[GAME] Twisted Wishes v.9 (LV Approved)

[Fett One]

Granted, you become a good photographer but at the costs of your drawing skills. Now you can only draw stick figures.

I wish the new Han Solo movie has Jabba the Hutt and Lando Calrissen in it.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

One Week Rule.

Granted, but the movie consists of 20 52 x 52 pixel images repeated in a loop for two hours.

I wish I couldn't get fat.

[CaptainJigglypuff]

Granted. You are now circa Ally McBeal permanantly!

I wish I had a cute little yorkie puppy named Cuddles who could do cute little tricks!

[Fett One]

Granted but it's a robotic yorkie and as such is incapable of emotion and becoming attached to you.

I wish to own a real fully obedient charizard.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. The Charizard lets you fly on its back to a world where other real Pokemon are found, however, you have an encounter with me in that world, as I knock out your Charizard in a single hit using a Stone Edge from my real Aerodactyl, and subsequently cause your Charizard to disobey you after that defeat.

I wish I didn't have to type over 50 words to twist someone else's wish if it was trickier to twist than previously twisted wishes.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, instead, you'll have to shorten every message to two words and that's even harder.

I wish to become Dark Lord.

[Fett One]

Granted, you become the Dark Lord of Worms.

I wish to become President of the Earth.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You become the president of Earth, however, Marvin the Martian becomes enraged at seeing you as president and in his way of blowing up the Earth (because of Earth blocking his view of Venus, as usual), and as a result, he kidnaps you and using some sort of magical rope that is 100% indestructible, he ties you to a special moon he created that is 100 times the size of Earth, sending it and you on a one-way course for Earth's ultimate doom.

I wish I could meet someone who is able to play several different musical instruments, all at the same time (both Bugs Bunny and Woody Woodpecker did it).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you meet an eight-handed monster who eats you for lunch.

I wish to own a cooking robot.

[Fett One]

Granted but it only knows how to cook humans. Enjoy human tartare.

I wish cell phones could only use old fashion phone ringers for their ring tone.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

One week rule!

Granted, but that causes most people start disliking cell phones because they miss their favourite song they previously could download there, and as a result, Nokia, Samsung, Apple, Sony and other producers lose their sales. Nobody wants to use cell phones anymore. Well Fett One wants, but you don't have anybody to call to. On top of that, cell phones are replaced by horrible cancer-causing metal headbands that everyone has to use all their life and if they try to take those headbands off, their heads explode.

I wish Finnish tv shows were more clever.

[Quicksilver62160]

I wish Finnish tv shows were more clever.

Granted: The shows became so clever that they surpassed what the general populous could understand. Due to this all Finnish TV shows have been cancelled.


I wish we had hover cars/boards like in Back to the Future II.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but they end up requiring a kind of battery that ends up being a bit "out of this world", aka a battery that seems to be impossible to find here on Earth, oh well.

I wish there was a game show made that would be a crossover between Let's Make A Deal and Press Your Luck that would feature both Zonks (joke prizes) and Whammies (that when revealed, would steal an unlucky contestant's current stash of cash and prizes they have won, excluding Zonks though) as "best friends" and double trouble to contestants unlucky enough to come across either of them.

[Fett One]

Granted but the show is too confusing for the average person so it ends up being canceled after only 1 episode.

I wish for a Star Trek movie that involves Captain Picard dealing with Q.

[Quicksilver62160]

Granted, but the movie turns out to be Picard and Q working at a Black Jack table together.

I wish the rum wasn't gone.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you get squashed by a big barrel of rum.

I wish Fett One was the President of Russia.

[Fett One]

Granted, I make Russia the USA's #1 friend and alley.

I wish to be able to use emoticons in real life.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. They become your only way of communicating with other people around you, making it very difficult for people to understand you in real life as a result.

I wish Fett One would admit he meant to say ally instead of alley in his previous post (sorry to have to correct you man, but this is something I'm much more used to doing in real life unfortunately).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but the rest of the post is now full of typos.

