Game: Whack-a-TPMer v.3 M.A. T_M_L

[Master of Paradox]

The Master of Paradox sits in the center of his lair, surrounded by levers, with a guitar on his lap and a copy of Guitar For Dummies open on the floor in front of him. He strums the strings idly, and then kicks the book away with a sneer, tugging on a lever nearby.

0000000

Magmar isn't sure what just happened. One minute he was standing in his house, and the next he was up to his ankles in sand. A warm breeze blows around him as he tries to work out what the hell just happened.

Atop a hill nearby, a figure appears in shadow, holding what looks like a guitar. It sits down, and then a rousing acoustic tune fills the air, the figure's coat fluttering in the rising wind.

"La lala la lalala la la la la la la!" the figure sings.

The wind picks up again, and Magmar covers his eyes with one hand.

As if the wind wasn't touching him, the figure continues his song:

"Aoi sora no shita de
Kaze wa mirai ni fuku
Taiyou no hizashi wo
Dakishimeru you ni...."

A strong blast of wind nearly knocks Magmar down, and he drops to his stomach, realizing the sun is beginning to set even as his hair blows about.

"Tada nagasareru dake
Ashiato dake wo nokoshite..."

Sand blows through the air as the wind gets ever stronger, and Magmar braces himself, feeling the current begin to push him back. By now visibility is zero, and he digs his toes into the soil, hoping not to get blown away.

"Hoho wo naderu kuuki to
Nekorobu kusa ga areba
Hoka ni nanimo iranai
Michitarita egao de..."

From the horizon comes something that makes a horrific rushing noise as it moves. Magmar looks up, and his jaw drops, the hot breeze stealing the moisture from his mouth as he does so.

A sand cyclone blows through the desert, coming directly at him. He instinctively gets up to flee, and that's when the wind catches him. He screams for just a moment as the cyclone picks him up, and then his cries are lost in the roar of the storm.

"Hateshinaku tsudzuku!
Ashita wo mitsume nemuru..."

On top of the sand dune, the Master of Paradox keeps singing, even as the cyclone blows off into the distance, carrying a screaming Magmar with it. He strums the last few notes, singing, "La lala la lalala la la la la la la!"

Kaze wa Mirai ni Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Magmar, it is your turn (have I even whacked you once ... I have no idea ... I so should keep track of who I have whacked in this game.)

*Magmar is walking through a narrow pathway in a dark cavern. In one hand he has a lantern and in the other hand he has a map. According to a letter which was sent to him, this place had the greatest treasure ever known. After reading it, Magmar gathered his supplies and headed off to reach the treasure. After solving several puzzles, he finally reached a corridor that would lead to the treasure. Magmar entered the chamber.*

"I don't see any treasure here. Maybe there is a switch to release it." Magmar said.

*Magmar searched around the place for a switch or button. After 15 minutes of searching the whole place, Magmar sat down. Maybe he was missing something. Maybe there was some sort of puzzle here but this room was plain empty. The walls were bare, there was nothing on the floor. There were no noises except for a stone moving up behind him.

"A stone moving up behind me?" Magmar asked.

*Magmar turned around and saw a dark figure in the opened hole. It stepped forward. Just then he could see who it is. He could see the snakes of its head. It couldn't be ... no it was impossible. It wasn't ... *

" ... Medusa. I have been led into a trap. I have to get away." Magar said.

*Magmar tried to move but he couldn't. He looked down and his feet weren't stuck to the ground. So what was wrong? Then he saw it. A tiny snake just passed by and its fangs were covered in blood.*

"Like my new creation? When it bites a person, they become paralyzed." Medusa said.

"So there is no treasure? Someone wanted me gone and they had you do it." Magmar said.

"Oh there is a treasure. You are going to part of it." Medusa said.

*Then she used her glare to turn Magmar to stone. She had some of her snakes drag Magmar into the backroom. There was a treasure trove of wealth. Rubies, Sapphires, Emeralds and various jewels were scattered everywhere. Golds coins layered the floor and there were pyramids of gold bricks. In the back of the room were a row of statues. The last platform was empty.*

"You want the greatest treasure of all? Well you can enjoy it but you want be able to use. Maybe I will keep you after I smash another one. You seem to valuable to smash." Medusa said while grinning.

Magmar, you have been Medusa whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Inferno_Dragon, you haven't at least not in this version, Magmar just joined. I actually have kept track some time ago, not so much right now though. I must count the scores and make a scoring table in the end anyway.

*makes a pile from his Pokémon, Sailor Moon, Digimon and Neon Genesis Evangelion videotapes*

*the pile falls over Magmar*

Magmar, whacked by my favourite animes, one of which is your favourite, too.

