Re: The Misadventures of Charles Legend! (Re-mastered for the Nanowrimo)
Right change of plans Java the Poop is now the main Villain he is based off of Java the Hutt, isted of just being a in joke about the most expense coffee in the world which it's made from the dung of a cat.
Anyways it should be no surprise then that Java the Poop is a Gigantic brown incredibly fat and evil alien and is served by women he forced into slavery.
But yes the main point of this chapter is to introduce Charles’s daughter Jeri and his Nemesis Java the Poop, along with Wolfsong.
Chapter Two: Memories of No One
“But Charles why do you have to leave now.” asked a woman
“It’s not like I don’t want to stay but I’m one of the top ranking officers.” Charles said as he held his wife in a tight hug then let go and left his house.
Inside
“Mom why is dad leaving?” asked a little girl.
“Your father had to go to work and by the sound of it they must need your father’s help they only call on him if it’s one of the 12 most dangerous crime lords.” his mother sobbed.
Outside Charles shad a tear as he climbed into a space ship.
“Charles I understand how you fell but we recently tacked down what we believe to be the base of Java the Poop the number one most wanted crime lord in the known galaxies“ A man said. As he placed on Charles right shoulder.
“But Kevin what if what Jay said was true and Java the Poop has built a Death Star?” Charles asked.
“As we had all ready told you we have reason to believe that Java the Poop plans to kill all the men and boys on your planet and take all the women and girls captive.” Kevin said. “urther more if we had left you would have rallied the men and attacked which would have just made him use the Death Star, the same would have happened if we tried to evacuate the planet”
“I just hope you two well be ok.” Charles said looking at picture of hhis wife and dougter as the ship left the atmosphere
Meanwhile back on Charles’ home planet in the house Jeri was reading a letter Charles had left her she was crying but some what understood his reasoning she then looked at her daughter and knew Charles was doing this not only to try and protect them but their planet as well.
Five years later…
“Jay how dare you double-cross all of us especially me, because of you Java the Poop’s Death star blew up my home world you bastard! Charles snarled as he punched a man in the gut.
“Hey at lest Java the Poop pays well but I well tell you this your wife and your daughter survived, Java the Poop has your wife and daughter as his slaves.” Jay said then sliced off Charles’ left arm.
“That’s it you bastard!” Charles said as his eyes glowed as green blood gushed out of his left shoulder “You have gone too far prepare for a permanent ban from this ream bastard!” and snapped his fingers.
“Oh is that all?” Jay asked suddenly a giant Tetris brick fell on him crushing him.
“The game is over for you Jay.” Charles said as a new arm generated, one of his races special abilities, Charles then picked up his old arm and absorbed it
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Present day.
Charles was standing outside a casino called the Lucky Karp and saw two guards.
“Identification please.” asked the guards.
“Yeah I got some Identification” Charles said holding up his Voltorb “Thunder Wave!”
“What the hell?!” the two guards asked and were hit by two small lighting bolts coming from the Voltorb’s eyes, Charles then kicked them, flooring them both.
“Can’t move.“ the guards groaned.
Charles soon came to their bosses office after knocking out all of the guards
Charles took in the sounding this was no office or at lest not an earthling’s office for one thing it had a huge bed with red sheets and a giant monstrous brown slug sitting on it being served by a number of women wearing nothing but gold bras and thongs.
“Java the Poop we meet at last, where are they you slimy Blastema!”
“Who the fuck are you?” Roared the slug.
“I am Charles Legend, Agent 0026 from Her Majesty's Secret Service and I’m your Nemesis!” Charles roared. “Because you invaded my home planet and killed my friends and abducted my wife and daughter, and now that I’m hear I’m going to kill you gigantic Pimple!”
“Ha! I beg to differ Legend it is I that will kill you!” Java the Poop road evilly.
.”Leave my father alone you Monster!” A young teenage girl yelled.
“Shut up!” the slug roared and slapped her off the bed. “I’ll deal with you after I kill your father.”
The girl stayed put positively terrified of what horrible punishment waited her should the slug kill her father.
Java the Poop threw out a Poké Ball “Go Muk Crush this intruder with Body slam!” the Blob Roared.
As a gigantic pile of sludge was about crush Charles he held up his Voltorb Cannonball 26 “Explosion!
“Ha! Looks like your Father was a Legendary Loser now for your punishment. the slug roared evilly.
“Dad help!” The girl screamed. as the demon slapped her face.
Suddenly the Muk was suddenly blown apart, and there stood Charles covered in it’s remains.
“Impossible!” Roared the slug.
“Clearly you did not get the memo regarding my races abilities.” Charles said. “Keep your filthy appendages away from my daughter you disgusting blister!
“Fine you win this round and your delicious daughter back.” Java the Poop Roared.
“That well not do you demon, my mission I started Ten years ago has yet to me completed, do to the fact you still live.” Charles said. ““You have gone too far prepare for a permanent ban from this ream blasted!” and snapped his fingers.
“Maybe another time Legend but know this next time we met we shale dual in the shadows!” the Slug road as the bed quickly lowed into the floor and the hole was sealed just as a Tetris brick fell on the spot Java the Poop had been..
“Right I should have known all super villains have a secret escape hatch. “ Charles said rubbing his chin.
