Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's: Shadowchasers

[MeLoVeGhOsTs]

I liked the fall angel deck. Something about them just made me want to have them.

Dragondecks are not my favorite kind, but it makes perfectly sense for a person like Jalal to have them. I like how it wasn't that very standard, which makes it stand out a little bit more.

That Edmund is indeed a fishy charactar and does almost nothing but brain control, will we see his full potential?

And I'm curious about Ember for now..

[Dark Sage]

That Edmund is indeed a fishy charactar and does almost nothing but brain control, will we see his full potential?

Oh, you will indeed. You'll find out what he truly is soon, and he'll duel using that new deck he got sometime around Chapter 32. Edmund isn't a coward, as evidenced by his decision to face Gears using the Union Machine Deck. He's just lying low until he's truly ready. You'll soon see just how fishy he truly is...

[The_Missing_Link]

I'm liking everything so far, with a decent storyline and cast for once (no offense but your last few fics seemed recycled), but I noticed something you seem to do a lot

"XXX gestured, and a duel disk appeared" or "XXX gestured, and three cards disappeared"


What is the person gesturing with and how are they doing it? It might seem a little nit picky but you tend to use "gesture" without taking into account how the character makes things appear or disappear. Why can't the person snap their fingers or wave a hand? I got on your case about the lack of emotions your characters were emoting so I would suggest to take a step back and see what else you are possibly repeating

[Dark Sage]

I know I'm doing something right when I get your attention, Becca.

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll write that down and try to avoid it in the future. I guess I can be more creative in describing hand movements.

[mario72486]

An interesting duel. It's been a while since I've seen a decent Dragon-type deck, and it was cool to see the Fallen Angels in action. Even better was the fact that Jalal was participating this time around. Hopefully we'll see him dueling more in the future.

The bit about the green mind-controlling worm reminds me of one of the early Yu Yu Hakusho arcs involving the Four Saint Beasts, in which demon bugs are used to warp the minds of their targets. Something tells me Edmund's true deck involves such a strategy, taking over the opponents monsters (a la Brain Control, Snatch Steal, Brain Jacker) and using their Magic/Trap cards to his advantage. We'll just have to wait and see...