The af;lkjglk;uer Chronicles 2: Bertha's Big Day
Here is the second of the collection of stories that will be perfect for you. Even if you like cheese. Even if you don't like cheese. But maybe not if you are missing your ketchup.
~*The af;lkjglk;uer Chronicles 2: Bertha's Big Day*~
It all started when Serebii Joe discovered the Fibonacci sequence... never mind, that never happened. Or did it?
No, it was all when Jarl the lonely Swampert decided to wake up from his one story toaster, and say the word fetish at the end of every sentence for the rest of the day. He walked outside, and otherDigimonPokémon were out there waiting for him.
"Good day, Jarl!" a Makuhita with a bottle of rum surgically attached to his forehead said.
"Good day to you too fetish!" Jarl replied.
"Umm... what's wrong with you, Jarl?" the Makuhita replied.
"You're quite the one to be asking that with a bottle of rum attached to your forehead fetish," Jarl said back.
"I hate you!" The Makuhita yelled back, then ran away crying.
A green Pikachu walked up to the lonely Swampert. "Fooigbna! Nernatn hammer tiep." it said.
"Sure, you can join me fetish." Jarl replied.
"Cacnacac foob ragitn!" the green Pikachu replied. It then turned into a piece of cheese. Girl grabbed the cheese and ate it. It tasted good.
Jarl continued on pointlessly. A purple Jumpluff with leprosy floated over to him. He just wanted to know where the Chinto region was. But Jarl told him that no such region existed fetish. The Jumpluff then changed into a Mawile, who then fell apart. The Mawile's arm, however, decided to crawl around and follow Jarl on his pointless quest to nowhere. But then it fell apart.
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The evil sorcerer, Jarl, who happened to share the same name as the lonely Swampert, and also a couple of other Swamperts, one having a foot fetish, sat in his dusty, cavernous lair atop Mt. Mountain. He watched Jarl through his crystal Pez dispenser, which abruptly turned into a piece of cheese. Girl grabbed the cheese and ate it. It tasted good.
So then Jarl decided to watch Jarl through Girl, who had assumed the properties of the crystal Pez dispenser for some reason. Jarl was walking through Mauville City. He decided to stop at the local Pokémon center.
"Aah, this is boring. What else is on?" Jarl said to himself. He then grabbed his remote control and changed the channel on Girl. He was now watching Fox.
"You are watching Fox!" came the response from Girl.
"I AM WATCHING FOX" Jarl said, hypnotized.
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2:89 And when there cometh unto them a scripture from Allah, confirming that in their possession - though before that they were asking for a signal triumph over those who disbelieved - and when there cometh unto them that which they know (to be the truth) they disbelieve therein. The curse of Allah is on disbelievers.
2:90 Evil is that for which they sell their souls: that they should disbelieve in that which Allah hath revealed, grudging that Allah should reveal of His bounty unto whom He will of His slaves. They have incurred anger upon anger. For disbelievers is a shameful doom.
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Jarl walked into the Pokémon Center for no reason. A strange man appeared in front of him.
"Hi, I'm Giddy! I have a scintillating story for you!" He spoke.
"That's nice fetish." Jarl replied.
"Would you like to hear my story?" Giddy asked. A box containing two options appeared in front of Jarl. He chose "no" and added fetish at the end of it.
"Abra is so charming. Don't you agree?" Giddy continued as though nothing happened. The text box containing "yes" and "no" appeared in front of Jarl again. Jarl selected "no" and added fetish at the end of it.
"Have you ever been underwater? Just once I would so like to go!" Giddy said. The box appeared again, and Jarl selected "no" once more, adding fetish at the end of it.
"Lunatone is so sunny. Don't you agree?" Giddy continued. Jarl selected no and added fetish at the end of it.
"Wouldn't it be nice to float away on a cloud of bubbles?" Giddy asked.
"No, it wouldn't fetish." Jarl replied. Giddy then turned into a piece of cheese. No, actually, he didn't, but Jarl wished he did.
"Gyarados is so pretty. Don't you agree?" Giddy continued. Jarl irritatedly selected "no" and added fetish at the end of it.
"That's all, I think. We should chat sometime!" Giddy said to Jarl.
"Oh, no we shouldn't fetish." Jarl replied, pulling out a bazooka from his pocket... oh wait, he doesn't have one. So then he pulled one out of the place which all cartoon characters pull out things they obviously couldn't have been carrying, and blew Giddy to smithereens. The smithereens turned into pieces of cheese. Girl grabbed the cheese and ate it. It tasted good.
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Jarl decided he was done watching Fox. But Girl wouldn't let him change the channel. He still liked watching Fox. So then Jarl grabbed his backup Pez dispenser, then wondered why he hadn't thought of that before. He then noticed that it was an ordinary Pez dispenser, and then he knew why he hadn't thought of that before. So then the evil sorcerer decided he would kill all the people named Jarl. Girl said, "oh, no you shouldn't, because that might lead to this story actually having a plot."
"Aah, good point," Jarl replied, and then went on watching Fox anyways.
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Jarl then walked on to the neighboring Vermilion City. What's that? Vermilion City is not anywhere near Mauville? Well, screw you. I'll have Jarl walk to neighboring Gateon Port if I feel like it. Anyways, yes, Jarl walked from Mauville to the neighboring Vermilion. The sky was a refreshing blue and the sea breeze... yada yada yada, descriptions are boring. Anyways, when he walked into town he saw a levitating Snorlax and a limbless Machoke tied to the back of a Ponyta.