“Dad why did you not just have mom and me transported off are home planet” asked his daughter.
“It was Kevin’s direct orders Jeri” Charles said as he handed her some cloths them to her. “Here put these on,”
“Thank you father.” Jeri said then gave him a hug.
“Your welcome sweetheart, and I hope you understand I was only trying to protect are home world.” Charles said. “I failed, however at lest I knew you and your mother were alive, all these years I spent tracking down Java the Poop in order to rescue both you and your mother.”
“Yeah I understand father.” Amy said as they walked out of the casino and into the parking lot and got in to Charles’ car.
“Anyways I need to make a quick stop at the office, I have a desk job now as a reporter, the only old school Crime Lord left is Java the Poop.” Charles said to Jeri. “Anyways after that I’ll take to are house, thought it’s been lonely with only me and my Pokemon around.”
“Cool so what Pokemon do you have besides Voltorb?” Jeri asked.
“Well I have a Charmander who saved my life, and if to come in to my office with me I’ll introduce you to Loki my ditto who should still be crushing my boss Jeff as a Tetris Brick” Charles said as he pulled into the parking lot.
Meanwhile back inside the office.
Jeff was still suck under the Tetris Brick
“Sir Charles wanted me to tell you he went to see Java the Poop.” his secretary informed him.
“Are you sure he did not mean get a cup of Java the Poop Wolfsong?” Jeff asked angrily as he slowly pushed the over sized block off him and looked at her as he got up, little did he know the block shank in to a blue amoeba and then jammed on Charles chair were it chanced it’s shape again and Jeff sat on it, and it started to make sounds like Jeff was farting.
“Sir?” Wolfsong asked with a raised eyebrow.
Jeff got up and picked up what he sat on. “I Don’t believe it Charles put a blue Whoopee Cushion on his chair knowing that I would sit on it!” Jeff said and put on the desk then looked at Wolfsong.
“Well can you blame him, you did put him in charge of the funny pages among other things.” Wolfsong said.
“Now I know he should have been put in the Insane Asylum.” Jeff said and gabbed a pencil Charles desk that was oddly in the same spot were he put the Whoopee Cushion, Suddenly the pencil transformed into a blue M &M with arms and legs and it started to tap dance on Charles desk and sing the song called “Hello! Ma Baby”
“You see Wolfsong a total nutcase! Jeff said slamming his fist into it and crushing it into bits of chocolate.
“Sir while I agree Charles is crazy he has uncovered the Identities of several Crime Lords, apparently Chris 2.1 and Java the Poop are among them.” Amy said.
Just then Charles walked in covered in ash and purple Goop.
“Charles what the hell happened? Jeff asked.
“Oh you know Crime Lords it’s shoot fist ask quotations later.” Charles said as he looked at his desk and raised an eyebrow as he saw his ditto was knocked out on his desk “ I see you finally met Loki my Ditto.” Charles winked.
“Oh really and how do you know that?” Jeff said. “Wait so that blue Tetris Brick that fell on me that was made of rubber not Styrofoam, that Whoopee Cushion and the Pencil that transformed into a blue M &M with arms and legs and danced and sang was your Ditto?”
“Because Java the Poop tried to kill me with his Muk and left me with no choice but to blast it apart using Voltorb’s Explosion attack.”
“How the hell did you survive the blast?” Amy asked
“Simple I’m not human.” Charles said.
“That’s an understated Charles.” Jeff said.
“No really Jeff I am the last male survivor of my home world, my race was almost entirely wiped out by none other then Java the Poop, I have been chasing him threw out the know galaxies to this planet.” Charles said.
“Right and I am to believe you why?” Jeff asked.
“Because Charles is my father, and just risked his life to free me.” Jeri said as she walked into her father’s office.
“Since when do you have a daughter Charles?” Jeff asked.
“About 15 years ago give or take.” Charles said recalling his Ditto. “Anyways I’m pooped I’m taking the rest of the day off.” the he and his daughter left.
“That’s was the worst one liner I have ever herd him say Wolfsong, of curse he’s pooped he just blew up a freaking Muk for crying out load!” Jeff said. “Well him being an alien certainly explains a lot.”
"Sir have you read his report?" Wolfsong asked.
"Well I was half way threw it however I had to use the restroom but it was out of toilet parer so I used it instead, that's why I came into Charles office earlier I was going to print out another copy." Jeff said.
Charles walked back in
"I forgot my briefcase, oh did I here your right Jeff you wiped your butt with my report?" Charles asked. "That's a shame I had to delete it. well I'm out of here."
"I don't believe it he deleted it!" Jeff roared throwing his hat on the ground.
So yeah the tile makes reference to Bleach: Memories of Nobody, also at the begging of the chapter Charles was recalling some of his own memories, also his codename 0026 has no one in it similer to the fact that Greyfox had an Electrode that he called No one because it had no one in it's name, also I had a voltorb in ASB.
Also yes I'm aware that I had nothing to do with the actual banning of Jay but then again in this fic I am one of Kevin's top warriors, and it just fitted the plot line.
But Yeah I don't plan for Charles to face Java the poop again directly until the last few chapters...
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Word Count: 1304/50 000
Word Count: 1912/50 000
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Word Count:3216/50 000
~Charles Legend