[Master of Paradox]

Deciding to do things a little more hands-on today, the Master of Paradox stepped into a side room, changing his outfit. He emerged in a white linen shirt, leather vest, leather trousers and high boots, with leather gauntlets. After admiring himself in a mirror, he took off in what could only be described as a "pimp run".

After running for about an hour, he paused and adjusted the whip on his waist, muttering, "Should have brought a map."

Fate was feeling merciful that day, however, as Mikachu Yukitatsu chose exactly the wrong moment to walk past. One of Paradox's hands latched onto his arm, and he grinned.

"Oh, hell," Mikachu said, trying to pull away. One of the Master of Paradox's boots pinned his foot down.

At the exact moment he released his victim, the Master of Paradox threw his arms out to his sides and yelled, "Grand Cross!"

Holy energy burst out from the man, and a pair of giant marble crosses exploded from the street beneath them. The energy grew ever brighter, and the skin on Mikachu's arms began to bubble.

There was a flash, the crosses spiraled outwards, and everything in the vicinity - except the Master of Paradox - was reduced to a fine ash.

Standing alone on the street, the Master of Paradox wiped his forehead and exhaled. "Not bad for an atheist."

Belmont Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Master of Paradox, it is your turn.

*Master of Paradox and Inferno_Dragon are both entering Best Buy. Both of them want to buy Super Smash Brothers Brawl which just came out. They have been talking about nonstop on TPM.*

"So what is your favorite part of the game?" Master of Paradox asked.

"I think the Assist Trophies are going to be cool, including Mr. Resetti. Sure, I don't think he does any damage but that long winded speech will be cool." Inferno_Dragon said.

"I think the Pokemon Trainer will be awesome. Sure, you don't control him, but you get to use the three pokemon that he has." Master of Paradox says.

"Too bad that they got rid of some good characters in the last game, but they made it up with some awesome ones in this game." Inferno_Dragon said while smiling.

*Both of them finally reached the game section. Master of Paradox picked up a copy of Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Inferno_Dragon was about to do the same but there were no other copies. A Store Clerk walked by.*

"Hey miss, where are the other copies?" Inferno_Dragon asked.

"Sorry, that was the last copy. We should be getting some in 3 days." The story clerk said and she walked away.

"Hey Master of Paradox, you can wait that long." Inferno_Dragon said.

"No way, I will be out of the country for a while. I need this game." Master of Paradox said.

"That's cool, hey here is The Legend of Spyro, The Eternal Night." Inferno_Dragon said.

"Sure, if you give me that copy of Super Smash Brothers Brawl." Inferno_Dragon said with a grin.

"Do you think I was born yesterday? I am not giving up this copy." Master of Paradox said.

"Fine, then we will have to do this the hard way." Inferno_Dragon said with a evil grin.

*Inferno_Dragon started to glow and all the Wii games plus accessories started to surround him. Suddenly, Inferno_Dragon threw every Wii game plus accessories at Master of Paradox. Inferno_Dragon took the copy of Super Smash Brothers Brawl out of Master of Paradox's hands.*

"Sorry Master of Paradox, I wanted that game and you didn't give it to me peaceful." Inferno_Dragon said.

Master of Paradox, you have been whacked for trying to take the last copy of Super Smash Brother Brawl and not willing to trade it for something else. (Yeah, long whack sentence description but I could think of anything cooler.)

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Picks up a pair of defibrillator paddles and pushes them against Inferno Dragons chest*

LIVE DAMN IT LIVEEEEEE

Please revive this topic whacked

[Master of Paradox]

Having lost count, the Master of Paradox scratched his head, looking around the cobweb-infested topic. Adjusting his glasses, he sighed, and then picked up a broom.

He moved around the room, sweeping all of the dust and debris into a bag, and then swung the bag over his shoulder before heading outside.

0000000

There was a knock at Blademaster's door, and he picked up a short club, instantly on his guard. He pressed himself to the wall, slunk up to the door, and pushed it open.

No one was there.

Instinctively, he turned and swung the club behind him, but again no one was there. He swung the club towards the door again, but still no one was there.

"Damn. Normally they either do one reverse or a double-reverse," he muttered, setting the club down.

The instant he walked back to his room, however, the Master of Paradox was standing in it. He emptied the bag of dust over Blademaster's head, pulled it over him, and kicked him in the stomach.

"You... bastard..." Blademaster groaned.

"Like I haven't heard that before."

Topic Resurrection Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Crazy Elf Boy, it is your turn.

*Crazy Elf Boy is holding a package that was just delivered to him. It had no address but just a note attached to it.*

"Beware of the Splut! What is a Splut?" Crazy Elf Boy asked.

