Obligatory holiday special coming through! Christmas is finally over, so I'll just jump on the bandwagon and add one more thing having to do with this holiday to the clogged toilet of holiday crap before you finally flush it out of your memories... until next year.

~*An af;lkjglk;uer Christmas*~

It was Christmas Eve, and Girl was sitting by the fireplace eating pieces of cheese.

"Boy, these sure taste good!" He thought, giving no heed to the fact that this cheese was once a collection of other random objects. That piece of cheddar was once someone's hat. The piece of mozzarella was once someone's cat. And the piece of monterey jack was once... a piece of monterey jack.

Pretty soon Girl had eaten his fill of good-tasting cheese, and fell into a food coma, drifting off into a comfortable sleep. He dreamed of fire flowers, coin showers, daffodils, and... something that rhymes with daffodils. But this sleep would soon be interrupted by the MOTHER of all holiday clichés.

"Oh no, not that! Anything but that!" said the cat. What cat? Girl has a cat? Well he does now, and her name is Princess. It was named after Princess Watering Can. Or maybe it really is Princess Watering Can. It does have the ability to talk and the ability to has cheezburgers.

"Please, I beg you! Don't unleash this overused holiday plot mechanic!" the cat screamed. But it was to no avail. For soon, a ghost appeared. This spectral entity looked exactly like what Luigi would look like if he were cross bred with a toaster. Don't ask me how that would look. It would look pretty effing weird.

"oooooOOOOOooooooo...." the specter howled. Girl woke up, took one look at the abomination in front of him, and put the palm of his hand to his face.

"Go away Fnarf. It's pretty obvious that it's you."

"WhooooooooOOOOoooo is Fnarf? No, this is I, the Ghost of Christmas Past" The cat put its paw to its face and looked down in sheer disgust. "Do you know why I am here... I am here to annoy you by showing you flashbacks of all the times stuff turned into cheese and you ate it... and how it tasted good... most of the time."

"ugh, go away," said Girl.

"remember the Forest of Everlasting Butter?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"remember the second af;lkjglk;uer Chronicles?"

"...no?"

"well, you ate them, remember?"

"...OH YEAH!"

"Remember... the dirty silver buckets?"

"Is there a point to this?" Girl sighed.

"I was getting to it... anyway, the point is that you have suuuure eaten a lot of cheese in the past...

"Yeah, so?"

"Cheese gives you gas... and might make you a little constipated. Also, that cheese used to be other things!"

"And it turned into cheese. Look, I don't know how it turns into cheese. But I like cheese. Did you know that?"

"Yess.... and you should not eat all that cheeeese..." the uninvited spirit whispered cryptically, and then turned into a piece of cheese. Girl grabbed the cheese and ate it. It tasted good. This triggered another food coma, causing Girl to fall asleep.

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Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said or "Hello" he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category.

Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," he said. "This is it." not "Hi," he said, "this is it." or "Hi," he said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," he said, "is it."

You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer.

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Girl suddenly woke up. He dreamt that he had written a bad fanfic and it was going to get torn a new asshole. He was about to drift off, but was awakened by a tap on the shoulder.

"You know what you must do" whispered a voice.

Girl sighed. "Go away."

"I am the Ghost of Christmas Present... ooooooooOOOOoooo~"

"Get on with it already, so you can turn into cheese." said the cat. Neither of them were very entertained by all of this.

"You shouldn't eat all the cheese... it's got high cholesterol. And... some of it used to be people. That's just wrong. Leave the random cheese alone!"

"Meh."

"You are a very one dimensional character. No personality, no notable traits other than grabbing cheese and eating it when something random happens to transform into cheese. Did you know that?

"Are you done yet?"

"No, I-" the apparition turned into a piece of cheese. Girl grabbed the cheese and ate it. It tasted good. Girl then went back to sleep.

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Girl was once again awakened by another unsolicited tap on the shoulder.

"..." said ....

"Who the hell are you?"

"..."

... proceeded to point outside the window. There was a giant piece of cheese out there. A piece of cheese so big, Girl could not eat it.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

"..." said ....

"..." said Girl.

And thus, they were stuck in an infinite loop of ellipses. fghasdk;jflsk;ddsfhkjasdfklasdjfls.

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Girl awakened from his armchair. ... was not there. No one was there. Except for his cat, Princess.

"Phew, that was some dream," Girl thought. He went outside, only to have several random trees and someone's bike turn into cheese. Did Girl grab this cheese and eat it? Of course. And it tasted good. He had learned nothing from the unsolicited utterings of strange spirits, one of who was not clearly Fnarf, and ... from the Spamtastic Four. Their visits were completely pointless and annoying. This story is completely pointless and annoying. It should explode on itself. It shouldn't exist. But it does, much to Girl's disappointment. So in short, bah humbug, this story sucks, and happy Avatar day... mmm... Avatar... *drool* best... movie... EVER... it does not deserve to be mentioned in this story... fadsnfkjsdhjiofkjdsv;sajfoiasjtioaejvoasjfpwoea jfaslkdtjqweoi fjaw;ofj asklf asd;klfmasdlkfjawoit uqw pio vjkfjasd;lkfja;sdfaasdft qesrag asdrgtawe twerseg