simply has Erebus... well, let's not go there, at Blademaster. And trust me, if you don't know what Erebus is, you are much better off not knowing. No, I'm not talking Greek myth Erebus, that's nothing compared to this one. Let's just say an eternity of meathooks, insanity, and pain await.*

[Shadow Wolf]

Whoa! Careful, that is triple posting.

OK, let's see now...movies. Hmm...

*uses a "Clockstopper's time clock" to make himself ten times faster, then picks up a giant spiked club and hits Hypotenuse Man, sending him into oblivion.*

[Magmar]

*Produces the Moon Scepter and flings it at Hinoryu* >_>; alas, triple posting is painful

[Inferno_Dragon]

*teleports myself and darktyranitar into the Deathmatch rings. Nick Diamond and Johny Gomez introduced us and Miles Lane say that infamous Let's get it on. I start out by kick boxing darktyranitar but somehow he dodges it and hurt my foot against the ring posts. Then he takes out a bat and starts to beat me to death but due to my matrix skills, I only take one of the hits. Then I pulled out a arsenal of sharp weapon and throw it at the darktyranitar's body. All of the pierce his body but darktyranitar laughs anyways. darktyranitar says is that the best you can do? Then I point to the dagger with the explosive seal tag tied to it imbedded in his body (similiar to the one Naruto used on Gaara.) Then darktyranitar explodes causing blood to splatter all around the room. Then I am congradulated by Miles Lane for winning this match.

(Now that is one piece of brutality.)

[Shadow Wolf]

Hmm, it looks like it's sick, so it's time to chop it.

*uses an axe to chop the 10-meter-long coconut palm, then screams*

LOOK OUT, BELOW!!!!!

*The tree falls and smashes Crazy Elf Boy*

...

*quietly leaves the scene*

[Jeff]

JEFF used WHACK!
Foe MAGMAR fainted!

JEFF gained 300 EXP. points!

[Inferno_Dragon]

*random encounter with Jeff. Jeff fires off a volley of barrages but due to my shield spell, they all scatter everywhere causing mayhem to the towns around us. I summoned every single summon (Shiva, Bahamut, Alexander, Tonberry ... etc, etc, etc.) I can think of and watched as they mutilate Jeff.*

[Hinoryu]

Apologies. I have no idea how the triple-post thing happened.

*apologizes until Jeff can take no more and his eardrums burst.*

[Mega Horny]

*picks up Blademaster, and carries him to a local factory. Ties him to a conveyor belt leading towards a series of gears, which rip off his skin, revealing a metal cyborg interior. Next, I apply headphones to his ears, and turn on some really loud Sheryl Crowe. WHACK.*

[Inferno_Dragon]

*ties Hinoryu down to a DDR Machine. Explains that each time a mistake is made, part of your body will get cut. I set it to really really really really really extreme hard mode (there probably isn't such a mode but for this case, let's just say there is.). The game is so hard that Hinoryu keeps messing up and at the end of the game, what is left is a few body parts of what was Hinoryu.*

[Blademaster]

(Now that is one piece of brutality.)

You wanna see brutality...? Heh heh heh heh heh...

Screw references - I'm going with originality this time.

(knocks kitsun unconscious, the cuts his stomach open and sticks in a grenade, tied to the pin of which is a single strand of cord, which I then proceed to coax up through his esophagus and out his mouth before sewing him back up)

-----------------SEVERAL HOURS LATER--------------------

(kitsun wakes up and begins to gag on the cord; in a panicked frenzy, he grabs the cord and yanks it out several feet before it is finally freed, a small keylike piece of metal on the end)

kitsun: .......?

.........

Oh, shi-

(kitsun's stomach explodes on all sides, leaving nothing holding him up save a spinal column)

kitsun: O_O .......... (falls over)

Now THAT'S how you whack someone.

[darktyranitar]

Since I'm not feeling very creative right now...

*creeps up behind Mega Horny, and kick his legs, causing him to fall backward into what appear to be a bottomless pit*

Mega Horny: Yaaaahhhh.... *echoes for what seems like forever before voice fades out*

*Whack*

Hm, wonder what he fell to to make that kind of voice? Oh well... *runs off*

[Inferno_Dragon]

*attacks Blademaster with several snakes. Blademaster is bitten but he seems to survive but not for long. Speaking Parseltongue, I summon my Basilisk. Blademaster tries to pull out a mirror but I teleport it away. He tries to shut his eyes but I am one step ahead of him. I teleport in front of him, pushes him down and flips him over. While performing a temporary shielding spell over my eyes, I turn to pull Blademaster's head towards the Basilisk's Glare ... which kills him.*

[Hinoryu]

This game got gory quick.

*First, uses Auto-Life on DarkTyranitar. Then rips out his spinal column. Removes any ribs that go with it, and attaches them to the end to make a makeshift spear. Then impales him through the heart with it. Autolife revives him with the spear still in the heart, killing him again instantly. Then revives, then kills, then revives, then kills, ad infinitum.*

[mr_pikachu]

*I whack Hinoryu with the Pokemon Hangman Randomizer and then bury him with plushies.

Accidentally broke the Rule of Three... it's fixed now.