Ask/Tell: Ask me about not being a SuperMod*: Webcomic 5: Parental Advisory Unadvised

[DarkestLight]

O hell no-this is straight hilarious.

Ok Heald. You don't know me. I don't know you. I like politics as much as you like pincushions in your urethra. However, your campaign has intrigued me and I am now interested in what the potential new ruler of TPM has to offer.

So, my first question.

Are you excited as I am to kill black people more than they shoot themselves in shootouts around my block in RE5?

[Heald]

Bulba4 - An outfit you say? Why, it would be a lime green tuxedo with a matching bowler hat with a black trim. I'd also have a cane with a miniature strobe light at its head. I'd also have a monocle and a cape.

DragoKnight - On the plus side, you could move to yet-to-be-banned New Zealand.

As for your question, I've had a fair few rivals over the past few years. Mike (better known as TMM) was someone I absolutely loathed (and the feeling was more than mutual) up until a couple of years ago, when we became the Misc Marauders and generally went around dicking all over the forums. Tainted and myself also had a tense relationship that turned to friendship, but the bitterness we had for each other was not to the same degree as Mike.

Raz and I have never really been on bad terms, but we have often been on opposite sides of debates, and we have been vying for the title of the best user on the forum. It was never a rivalry as such, but friendly banter.

Dean and I used to hate each other, and perhaps he was the person I hated the most on the forums, but again, I came to be on good terms with him.

TheRustedOne was perhaps the greatest debating rival I had. For some reason, we always used to be on opposite sides of a debate, and he always won debates by attrition instead of reason, leading to heated debates that went round in circles.

I'd guess I'd go for Mike as my biggest rival, but he is one of the few users here who I do respect (even though he is banned).

DarkestLight - I had to check your question twice just to make sure you were some sort of Klansman. But the answer is no, as I've never liked the Resident Evil games.

[Toxicity]

What are your opinions on the protest against Scientology?

[Blademaster]

It's American percentage.

Heald, in your new forum, would I have permission to shoot Toxicity for stealing my petition?

EDIT: Make that Toxicity AND darktyranitar.

[Heald]

Toxicity - Which protest exactly? Is this the Chanology thing or this the real deal, e.g. Germany banning Scientology and people actually protesting against it. If the former, pure lulz that will end in tragedy. If the latter, good. Scientology is a dangerous cult that needs to be stopped.

Blademaster - I said I'd give you unadulterated powers over editing, deleting and banning (and perhaps forging other people's posts as well as well, slate that down for a later thought). However, those who join me now will be viewed in a kinder light to those who refuse to repent now. Besides, guns aren't cool (but crossbows are, and I guess you could shoot one of those...).

[Bulbasaur4]

Being my usual willful self, I don't find the desire to join. Whilst I do support Heald's take over, I'm too spirited to be subjected under someone else. XD I'd form an allegiance however and smite your opponents. *nod nod*


I thought of a new question! What's your take on space exploration? Like it? Dislike it? Think it's a waste of money? Think we'll find first contact? Feel free to go whatever route you choose. :3

[Heald]

Space exploration? Doesn't really interest me. If it serves a useful scientific purpose that can't be done on Earth (e.g. satellites), then fine. Otherwise, it's mostly just countries showing off how cool they are and is generally a waste of money, especially considering the risks that people go through (like the Columbia accident). Considering there are much larger social problems that desperately need the money, funding these projects shouldn't take up any large portion of a nation's spending.

As for first contact, unless some new engine is invented, we're restricted to our own solar system (apart from unmanned satellites) and so the only contact we'll get is either transmissions or a highly advanced race beaming to us and making me their king.

[darktyranitar]

What the... Blade? You wanna shoot me for 'borrowing' your sig? But I thought you were fine with it at first? Ah, well. Tough...

Anyway, since Healdtannia seems to be rather 300 oriented, here's another 300 related question: Where would you be dining after you have taken over TPM? And will anyone be invited to said dinner?

For the new RPG board: What would happen to Weasel Overlord and Roy Karrde? Would they be barred from posting any yaoi or loli?

Can you tell us how would you plan to take over TPM? By diplomatic means or by anarchy?

