Ask/Tell: Ask me about not being a SuperMod*: Webcomic 5: Parental Advisory Unadvised

[Heald]

* - Umm...this is Sparta?

Basically, Andrew is only answering questions about Supermods. I'm doing exactly the opposite. Consider this to be a hybrid of Wikipedia and an agony uncle, as well as a sports result predictor. I will also comment on your hairstyle and dietary habits if you wish. Plus, every Friday I'll post a webcomic of some sort.

Ask away!

Webcomic Archive

1 - Capetown Capers
2 - Broadband Banter
3 - Staircase Scares
4 - LOL GAMING WEBCOMIC
5 - Loopy Lynchings

[Toxicity]

Hooray! A winrar is Heald! Um...

What is the best your favorite meme?

[Heald]

Ooh. A toughie. As a frequenter of the doldrums of the internet (SA, 4chan, YTMND etc.), I've seen many come and go, such as the timeless 'needs more cowbell' meme, and the classic 'DENNAL PLAN' meme, but there is one meme that stands out so well that they made a feature film about it. In fact, I have already referenced it in this thread. THIS. IS. SPARTA

Although THIS comes in a close second.

[kalad1]

If you were in a shipwreck, and only you and one other person survived, and there was a plank that would support only one person, would you push the other person off it, to their inevitable doom by drowning, in order to secure your own survival?

[Heald]

No. I'd kill them and eat their entrails while I floated on that plank.

[kalad1]

You're escorting your kid to the birthday party of the son of your old highschool bully. You are also bringing a piñata, will it be filled with candy, or something more sinister, like broken glass or hobo spiders?

[Zak]

What sort of questions are not allowed here?

[Andrew]

Which mods/admins/supermods do you like/dislike?

Secondly, if you were in charge of TPM, what would you do.

[Blademaster]

Why does this topic suck so much less than its counterpart now?

[Heald]

kalad1 - That'd be interesting, since I was my school's bully, but let's say hypothetically there was an even bigger dick at school (if possible). I'd put a Gurkha in the pinata, who would slit everyone but my kid's throat.

Zak - Specifically, any non-Supermod related question. That is Andrew's territory. Anything from four-year olds I could beat up in a 5 minute sitting to seeking advice about relationships/pets/family/Spartans, I will do my utmost to deliver.

Andrew - 1. If you asked me this last year, the answer would be much more delicious. Unfortunately, I have made peace with most people on the forums. As for who I like, I have necessarily cordial relationships with the RPG mods, considering I am their spiritual leader.

2. If I was in charge, I'd demod everyone and start afresh. I'd give Blademaster executive and unparalleled powers to ban people and delete and edit posts as he saw fit. I'd put resident gay Magmar in charge in forum decor. I'd change all the forum names and descriptions. Bulba4 would design all the new logos. Australia would be banned. The swear filter would be expanded to replace words and phrases such as 'Pokemon', 'forum' and 'Bush' to nonsensical phrases.

I'd also make a forum devoted to posting pictures of people's favourite ducks.

Also, sigs and avatars will no longer have an image size limit, and people will be allowed to put videos from Youtube and sound files in their sigs.

Blademaster - Because my future 'Executive Banhammer' has just posted here.

[kalad1]

What place would I have in your New Forum Order?

[Heald]

You'd mod the duck forum.

[Toxicity]

Would there be any place for girls in your forum?

And if there was, would you group them basing on how much you liked them?

[Heald]

Girls would be required to follow the law of 'TITS OR GTFO'.

Also, girls would be banned from the duck forum, as prior experience tells me that females have no knowledge about ducks.

However, there are many services that I had been intending to willing ladies. For example, my shirt needs ironing.

[kalad1]

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck?

Who would win, Shinji Ikari, or a slightly moist piece of tissue paper?

What's your stance on the word Smexy?

What would your Forum's stance be on Furries?

[Blademaster]

I'd give Blademaster executive and unparalleled powers to ban people and delete and edit posts as he saw fit.

KICK-FUCKING-ASS!!!!

Where do I sign up!?

Or better yet, who wants to sign my 'Make Heald the Leader of TPM' petition?

[Dark-San]

I doubt we could even make Heald the overall ruler since we already had Suzie as the tyrant.

My question to Heald would be more on the latest soccer fixture. What and why do you as an English expect England's scoreline against Switzerland to be with Fabio Capello's first game in charge?

