Poetry Corner

[dratinihaunter13]

Guess I'll break the dry spell here. Just found this poem on a FLOPPY DISK, buried in some rubble at my house. It's from years and years ago, but any rate...
--

Sonnet 13

Beseech me please, to ease my evil woes.
Provoke me so I know my low of knees –
It will fulfill your still distilling glows –
‘Til casket tasks I ask to bask in these.

Design a sign for mine own pining eyes.
Despise the lies surprising, prize so fine.
Let subtleties abruptly cut their cries,
And vocalize your love, be so benign.

And if this desperate wish is given true,
How soothing would my wooing prove if known.
To live with love exclusively from you,
Enough it is to move my timid tone.

Infatuation flies and fades a dove,
But I would winnow every whim for love.

[Gavin Luper]

Just found this poem on a FLOPPY DISK

WHOOOOOOOOA!!

Sonnet 13

Beseech me please, to ease my evil woes.
Provoke me so I know my low of knees –
It will fulfill your still distilling glows –
‘Til casket tasks I ask to bask in these.

Design a sign for mine own pining eyes.
Despise the lies surprising, prize so fine.
Let subtleties abruptly cut their cries,
And vocalize your love, be so benign.

And if this desperate wish is given true,
How soothing would my wooing prove if known.
To live with love exclusively from you,
Enough it is to move my timid tone.

Infatuation flies and fades a dove,
But I would winnow every whim for love.

The sheer force of the assonance and alliteration in this sonnet must have taken you hours upon hours; it's amazing. Well done. Reading it was quite an exercise for the old noggin. Perhaps to the point where I was focusing so much more on how dedicated and patient you must have been to get all those lines working so well and still make the words create a sonnet-y theme. Very well done my friend.

[dratinihaunter13]

thanks gavin! you're right I really really cared about sound back when I wrote that. even at the expense of making sense >_<. very kind of you to critique gracias