[Heald]

Hmm, well, now you mention it, I do know this lovely joint by the River Styx. I have already made reservations for 300 seats there.

Weasel and Roy are mere pawn in a much grander game of chess and as such their fates will be decided by the Grand Mistress of Darkness and Benevolence in the RPG Forum, Bulbasaur4. All forms of artwork will be banned, except for those depicting fully engorged Spartans defeating various foes.

As for my master plan, here it is in full!

1. Join TPM, act like a dick and get banned a few times, only to return, thus giving the impression of my emmortality (like immortality, but it doesn't apply IRL).

2. Yell at everyone until they flee in terror or ally with me.

3. Wait a few years.

4. Overtly reveal my plans to take over the forums, slowly gathering followers.

5. ???

6. PROFIT!

[Magmar]

Seaking. Fuck yeah?

[Toxicity]

More like Gary Motherfucking Oak, amirite?

[kalad1]

Will you support Genetic Engineering and AI Research, or will those be banned? Also, may I build a satellite based disruptor cannon so that you may eliminate opponents at will?

Also, what is Healdtania's stance on Scientology?

[Heald]

Magmar: Yeah.

Toxicity: Indeed.

kalad1: Genetic engineering is fine with me. I don't see why right-wing fools think it is so evil. The benefits of eliminating genetic disorders are infinitely useful. Plus we could finally get rid of ginger people.

AI research is fine I guess, as long as there isn't any of that 3 laws crap that always somehow gets overridden and then robots are shooting lasers and kicking ass all over the place.

The disruptor cannon is a good idea, but there are two clauses:
i) It must have accuracy of at most 1mm.
ii) It will evaporate everything within a 10 metre radius upon impact.

As I said before, Scientology is a dangerous cult that must be stopped.

[DarkestLight]

o.o Oh trust me, I'm not a Klansman, Heald. Dun think they allow black people (Chapelle Show skit non-withstanding) yet.

I'm just your average ghetto/inner city past-teenager hoodlum...who..likes to shoot things.

My question. Do you hate the whole 1337 language?

[Blademaster]

What is Healdtannia's stance on medusae?

[Dark Dragonite]

can you give information on mooncups?

[DarkestLight]

..XD @ mooncups.

[darktyranitar]

can you give information on mooncups?

You can ask #1 Chansey Fan for that. I knew what a mooncup is from her

...but why do you want to know about mooncups, anyway? Heh.

Anyway Heald, *air guitar* listen to Iron Maiden much?

[Heald]

Sorry people, I've been away for the week-end so my Intertron access has been restricted, meaning I couldn't put my webcomic up on Friday, so without further ado:

DarkestLight: 1337 isn't so bad. It's binary I can't stand.

Blademaster: Medusae? Never really thought about it. I suppose I'd ship 'em all over to France, because I hate those bloody frogs.

And that goes for both the mythical monster and the cnidarian.

DarkDragonite: I guess so.

darktyranitar: Iron Maiden is possibly one of the greatest bands, nay, accomplishments in the history of music. Healdtannia's national anthem would be written, and performed by, Iron Maiden.

[Blademaster]

Yeah, that question was kinda weird... I was originally gonna say unicorns, but that sounded too fruity. Then dragons, but that sounded too cliche. So I picked another mytho-creature out of a hat. The result was Pan... something. That freaky midget product of goat-on-girl action. >.>;;; Medusa was the second result. I went with her. Sounded safer.

[Heald]

No more questions? Bah. You people don't know how lucky you are, what with me providing this fabulous service.

Anyway, webcomic 3! Away!

[DarkestLight]

XD Hhahah that's great.

Ok. Best movie of all time? Not your favorite movie-but the best movie of all time.

And if you need to get specific about grouping let's just start with Romance and Horror.

[Clark]

Which recent(this week) post on TPM by any member, do you find the most intriguing?

[Blademaster]

XD All hail the Healdtannia Weekly and its kick-ass funnies section! Doonesbury's got nothing on this!

What will the official religion or lack thereof of Healdtannia be?