[Heald]

kalad1 - 1. Don't know, I've never seen a woodchuck and I doubt they even exist, although, if you think about it, 4 jessops of wood.

2. I guess the tissue paper. Shinji is a little pussy, and tissue paper was made to wipe pussies.

3. I would have no problem with it. In fact, if I was in charge, I'd change Andrew's username to Smexy.

4. Furries are an abomination of the creed and anyone who indulges in such relentless furgotry will be punished by skinning.

Blademaster - 1. You sign up by pledging your allegiance to me in your sig. In time, a banner for all my loyal minions supporters will be available.

2. I would sign such a petition.

Dark-San - First of all, I am Scottish. Secondly, I feel that England's woes are mostly due to the team being a bunch of lazy, overpaid wretches and not due to incompetent managing, although that said, McClaren was pretty incompetent, so I'm guess a very generous 1-0 win to England. The goal itself will be in the second half, and it will not be a very good goal either.

[Blademaster]

It is done. Now, if you'd be so kind as to sign on the dotted line... Wait, there's no dotted line? ...FUCK!!!! My plan is ruined!!!!

[Heald]

Signed.

[Clark]

f*ck b*sh
if andrew ate everything in the world and you could only have one console system and one game, what would you pick?

[Heald]

If Andrew ate everything in the world? What the hell has that got to do with anything.

I'm mainly a PC gamer, but I'd guess I'd pick Pro Evolution Soccer for the PS2.

EDIT: banner for my glorious takeover is ready.

[Toxicity]

Lovely banner.

Two questions:

1. Will the Pirates of Miscellaneous ever have their (our?) glorious comeback?
2. Would you see the one city in the Southeast that celebrates Charles Darwin as an abomination, or the ballsiest city ever?

[Andrew]

What would you do if you were permabanned from TPM?

[Zak]

Andrew - 1. If you asked me this last year, the answer would be much more delicious. Unfortunately, I have made peace with most people on the forums. As for who I like, I have necessarily cordial relationships with the RPG mods, considering I am their spiritual leader.

Let's go back to last year: What's the answer? Who?

[darktyranitar]

What did I missed?

If you were made the ruler of TPM, would your army consists of spandex clad men with six pack abs? What would your catchphrase be? (I.E This is (insert here)!) Do I get any incentive for supporting you?

[Heald]

Toxicity - 1. Unlikely. The Misc. Marauders was a fun time, but Raz posts about once a year, fmwam has been gone for ages, TMM is banned and Tainted left ages ago, apparently due to cancer. I could pick a new band, I suppose, but if and when that happens is up in the air.

2. Never heard of it, but on closer inspection it seems to be just a way of spiting Christmas. But, whatever, they can do what they want.

Andrew - Probably do some work, and just post more at other forums I'm a member at.

Zak - Haha. Good call. To be honest, most mods who I had a beef with have left now. Gligar_Man was a dick to me for no apparent reason. Vineon and I had a bit of a bust-up. LP banned me for some reason and was always telling me to shut up. Kris and I used to be on pretty bad terms, since she had a problem with my overzealous debating tactics. Lady_Vulpix has repeatedly yelled at me whenever I stepped out of line. WPM used to be a mod too, IIRC, so of course we hated each other. Was Animelee ever a mod? He was a dick too. When TMM was a mod, we hated each other, but that was ages ago. Does that satisfy you? Actually, I'm the one answering questions, not you.

darktyranitar - No, because spandex clad men with six pack abs usually smash computers and I need people who can actually type to work for my new TPM order. As for a catchphrase... how about 'Give them nothing, and take from them everything!'

Incentives are you will not be shunned in my New Order if you pledge allegiance to me now. I'll also reallow sig contests.

[Dark Scizor]

Who is your waifu? And you have to have a waifu, everyone does.

Will we [The English] kill you Scots come the 6-nations game?

(Spoiler:) The only answer possible is yes.

[Heald]

After looking up what the hell a waifu is, the best approximation I can give you is my left nut.

Also, my prediction for last night's match was mostly wrong, but at least I predicted an English win. As for the rugby game...

Scotland were really cack against France, and so hopefully England will play like they did in the second half against Wales. Scotland will get an early 3 points, then the English will go 3 points then 7 points. Scotland will then stop fannying about and score a couple of kicks and tries and England will lose. Hahahaha.

As for who will win the 6 Nations overall, I reckon France has it in the bag.

