I dare you to write a 600 to 700 word fanfic about one of the active moderators of the Fanfic forum, that moderator being the central character: a retard with magical powers and a serious, uncontrollable case of Tourettes. You must incorporate an execution scene, a llama, an African princess, and the phrase "Tits on rye". This must be posted in the next 48 hours in the Fanfic forum and on one other active Pokemon message board. You must keep the name of the moderator, and may incorporate any two other TPM members except yourself and me into the story. You must title the thread: "Retards on Ice".