[DarkestLight]

http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com

Yeah, that's my second question. I'm pretty immoral-so you gotta be more than me >>

[Heald]

DarkestLight - 300, obviously. This film has everything. Close runners-up are Snakes on a Plane, Pulp Fiction and Old School.

I could also take 27 five-year olds in a fight, according to your link.

ACE135CC - DragoKnight's poll about sports.

Blademaster - Gorkamorka.

EDIT Server working, webcomic away!

[Number1ChanseyFan]

First off all, I have to say that the whole "dark" theme is this topic is very confusing, there are people in here posting who are named Dark-San, DarkestLight, darktyranitar, and Dark Dragonite. I find this all very confusing and very hard to keep track of...

Now, I wish I would have seen this question earlier...

can you give information on mooncups?

You can ask #1 Chansey Fan for that.

Ok, first of all, Andrew really is the mooncup expert around here, not me. Actually, Soo was the first mooncup expert, but since she isn't here anymore, Andrew became our resident mooncup expert. But, I will try to put my flakiness aside and try to give you a detailed, scientific-sounding definition of a mooncup. Believe it or not, I can pretend to be intelligent for short periods of time and write like a person who isn't dumber than a box of rocks, which I generally am.

So anyways, here we go.

Mooncup: A plastic, reusable, and environmentally friendly product sold in the United Kingdom. A mooncup is inteded to be used by females who are currently menstruating, the mooncup is inserted inside the vagina to receive the menstrual debris that is released from the uterus during the menstrual period. The mooncup is reusable, it merely has to be emptied and rinsed, and it is ready to be reused. The mooncup is environmentally friendly, as it saves our landfills from being filled up with maxi pads and tampons. The mooncup comes in two different sizes. The smaller size is appropriate for children, teenagers, and those in their 20's, while the larger size is better suited for those over 30 years of age, or those who have experienced childbirth.

There, was that an ok definition?

[Heald]

Number1ChanseyFan - What the hell is that shit doing in my lovely thread?

Also, week 5's webcomic.

[Blademaster]

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Again!

Where does he come up with this stuff!?

[Number1ChanseyFan]

Number1ChanseyFan - What the hell is that shit doing in my lovely thread?

Also, week 5's webcomic.

I'm sorry, but Dark Dragonite wanted info about the mooncups, and although Andrew is the resident expert on mooncups, he didn't answer, so darktyranitar suggested that I explain it. I don't think I did all that terrible of a job, and admit it, if you actually read my whole description, I think that you would have learned something new, so no harm in that, right?

[Heald]

I'll admit it now. Nothing disturbs me or disgusts me more than the human menstrual cycle.

[Number1ChanseyFan]

Meh, you really shouldn't let it disturb you.

Maybe you could make mooncups the theme of your next comic. That would be interesting ^_^

[Blademaster]

He has enough good ideas as is. Your suggestions are not required.

(holding a sledgehammer over his shoulder)

Really. They aren't.

[AntiAsh Superstar]

O rly? Shall I bring Soo in to influence everything? Honestly, I put it to you that that a Soo input would be damn scary, in fact I could use that as blackmail material.

[Heald]

I have no idea what you're talking about, cracker.

[Clark]

i want some qoo and chuhai. please?

[Zak]

Random: Who do you think is the most passive-agressive member?

[DarkestLight]

Ain't nothing wrong with the Darkness of this thread. It overpowers any and all KKK advertising Heald here delivers (though damned funny)

Umm question from me? Best char in Smash? Since that's where I've disappeared to as of late.

OH and #2: Would you revive Leonaidus in order to have children between you and him with you as the catcher :O.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

I am going to print this and Andrew's one.

I'll make a boring history question.

If you ruled England during the war called 'Oolannin sota' (Åland War) against Finland in 1854 and were given a possiblity to use all kinds of military units, including modern ones such as nukes, how would you attack?

And don't say anything like "What the heck, I don't know.", I want a battle plan!

[Blademaster]

And don't say anything like "What the heck, I don't know.", I want a battle plan!

How DARE you make demands of Lord Heald!??! He'll answer you however He sees fit, and you'll be Goddamn grateful for what you get, or it's into the chop-off-your-fucking-heathen-headotine with you!!!