[Blademaster]

Do I get any incentive for supporting you?

Yeah, Lackey. Your incentive is that you get paid. Now sign your name somewhere so it can be added to the petition.

Toxicity, same for you! You sound like you want Heald in charge - if so, put your name somewhere so I don't get sued for signature forgery!

On-topic, Heald. If you could rank how awesome you are on a scale of 1-100, where would you rank? What member of TPM, if not you, would rank highest? Lowest?

[Magi of all]

If you lit yourself on fire, would you jump in some water or beat yourself out?

[Heald]

Blademaster - The question implies that I, like most people, have a quantitative ratio of awesomeness. If you don't understand, it is like the alcoholic quantity of liquor; the ratio of alcohol to non-alcohol determines the strength. However, I am not just awesome, but the very embodiment of it so that even if I had no corporeal form, conceptually speaking I am still awesome, just an abstract form of it. Normally, it would be impossible to put myself on a scale of awesomeness from 1-100 because it is impossible to divide by zero, but a side-effect of my awesomeness is that I can actually divide by zero, therefore, my score would actually only exist in the fourth dimension. However, just to be a complete mindfuck, I'm going to say 99.9 recurring, which is conceptually the same as 100.

As for the highest, I'm going to go for Raz, one of the only TPMers to have earned the rare gift of my respect (at least, as much respect as I can give to someone on a Pokemon forum). Lowest? Eh, HavoX was a dick. I'm not going to say more conventional people like WPM, as he was more or less hated by everyone else, such a level of hate which brought about a winning phailure, which is slighty awesome, yet also lulzworthy.

Magi of all - I'd beat myself out, as I usually only wear expensive vintage suits, dressing gowns and tuxedos, which would be ruined if I so rashly leapt into a body of untreated water. Although, that said, I have the power to ignite and douse myself at will.

[Toxicity]

Toxicity, same for you! You sound like you want Heald in charge - if so, put your name somewhere so I don't get sued for signature forgery!

Alright, alright. Signed.

Relevant question, what would be Healdtannia's official language or languages? Perhaps banned languages?

[Blademaster]

Kick-ass. The resistance is gaining power... Mweh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...

Huh? Oh, ignore that. Just me being insane. Again.
>>
<<

Anyway, so I feel like I'm contributing, another question:

What'll get you drunker: a bottle of 70% rubbing alcohol or a bottle of 140 proof absinthe?

[darktyranitar]

Yeah, Lackey. Your incentive is that you get paid. Now sign your name somewhere so it can be added to the petition.

Sweet. Signed, btw.

BTW Heald, will you make any change on RPG after taking over TPM? And will you be taking any actions against paedophiles?

[Magi of all]

Ok, here's a hard one. What (besides yourself) is manlyer than vikings and Old Spice combined?

[Heald]

Toxicity - I guess LOUD NOISES and such would be the official such language, although decrepit and useless languages such as French, German, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Russian, Mandarin, Polish and Welsh will be banned.

Blademaster - Is the 70% British or American percent? Either way, I'd imagine the absinthe would do more damage. I've drunken lighter fluid without it doing much harm before.

darktyranitar - Yes. Bulba4 is the only one who is allowed to make RPGs. As for paedophiles, I wasn't aware we had a problem (although Australians are reasonable facsimiles, take note of my earlier post of Australia being banned), but if any of that Molly Hale is my best friend shit pops up again, rest assured I will personally track him down and set fire to his house, but not before I chop off his arms and legs and leave him in a pool of his own blood and my urine, which has some blood in it, but that's my blood.

Magi of all - Hmm. I can think of a few things that could satisfy those criteria, but I'll go with a pirate on fire (but cold fire) fisting a velociraptor while listening to his complete collection of Iron Maiden.

EDIT! It's Friday, which means the first of many hilarious webcomics! This time starring Mr Mansome, a man living in the manly 1930s!

[Blademaster]

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bulbasaur4]

Oh Heald, this topic is one of the many reasons why I love you.

So I suppose I shall ask a question- but there are so many to choose from. Hrm... so Heald, as overlord of the forum, what type of awesome overlord outfit would you wear?

[Drago]

I was trying to abstain from this topic, seeing how, in your world, the country I hail from would be banned, but for the sake of this topic, I shall shift to being Canadian (dual-citizenship FTW!)

So here's my question; who would you say was your biggest TPM rival? Not necessarily someone you hated, perhaps even respected.