"What's going on fetish?" Jarl said to the levitating Snorlax.
"Oh, the city is having its cheese festival." The Snorlax replied. "Would you like to come?"
"No thanks, I have nowhere to go to fetish." Jarl replied.
"Aah, ok," the Snorlax replied, and floated away.
"Nibber te bloop." The Ponyta then spoke to Jarl. "Foop na na na na."
"Jibberten hee fwop fetish!" Jarl then replied.
"Booter ne neefen gispergen." The Ponyta commented.
"Hoor schlepterheff nibble hooden fetish." Jarl responded swiftly.
"No. Nibberkeep." Ponyta replied, offended.
"Keeberesh oochlaten fetish." Jarl said apologetically.
"Nibberesh he feww blotten slammerte hooooooooo." Ponyta scolded.
"Ribby no hatten fetish." Jarl corrected.
"Flipper nich hop." The Ponyta replied, then clootened away with the Machoke on its heepen.
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Heeter no hooper hoffen gleesh. Nein Giblooten Foop eht neirach feww terne. Neht nok footer bob. Bild threeten focklestein 7. Fon Achtensto ere nnob slooten eht. Art rech nof sctook. Tee nee no nuuk. Fleeter fleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. No foop te na ha ha. Chia sho poot. Leeber loober lederhosen. Siecht blacken blooten blot. Foobern te hoop. Serecht no flibbertehoffenhoofengabberhop Nuzleaf Chinchou Articuno. Niblor marklar jello blee tee no fu. Jente nip te hot no. Yo quiero Taco Bell. Logna foloop fleeker ne te ha a oh. Chibber klee fleb no te ble nofoo u glabberhoffen mark. Zzzzzzzzzzz...
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Jarl continued on through Vermilion City, stopping at the Pokémon Fan club. Why? Because he felt like it. Okay, so anyways, he walked in. The fan club chairman was sitting at the end of the table. "Hey, would you like to hear about my favorite Rapidash?" he asked Jarl.
"No fetish."
"My favorite Rapidash... so cute... cuddly... hug it when warm... so smart..."
Jarl's eyes glazed over.
"Ooh, will you look at the time. I've kept you too long. Here, I'd like you to have this..." the Fan Club president said. At which point, he turned into a piece of cheese. Girl grabbed the cheese and ate it. It tasted good.
"Dammit, now I'll never know what he was going to give me fetish." Jarl replied. He then set off on a quest to figure out what the fan club president was going to give him. But then one of the people at the fan club quickly realized that it would lead to this story actually having a plot, and said, "Dude. It was a bike voucher. Don't you remember Red Version?"
"I didn't exist at that time fetish." Jarl replied.
"Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot. You're a 3rd generation Pokémon." The fan club guy resigned.
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Ma-ia hii
Ma-ia huu
Ma-ia hoo
Ma-ia haha
Ma-ia haha
Ma-ia haha
Ma-ia haha
Alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc
si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea. Alo, alo, sunt eu, Picasso
ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar sa stii, nu-ti cer nimic.
Vrei sa pleci dar nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Nu-mã, nu-mã iei, nu-mã, nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Chipul tãu si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tãi.
Vrei sã pleci dar nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Nu-mã, nu-mã iei, nu-mã, nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Chipul tãu si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tãi.
Te sun, sã-ti spun, ce simt, acum
Alo, iubirea mea sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso
ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar sã stii, nu-ti cer nimic.
Vrei sã pleci dar nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Nu-mã, nu-mã iei, nu-mã, nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Chipul tãu si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tãi.
Vrei sã pleci dar nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Nu-mã, nu-mã iei, nu-mã, nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Chipul tãu si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tãi.
Ma-ia hii
Ma-ia huu
Ma-ia hoo
Ma-ia haha
Ma-ia haha
Ma-ia haha
Ma-ia haha
Vrei sã pleci dar nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Nu-mã, nu-mã iei, nu-mã, nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Chipul tãu si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tãi.
Vrei sã pleci dar nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Nu-mã, nu-mã iei, nu-mã, nu-mã, nu-mã iei
Chipul tãu si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tãi.
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Jarl then left Vermilion city, continuing on his pointless quest to nowhere in particular. He made two quick stops in Cherrygrove City, then on to New York, Paris, and Midgar, which all neighbored Vermilion because I say so. And also because I've never been to Africa. Jarl then decided to stop at Hyrule, which was just off the 101 freeway connecting Tokyo to Sweden. There, he met this beautiful female Swampert... also named Jarl. Unfortunately for Jarl, Jarl turned into a piece of cheese. Girl grabbed the cheese and ate it. It tasted good.
Jarl then turned into a piece of cheese. Girl grabbed the cheese and ate it. It tasted good. The two of them lived happily ever after inside Girl's stomach.
THE END.
No, this isn't the end. Because I haven't talked about rabid Plusles and how cuddly and rabid they are. And how even now they're plotting world domination. But they must get rid of that which stand in their way - the electric sausages of Mt. Kilamanjaro, who are coincidentally also plotting our demise as we speak. The rabid Plusles and electric sausages stand in each other's way of world domination, each only having one weakness. Or maybe more, who knows. Or maybe none at all. Who cares. I like cheese. Did you know that?
THE END. Yes, really the end.
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