*Crazy Elf Boy opens the package and a mechanical hand throws a pie on his face.*

"Oh that's right. Splut means a pie is about to throw at you. Mmmm .... Boston Cream Pie." Crazy Elf Boy said.

*The door knocks and Crazy Elf Boy goes to investigate. There is a mailman with a letter. Crazy Elf Boy gives him a tip and takes the letter. The mailman leaves. Crazy Elf Boy steps outside and opens the letter.

"It says Beware of Giant Falling Spluts. Okay who sent me ... " Crazy Elf Boy said.

*Before Crazy Elf Boy could finish his sentence, a giant pie fell on him face down.*

Crazy Elf Boy, you have been Giant Splut-Whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

Out of nowhere, shinypkmnchaser appears and grabs Magmar. Aftre this, shinypkmnchaser thinks of a weird place where a tropical breeze burst through the place and unique dancers have a good time. But in that place, a sudden infernal heat is rushing through.

Seconds later, shinypkmnchaser finds himself with Magmar at the Mauna Loa and shiny drops Magmar through the crater.

"It could have been worse" -shiny says- "A slow death by sharks on the Atlantic Ocean would have been much worse."

He then disappears into the unknown.

Jumper whacked.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Yay I have revived a topic score one for me

CEB | Giant Pie Monster
-----------------------
!!!!!!| !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Man I hate that Pie Monster

Anyway I need to Whack some one aye, ok I choose Master of Paradox

*Picks up a Large barrel of GLOUSE (Haven't figured out what this stuff is yet)
and throws it on Master of Paradox*

"What the hell does this stuff do?" inquires Master of Paradox

"I dunno" replied CEB "But I bet it is going to be really hard to dry clean"

"Curse you CEB my best shirt is ruined" shouted Master of Paradox

Whacked by an imaginary item that I am not sure has ever existed or ever will

[Inferno_Dragon]

shinypkmnchaser, it is your turn.

"Why did I agree to wear this costume? And where is Inferno_Dragon?" shinypkmnchaser asks.

*shinypkmnchaser is wearing a Sandbag costume and is standing upon a platform behind him a giant strip with a bunch of signs. The last one he can see is 5,000 miles.*

"Hold your horses. I am here." Inferno_Dragon says as he climbs up onto the platform.

"Finally, but what is the bat for?" shinypkmnchaser asks.

"Never you mind, hey Yoshi. I need your assistance." Inferno_Dragon says.

"Wait Yoshi ... bat ... sandbag ... this can't be good." shinypkmnchaser says.

*Up hops Yoshi and he begins to flutter kick shinypkmnchaser a bunch of times. After both of them are exhausted, Inferno_Dragon gives Yoshi a basket of fruit. Yoshi walks off the platform eating the fruit. Inferno_Dragon powers up the bat and hits shinypkmnchaser so hard that he flies off so fast that he is a blur.*

"He is going, going, going .... "

*SMACK!!!!"

"Gone, well, I think just beat the record for this event." Inferno_Dragon says while smiling.

shinypkmnchaser, you have been Home Run Contest Whacked (with the help of Yoshi of course.)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

I'm still alive!!!!

Mikachu Yukitatsu has forced Master of Paradox to take part in his Japanese lesson. It's time to teach some counters.

Mikachu Yukitatsu writes some kanji and roomaji on the blackboard.

"In Japanese, when we count humans, we must remember the irregular forms hitori, one people, and futari, two people. But when we have more people, it becomes easier."

"Sanjin no amerikajin, three Americans. Shichijin no samurai, seven samurai." Mikachu writes his examples.

"But you can also say sannin, right?" asks a female student.

Mikachu looks at his books and apologises. "I'm so sorry, of course it's sannin and shichinin, those are the correct forms."

Before the lesson ends, Mikachu asks all the students to give some feedback. He plays "VIVID" from Final Fantasy Unlimited while the students are writing. However, when Master of Paradox is leaving the class, he doesn't seem to give any paper. Mikachu notices this and says a magic word. Master Of Paradox transforms into a Chocobo and explodes right after!

Master of Paradox, Japanese course-whacked.

[Master of Paradox]

As his bruises healed, the Master of Paradox stood up, groaning. "Great," he muttered. "Two people to get revenge on and I'm not sure who to go after first. Damn choices." He takes a quarter out of his wallet, designates the sides and flips it. It lands in a coffee cup on the table in the office.

He blinks. "How the hell did that happen?" With a sigh, he heads into the bathroom, carefully drains out the (moldy) coffee, pulls the drain shut and dumps out the quarter. It comes out tails.

"That decides that," he says as he leaves the office, coffee cup in hand.

0000000

The interrogation room is designed to put suspects off their guard, and so it does here, as Mikachu Yukitatsu looks up from the table. "I don't even drink coffee," he mutters, drumming his fingers on the table.

