Hm, Asi, I thought your poem was like a song too! What's with everything sounding lyrical in here, hehe. Few things to nitpick at though... (sorry, I have to do this for creative writing twice a week. It's a hard habit to break ¬_¬)

-I liked the effect of not using punctuation, but I wasn't sure whether it was deliberate because you're not consistent with it. If you're gonna go with nothing all the way through the poem, take out those capital letters too. It's very e.e. cummings (who is weird)
-I really liked the repetition of the line "is this what's true?"
-Not sure about "waking dream". It's kinda cliché sounding and it just brings Shakespeare to mind straight away. Personally, I do love the image, BUT it's just far too over-used to have any effect.

Overall, I think it's a good poem. It has some lovely imagery ("apathy is everyone's alabi" I particularly liked), but it could really benefit from some paring down. Some of the lines seem a bit over-long on the page.

Hope that's ok!

OH and I wanted to comment on yours too, Gav (Throb, I mean). As the reactions before seem to have been... my jaw kinda dropped, hehe. It's kinda on the wow side. I especially love the way you use taboo language to create such a shocking effect! My favourite bits were "cakey crust" (I like cake... what can I say!?), and "a cheersquad/for your bared breasts." It just sounds so... I dunno, bitter. Lovely! Can't wait to see the rest of the cycle.