I wish to become infallible.

[Fett One]

KOT, I didn't even notice the typo until you pointed it out.

Granted, you permanently enter a vegetative state and as such can no longer do anything. Since you can't do anything, you can't fail at anything, thus making you infallible.

I wish there was a cure for all known illnesses.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Dying a peaceful death becomes the only cure for every known kind of illness.

I wish Jeff Foxworthy would host a brand new season of Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader, with all of the new kids in his class having IQs of super geniuses (aka VERY high IQs) so that they would almost never get a question wrong when helping a contestant in his/her money climb to $1,000,000.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but Jeff decides to raise the difficulty level of the competition so the questions become totally incomprehensible for average audience.

I wish for something to eat.

[Fett One]

Granted, you are given a bucket of pink slime.

I wish beer didn't cause people to get drunk.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Instead, drinking beer causes people to hallucinate, making them see things that aren't really there.

I wish there was a new Garfield comic strip made where Garfield ends up visiting a coffee factory and gets to taste various flavours of coffee, having a different hilarious reaction with each flavour of the hot stuff.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Jim Davis gets a big inspiration and makes a brand new comic strip but it takes one panel for each coffee flavour and there are 100 different flavours. This wouldn't be such a big problem but the space for a Garfield strip is so small that each panel is too small to see.

I wish there was no such a thing as daylight saving time in any country.

[Fett One]

Granted but the U.S. government gets annoyed and has your assassinated for making the wish.

I wish all analogue clocks/watches are replaced with digital clocks/watches.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but the Great Britain asks the EU for the money to fund replacing the clock in Big Ben and when the EU refuses, the Great Britain will actually resign from the EU. Germany and France try to keep together what's left of the EU but that leads to World War III.

I wish I didn't have to twist that wish in such an awkward manner. Stupid politics.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. As a result, you begin to untwist wishes rather than twist them, making people wonder what would constitute untwisting a wish that hadn't even been twisted in the first place.

I wish stereotypes about people would become non-existent.

[Fett One]

Granted. All people now cease to exist and as a result stereotypes can't exist.

I wish the ozone layer was instantly repaired.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but they accidentally make it too thick and sunlight is blocked completely.

I wish to have everything.

[CaptainJigglypuff]

Granted. Instead, drinking beer causes people to hallucinate, making them see things that aren't really there.

But it ALREADY does that!

As for Mikachu's wish....

Granted. Everything literally including the Sun, Moon, and the international space station, falls out of the sky and lands on top of you and thus killing you upon impact.

I wish I could get rid of Natalie Portman and her possible anti-Christ son once and for all!

[Fett One]

Granted but someone 10 times more annoying ends up moving into your basement and refuses to leave.

I wish the show Arrow would allow Green Arrow to interact with other superheroes.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted; they interact by swearing and dissing each other with stupid insults.

I wish to become super famous.

[CaptainJigglypuff]

Granted. You become known for going insane and jailed for trying to destroy Copenhagen with a tidal wave ridden by dancing flapper girls on surfboards with record players playing the Charleston song!

I wish I had anew computer!

[Fett One]

Granted, you receive a stolen computer and are arrested almost immediately and get sentenced to 50 years in prison.

I wish all problems could be solved peacefully.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Now calling the ambulance takes 1,000,000 years.

I wish my friend took his earphones off.

[Fett One]

Granted, but doing so causes his ears to fall off.

I wish the next Star Wars Trilogy is as good as the original trilogy.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, they release the exact same movies again.

I wish people were more happy.

[Fett One]

Granted but people become so happy that it drives everyone crazy because they can't experience anything else.

I wish vacations would last longer.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. But as a result, the cost of various fares (e.g. car ferry, airplane, etc) goes up a great deal, making vacations more difficult to save money for.

I wish all of my future dentist visits would go well enough without the need for any new fillings.