"Don't give me that bull, Mikachu," the Master of Paradox says, twirling the cup around by its handle on one finger. "I saw what you did to me in that Japanese course. You're just the type to leave a half-empty coffee cup laying out for my quarters to fall into."

"That makes absolutely no sense!"

"Of course it doesn't. Have you forgotten my name already?" He lifts the coffee cup, and the screen cuts away for self-censorship purposes.

Unusual Things That Happened in Real-Life Whacked.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Picks up the Master Sword and rams it though Mikachu Yukitatsu*

STOP USING FINAL FANTASY

AHHHHHHH

*runs off*

[Inferno_Dragon]

Crazy Elf Boy, you are next.

*Inferno_Dragon is in his kitchen opening up two packages. The first one is a Blendtec Blender and the other is the Amityville toaster that Foamy once had. Inferno_Dragon gave up his second Wii to Foamy. Inferno_Dragon didn't need it. It was collecting dust. Inferno_Dragon put in two waffles in it. Then he turned toward the Blendtec blender.*

"I know the guy that owns this thing puts weird stuff in it but I think I am going to try something normal." Inferno_Dragon says.

"Normal, you have a Blendtec blender and you are doing something normal with it."

*Inferno_Dragon turns around and sees Crazy Elf Boy. His hands are crossed.*

"Well, the videos say you aren't supposed to do what he does." Inferno_Dragon says.

"So what? Are you going to follow some rules? Do things without them. He hasn't done anything that stupid." Crazy Elf Boy said.

"You haven't seen the episode when he put 6 Bic Lighters in it." Inferno_Dragon said.

"Okay, but he hasn't done anything anything stupid since then." Crazy Elf Boy says and starts to rant.

*987 seconds pass by as Crazy Elf Boy continues to rant, Inferno_Dragon notices that two dead human hands had just popped out 6 seconds earlier. Inferno_Dragon takes the human hands and whacks Crazy Elf Boy on his hand. Crazy Elf Boy hits the ground. Then he uses a remote control to eject Crazy Elf Boy out of his house.*

"Now I think I will make a strawberry chocolate mint milkshakes. Now let's get to work." Inferno_Dragon says.

Crazy Elf Boy, you have Dead Hand Whacked. (Got to love that toaster.)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

*Picks up the Master Sword and rams it though Mikachu Yukitatsu*

STOP USING FINAL FANTASY

AHHHHHHH

*runs off*

Crazy Elf Boy hears a sound of a fast gallop from a distance.

"I hope it isn't Odin with his horse. This is Mikachu's whack after all." he thinks.

But when the rider and the horse come in his sight, he sees that it's Link, from The Legend of Zelda, with his horse, Epona!! Link comes to CEB, dismounts Epona and draws his sword.

"So I'll have to face Link. How original." Crazy Elf Boy says. He draws his own sword and easily defeats Link. CEB survives with just a few minor wounds.

Suddenly, Crazy Elf Boy hears singing in Latin language.

Sors immanis
Et inanis

"Hmph! That's from Sephiroth's song in FFVII. No surprise." mutters CEB.

However, when Crazy Elf Boy looks around, he notices there's Super Mario walking towards him! Mario is carrying a radio.

"Hello Crazy!" greets Mario. "In case you are wondering, I am listening to opera instead of regular Mario music for a change. I like Carl Orff's Carmina Burana, especially the piece 'O Fortuna'!!"

Those who don't know, that's where Nobuo Uematsu took the lyrics from. In any case, Mario now tries to jump and smash CEB's head, but the elf dodges. Mario doesn't notice a nearby chasm and falls.

CEB continues his journey. He comes across a black silhouette of a large structure complex. "Looks a bit like Midgar..." he says.

"No, this is Rupture Farms." explains a Slig straight from Oddworld Inhabitants' games. Slig fires some rounds on CEB, who uses his sword as a shield. Suddenly, Slig walks to the same chasm as Mario before. "Did you like my little joke?" asks a Mudokon.

Just then, a mist falls and covers the landscape. "This reminds me of Final Fantasy IX, I think...." CEB remembers. But then he hears a human voice.

"Nice Mist, Articuno! Then, use your Ice Beam!" Crazy Elf Boy has just enough time to cover himself with his sword again, before the ice hits him!

"What next?" wonders Crazy Elf Boy and notices a strange violet or pink thingy. "Looks like a Draw Point." he says. "Perhaps I can use Mikachu's Final Fantasy obsession against him."

As Crazy Elf Boy is coming closer, he is amazed by a a girl in a Japanese school uniform to whom the strange violet or pink thingy changes!! It's Kasumi from Dead Or Alive series!

"I found this kind of entrance cool! It looked like a Draw Point from FFVIII, but I created it myself using my shinobi skills!" Kasumi tells and now it's her turn to attack CEB. However, she doesn't have time to do anything because somone throws a grenade!

"Oh great. There come the Shinra Soldiers." mutters CEB. But it's none other than Sarge from Quake III Revolution! Sagre is armed with a Grenade Launcher and a Railgun. Crazy Elf Boy dodges some bullets but is wounded by the last one, being exhausted after all the battles.

"I am quite sure this isn't all." thinks CEB when he hears a sound of a motorbike. "I wonder if that's Cloud's Motorbike..."

But it isn't Cloud, it's Mikachu Yukitatsu riding a motorbike from MotorStorm! Being a poor driver, Mikachu knocks CEB over, apologizing.

Crazy Elf Boy, whacked by some videogames other than Final Fantasy.

[Master of Paradox]

And as the final strike to Crazy Elf Boy...



Sir, you are officially Ginyu Turk Whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

Sorry for excessive use of this, but it's part of the whack. (MOP-Master of Paradox. ME-shinypkmnchaser)



MOP ME


ME


ME MOP


ME


Smiley whack.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

In the skies of Haapavesi, a town in Oulun Lääni (Oulu Province), Finland, is flying a dragon. The dragon looks terrifying, as if it came straight from Hell. That's probably why they call him Inferno_Dragon.

Inferno_Dragon has just destroyed some buildings for fun, among others a local bar named Tähtipyörä. He is flying above a shop called S-Market, or 'Sokkari', if you will, when he hears a cry.

Inferno_Dragon looks to the right and notices another dragon, a white one. The white dragon drinks some water from the lake Kirkkojärvi and spits it out as snow and ice.

"At TPM, Mikachu once said yuki is snow and tatsu dragon. That must be him." thinks Inferno_Dragon.

The tourists who have come to swim to Kylpyläsaari, the island in the middle of Kirkkojärvi, look at the two dragons batlling, in fear.

Inferno_Dragon spits fire on Mikachu Yukitatsu, who dodges. The flames reach a school below them, namely Haapveden Yläaste and Haapaveden Lukio. Some students and teachers escape from the burning building. "Has the teacher done something in the Chemistry class?" wonders one student.

The dragons head towards Eskolanniemi and then to one of the world's biggest peat plants, Fortum's reactor in the other side of Kirkkojärvi. Mikachu spits ice on I_D and and I_D spits fire on Mikachu. Then Mikachu swings his tail, hitting I_D, who falls over the power plant. The pipe pierces Inferno_Dragon's heart!

Inferno_Dragon, Haapavesi-whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

shinypkmnmaster, it is your turn.

*shinypkmnmaster and Inferno_Dragon are standing on opposite sides of a grass field. shinypkmnmaster is armed to the teeth with a bunch of high tech weapons. Inferno_Dragon just has a sword.*

"You are fool. You request a battle with me and you bring a sword. Well, it is your funeral." shinypkmnmaster says while laughing.

"I know. I must be a fool. Before you destroy me, here is a gift." Inferno_Dragon says.

*Inferno_Dragon pulls out a golden ring on a chain and throws it across the field to shinypkmnmaster. shinypkmnmaster catches with ease.*

"I don't know why you are giving me a ring. It looks like something to add to my collection of trinkets. Now prepare to die." shinypkmnmaster says.

"Don't you know the history behind that ring?" Inferno_Dragon asks.

"It is just a ring. Why would it have any history? Well, I guess I can spare a few minutes of your life. Go ahead." shinypkmnmaster says.

"Let's see if I can remember the exact words. Oh yeah. One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them." Inferno_Dragon says.

"What a minute that mean ... " shinypkmnmaster starts to talk but he is interrupted.

"That human has the ring. Destroy him."

*shinypkmnmaster turns around to see Saruman. Behind him are Orcs, Ringwraths, Shelob and a various creatures that shinypkmn couldn't even recognize. Before shinypkmnmaster could defend himself, Saruman's army attacked as fast as the wind. Inferno_Dragon walked away from the battle. He pulled out a chain with a ring. He smiled as he watched Saruman searched the body. Then Inferno_Dragon teleported out of the battlefield.*

shinypkmnmaster, you have just been Lord of the Rings Whacked.

[Knight of Time]

Knight of Time: Hmm, it's been a while, eh Blademaster?

Blademaster: Why yes KOT, it sure has, how you doing?

Knight of Time: Oh, one of my experiments just went wrong lately, I was cloning Pokemon one day for experimental purposes in one of the games, when all of a sudden, the process started to clone me instead of the Pokemon, so here, meet my twin brothers.

Knight of Time #2: Are you Blademaster?

Knight of Time #3: How did we learn Double Team?

Knight of Time #4: That's a Pokemon move, stupid, humans can't learn Pokemon's moves...

Knight of Time #5: ...unless they somehow could turn into a Pokemon at will.

All of my clones then suddenly disappear, making you confused for a moment before fainting.

Ever watched the Ralph Wolf/Sam Sheepdog cartoon where Ralph encounters Sam's entire family? If not, you just got Family Whacked, much like poor Ralph did there.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

*stabs Knight of Time with a knife*

Knight of Time, puukkojunkkari-whacked.

[Master of Paradox]

The earth begins to shake, and Louis looks up from his monitor, wondering what that noise is. It shakes harder, and he holds onto his computer, trying to keep it from falling off the table.

The shaking grows ever stronger, and just when he fears his house will fall to pieces, it stops. Confused, he gets up and looks around.

There comes a knock on his door, and he goes to answer it.

Standing outside is a tall, thin man with black tattoos on his shoulders and arms. He has wild blue hair and wears red, slashing sunglasses, with a red cape on his back and black pants.

"You!" he shouts, pointing dramatically.

"Y-Yes?"

"I understand you've used a lot of smilies lately. Do you think that makes you a man?!?"

"N-No..."

"Don't interrupt me! The great Kamina-sama... is me!" A red aura begins to flicker around Kamina, as he puts one foot on the doorway. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!?"

The aura bursts outwards, and Louis is consumed by Kamina's sheer awesome.

Tengen Whacked Gurren Lagann.

[Knight of Time]

'dons a disguise of a famous actor from the movie School of Rock'

Master of Paradox, I have been getting reports from your fellow musically inclined classmates that your music in my classroom is much too loud for anyone to hear, so I'm afraid I have to tell you to keep it way down, which blows, literally, since it's a tuba.

'several days pass...'

MASTER OF PARADOX! I warned you about playing your tuba too loud, you forced me to do this!

'with his strength, he drops the heavy tuba on top of Master of Paradox's head'

...Jack Black Whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

*whacks shinypkmnchaser with the local newspaper*

shinypkmnchaser, yet-another-Finnish-this-time-Kalajokilaakso-whacked.

Perhaps I should really think of something other than Final Fantasy or Finland.

[Shadow Wolf]

*uses a spiked glove and knocks down Knight Of Time with a low blow*

I-have-no-imagintion! whacked

[Knight of Time]

Oh, Louis, you should be extra cautious when in a forest...I see five hives up in the trees, all of a sudden, an Earthquake from a Torterra suddenly shakes up all the trees, and...
.
.
.
.
.
CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!

All five hives fall to the ground and burst open, revealing swarms of Beedrill who proceed to chase you away.

Swarmed and whacked!

lol, on a side note, this is almost like the effect that happens in Zelda 3 if you use the Quake medallion in an area with a tree containing bees, the trees are shaken by the medallion's effects, and the bees get mad.

[Inferno_Dragon]

It is your turn, Knight of Time.

*Knight of Time enters a cavern. There is supposed to be a rare treasure (Yes, I have used this scenario several times but this is different.) There are several traps to avoid but Knight of Time is the best. After avoiding several poison darts and almost falling into a pit of Arboks and Sevipers ("Indiana Jones isn't the only one afraid of snakes" Knight of Time says.) He reaches the treasure mount. Knight of Time pulls out a sack and quickly switches it with the idol. Suddenly, there is a click and Knight of Time sees a boulder rolling. Knight of Time runs as fast as he can. He exits the temple and gets in his car. He arrives at a camp.*

"Sir, here is the idol you wanted." Knight of Time says.

"This is the wrong idol. How can you be so stupid? Go back and get the right idol. There is a secret passage in the main corridor. You will know it when you find it." The cloaked man says.

*Knight of Time grumbles and heads back towards the temple. He enters it and see a series of pictures. After examining them, he figures out the pattern and presses the right button. Suddenly, the floor opens under him and he is dropped into a pit of snakes. It could be worse, Knight of Time says. That is until he shines his flashlight towards a sign on the wall. It says You are now in the pit of incredible poisonous snakes. Doom is upon you.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Knight of Time screams.

*A few minutes later, the cloaked man goes into the temple. He looks down into the pit and sees Knight of Time's body. He shakes his head and reveals his cloak. It is Inferno_Dragon.

"He look at the wrong wall. It was the left that had the key to the secret passage. Oops I guess I forgot to mention that. Oh well."

*Inferno_Dragon finished the pattern on the wall and a secret passage opens. With flashlight in hand, Inferno_Dragon walks down the stairs to behold his treasure.*

Knight of Time, you have been Indiana Jones Whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

In a silent little town, Mystic_Clown is on the way home, to take shelter from a rising storm.

"Mystic_Clown..." he suddenly hears a voice.

When Mysitic_Clown turns to look, he notices that the sound comes from the sewers. Interested, Mystic_Clown opens a hatch and sees a funny-looking clown who has some balloons in the hand.

"What are you doing there?" asks Mystic_Clown.

"I live here. Don't you want to come here as well? You'll get a balloon if you come!!" requests the sewer clown.

"A balloon? Will they float?" asks Mystic_Clown.

"Oh yes. They all float. And soon you will float, too!" boasts the clown in the sewer.

Now Mystic_Clown notices something. This clown is Pennywise from Stephen King's book named 'It'! "Do you think I'm afraid of you? I'll kill you!" Mystic_Clown threatens.

"You will die if you try! Ha! Ha! You will die if you try! Ha! Ha! You will die if you try! Ha! Ha! You will die if you try! Ha! Ha!" laughs Pennywise.

Pennywise reveals his hands, which have big claws and tears Mystic_Clowen to the death.

Mystic_Clown, It-whacked.

[Knight of Time]

Inferno_Dragon, I'm starting to think you would be best suited for the hottest TPMer award here, literally, but, sometimes dreams have to be crushed, and what better, to try something new. I just met your cousin, Subzero_Ice_Dragon, and he always wanted to meet you, well, here he is.

'watches as Subzero_Ice_Dragon freezes Inferno_Dragon solid with ice breath -1000000 degrees Celsius, then smashes your severely frozen body into millions of pieces with his mighty tail'

Whacked and turned into ice cubes.

[Blademaster]

Actually, -1000000* C is not possible: Atoms cease to move at absolute zero, which is -273.15* C.

Sorry, Knight of Time, but you have been whacked. By the God of Random. With logic.

Oxymoron-whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

*Yawn*, I'm going to rest for some time.

Master of Paradox-What are you think you are doing? Sleeping in the middle of a battle? Heh, no good!

*MOP rushes to shinypkmnchaser and punchs him, but at the instant that the punch touches shinypkmnchaser, an incredible force blows back MOP sending him flying into the horizon*

*1 hour later*

Louis-MOP, where are you? Hmm...guess he ran away.

SSBM rest-whacked

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*grabs a science text book and throws it at Blademaster*

............................... whacked

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

*a Formula 1 car knocks over darktyranitar*

darktyranitar, Malaysia GP-whacked.

[Master of Paradox]

At the office, Master of Paradox attempts to staple some documents together. He frowns as there is no result. Opening the stapler, he sees why - rather than press any into the paper, the stapler has broken several off the line at once, jamming it.

He shakes the staples out and tries again. The same thing happens.

Picking up his documents, the Master of Paradox heads out to where Knight of Time sits. Before the other man can react, he opens KoT's mouth, shoves the papers in it, and slams his jaws together. Satisfied, he leaves.

The-office-equipment-is-pissing-me-off Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Master of Paradox, it is your turn.

"Okay, I challenge you to a game. If I win, I may have to prize behind you in the secured door. If you win, you may claim the prize behind me in the secured door." Inferno_Dragon says.

"Please, I can beat you in my sleep. I can beat you with my eyes closed. I can beat you with one hand ... " Master of Paradox starts to say.

"Okay, I think I get it. You are skilled at most games. The game I suggest is Bakugan Battle Brawlers." Inferno_Dragon says.

"That game, please. A child could beat it. I will beat you so fast you don't know what will hit you." Master of Paradox says.

"Okay, let's go." Inferno_Dragon says.

*Time slows down around them. mr_pikachu is about to pull beat Blademaster in a Pokemon battle. Dark Sage has almost about to write the last sentence of his latest fanfic. And Crazy Elf Boy and Fett One are in the middle of a weird argument. Both Inferno_Dragon and Master of Paradox throw down two field cards.

.... Right now, Inferno_Dragon is down to his last Bakugan. And Master of Paradox is smiling.*

"I told you, I am the best. Now throw down a monster from your pathetic collection." Master of Paradox says.

"My collection has no pathetic monsters but it does have this monster." Inferno_Dragon says.

*Inferno_Dragon throws down a reddish ball and it gets into position. Suddenly, Drago appears on the field. Master of Paradox looks at it.*

"But how? Only Dan has it. Where do you get that monster?" Master of Paradox asked.

"Let's just say that Dan owed me a favor. Now Drago, finish this with Armageddon attack." Inferno_Dragon says.

"Wait a minute, that isn't one of ... " Master of Paradox is about to say but he is caught off.

*An gigantic explosion not only destroys Master of Paradox's Bakugan but destroys Master of Paradox as well. Inferno_Dragon presses a button and Drago transformes into a dark version of Dragon.*

"It has been a pleasure to serve you, master. If there are any more enemies you need destroyed, just call on me." The dark dragon says while bowing to Inferno_Dragon.

"Don't worry. You will plenty of chances to face off against my opponents ... just you wait." Inferno_Dragon says chuckling.

Master of Paradox, you have been Bakugan Battle Brawlers (Say that three times fast) Whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

shinypkmnchaser is walking in a shop district of a town. He notices a completely new store, which has something like a spaceship in the backyard. Interested, shinypkmnchaser enters the store and notices a salesperson who has three eyes and five legs.

"Is that spaceship real?" asks shinypkmnchaser.

"Yes, this shop is called 'Spaceships For You'. You can buy that spaceship for only 50 bucks." replies the alien salesperson. "If it doesn't work, you'll get your money back."

"Hey at least it looks cool. If it doesn't work, at least I'll place it to my own backyard. I'll buy." shinypkmnchaser decides.

shinypkmnchaser hands the money, and enters the ship. He notices a manual in the cockpit and reads it. It looks easy and so he presses some buttons and the ship rises to the skies. He leaves the Earth in a second and, approaching the Moon, takes another look at the manual.

"Wormhole generator...it seems it's this button...I'll try..." reads and thinks shinypkmnchaser.

The space in front of the spaceship begins to curve strangely. Suddenly, shinypkmnchaser hears some laugh from the loudspeakers of the cockpit. "Ha, ha, ha, that's a black hole...".

"What a..." says shinypkmnchaser but never finishes the sentence because he is killed by the spaghetti function.

[Shadow Wolf]

After betting their respective stars, shinypkmnchaser and Knight_Of_Time are pitted in a duel.

The duel is about luck: Both players need to pick a single shadow tree.

The trees are shufled and the game begins. Both players pick their trees.

They climb the branches: one, two, three, four...

Knight of Time climbs the fifth step and reaches the top of his tree while shinypkmnchaser reaches the top only on his four step. Knight_Of_Time is the winner.

He proudly claims his two star, but suddenly, he feels the heat...

His tree burns and falls down... only to leave Knight of Time dizzy and down.

shinypkmnchaser smiles as his podoboo orb disappears.

MP-whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

shinypkmnchaser, it is your turn.

*shinypkmnchaser enters a room and Inferno_Dragon is standing in the middle of the room. A couple hours earlier, shinypkmnchaser received a message from Inferno_Dragon saying that he wants to challenge him to a duel. shinypkmnchaser thinks that this will be over in a matter of seconds just brings a pistol.*

"So you said you wanted to challenge me to a duel?" shinypkmnchaser asks.

"What? I didn't want to challenge you to a duel." Inferno_Dragon says.

"But the note says you wanted to challenge me to a duel." shinypkmnchaser explains.

"What? They messed it up. That's the last time I use that postal service." Inferno_Dragon says while growling.

"Then who do you want me to duel?" shinypkmnchaser asks.

"Her!" Inferno_Dragon says as a figure enters a room.

"You want me to challenge a girl with horns on her head? I don't understand but okay ... get ready girl I am ... " shinypkmnchaser starts to say but he is interrupted.

*Suddenly the girl with the horns starts to smile and invisible arms appear around her. shinypkmnchaser starts to fire at her but she dodges the bullets. Her arms or vectors grab shinypkmnchaser and start to throw him around. Inferno_Dragon heads out of the room before anything worse can happen. Suddenly, he hears a terrifying scream. Lucy the girl exists the room with blood covering her.*

"You didn't kill him, did you? I know that this is your job but I wanted him to feel extreme pain." Inferno_Dragon said.

"Don't worry. I didn't kill him. He will in extreme agony for the rest of his life." Lucy said.

"Then what is the red dots on your body?" Inferno_Dragon asked.

"Oh, I was holding ketchup packets on me for lunch with Kohta and shinypkmnchaser shot me a couple times though I was unharmed and the ketchup packets exploded. Fortunately, I know where I can get more." Lucy said.

"Here is your reward. Spend it on something nice." Inferno_Dragon says.

"I will, Inferno_Dragon. I will." Lucy said.

shinypkmnchaser, you have been Elfen Lied whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Mikachu Yukitatsu, in his female persona, is searching fishing nets by a river. She finds a small fish that is still alive.

"This fish is too small to eat." thinks Mikachu. "I'll throw it back."

About when the fish reaches water, it's transformed into a man in a light suit of armor. The man swims to Mikachu, saying: "Thank you. By touching me, you removed the curse an evil sorceress put on me."

"Hey but aren't you Knight of Time..." Mikachu asks, picks a shotgun and shoots Knight of Time.

Knight of Time, fairy tale-whacked.