[GAME] Twisted Wishes v.9 (LV Approved)

[CaptainJigglypuff]

Granted. You turn into one of the "fakers" as well and die a very painful and horrible death from fingernail cancer. It is far more dangerous you could ever imagine!

I wish the Happy Tree Friends would post their new Christmas episode!

[CaptainJigglypuff]

Granted. But Bond kills the villian and in a time-space parodox kills himself as well.

I wish I had some Ben and Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream!

[Knight of Time]

CJ, remember you have to observe the wait two posts rule in this game.

Granted. A truckful of Ben and Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream is dumped on you, leaving you out cold literally.

I wish I had a reliable recipe for creating tasty flavours of gourmet jelly beans that would be similar to Jelly Belly.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but the recipe is written in a language spoken in a planet called Jelly Belly on the other side of our galaxy only. Good luck trying to get there in search for a translator!

I wish I could go through black holes without being injured in the process.

[CaptainJigglypuff]

Granted. You get PETER Griffin and he destroys your house with his idiotic behavior! you now have to pay $1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 of repairs to fix the damages....



I wish for Honey Boo Boo to be taken away by child services workers.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but they replace it with an even more harmful program which involves tasteless violent child porn, tasteless porn violence and more tasteless violence.

I wish to become a good photographer.

[CaptainJigglypuff]

Granted. You are now circa Ally McBeal permanantly!

I wish I had a cute little yorkie puppy named Cuddles who could do cute little tricks!

[Knight of Time]

Granted. The Charizard lets you fly on its back to a world where other real Pokemon are found, however, you have an encounter with me in that world, as I knock out your Charizard in a single hit using a Stone Edge from my real Aerodactyl, and subsequently cause your Charizard to disobey you after that defeat.

I wish I didn't have to type over 50 words to twist someone else's wish if it was trickier to twist than previously twisted wishes.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, instead, you'll have to shorten every message to two words and that's even harder.

I wish to become Dark Lord.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You become the president of Earth, however, Marvin the Martian becomes enraged at seeing you as president and in his way of blowing up the Earth (because of Earth blocking his view of Venus, as usual), and as a result, he kidnaps you and using some sort of magical rope that is 100% indestructible, he ties you to a special moon he created that is 100 times the size of Earth, sending it and you on a one-way course for Earth's ultimate doom.

I wish I could meet someone who is able to play several different musical instruments, all at the same time (both Bugs Bunny and Woody Woodpecker did it).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you meet an eight-handed monster who eats you for lunch.

I wish to own a cooking robot.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but they end up requiring a kind of battery that ends up being a bit "out of this world", aka a battery that seems to be impossible to find here on Earth, oh well.

I wish there was a game show made that would be a crossover between Let's Make A Deal and Press Your Luck that would feature both Zonks (joke prizes) and Whammies (that when revealed, would steal an unlucky contestant's current stash of cash and prizes they have won, excluding Zonks though) as "best friends" and double trouble to contestants unlucky enough to come across either of them.

[Quicksilver62160]

Granted, but the movie turns out to be Picard and Q working at a Black Jack table together.

I wish the rum wasn't gone.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you get squashed by a big barrel of rum.

I wish Fett One was the President of Russia.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. They become your only way of communicating with other people around you, making it very difficult for people to understand you in real life as a result.

I wish Fett One would admit he meant to say ally instead of alley in his previous post (sorry to have to correct you man, but this is something I'm much more used to doing in real life unfortunately).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but the rest of the post is now full of typos.

I wish to become infallible.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Dying a peaceful death becomes the only cure for every known kind of illness.

I wish Jeff Foxworthy would host a brand new season of Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader, with all of the new kids in his class having IQs of super geniuses (aka VERY high IQs) so that they would almost never get a question wrong when helping a contestant in his/her money climb to $1,000,000.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but Jeff decides to raise the difficulty level of the competition so the questions become totally incomprehensible for average audience.

I wish for something to eat.

[Fett One]

Granted, you are given a bucket of pink slime.

I wish beer didn't cause people to get drunk.

[Fett One]

Granted but the U.S. government gets annoyed and has your assassinated for making the wish.

I wish all analogue clocks/watches are replaced with digital clocks/watches.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but the Great Britain asks the EU for the money to fund replacing the clock in Big Ben and when the EU refuses, the Great Britain will actually resign from the EU. Germany and France try to keep together what's left of the EU but that leads to World War III.

I wish I didn't have to twist that wish in such an awkward manner. Stupid politics.

[Fett One]

Granted. All people now cease to exist and as a result stereotypes can't exist.

I wish the ozone layer was instantly repaired.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but they accidentally make it too thick and sunlight is blocked completely.

I wish to have everything.

[Fett One]

Granted but someone 10 times more annoying ends up moving into your basement and refuses to leave.

I wish the show Arrow would allow Green Arrow to interact with other superheroes.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted; they interact by swearing and dissing each other with stupid insults.

I wish to become super famous.

[Fett One]

Granted, you receive a stolen computer and are arrested almost immediately and get sentenced to 50 years in prison.

I wish all problems could be solved peacefully.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Now calling the ambulance takes 1,000,000 years.

I wish my friend took his earphones off.

[Fett One]

Granted, but doing so causes his ears to fall off.

I wish the next Star Wars Trilogy is as good as the original trilogy.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, they release the exact same movies again.

I wish people were more happy.

[Fett One]

Granted but people become so happy that it drives everyone crazy because they can't experience anything else.

I wish vacations would last longer.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Instead, drinking beer causes people to hallucinate, making them see things that aren't really there.

I wish there was a new Garfield comic strip made where Garfield ends up visiting a coffee factory and gets to taste various flavours of coffee, having a different hilarious reaction with each flavour of the hot stuff.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Jim Davis gets a big inspiration and makes a brand new comic strip but it takes one panel for each coffee flavour and there are 100 different flavours. This wouldn't be such a big problem but the space for a Garfield strip is so small that each panel is too small to see.

I wish there was no such a thing as daylight saving time in any country.

[CaptainJigglypuff]

Granted. Instead, drinking beer causes people to hallucinate, making them see things that aren't really there.

But it ALREADY does that!

As for Mikachu's wish....

Granted. Everything literally including the Sun, Moon, and the international space station, falls out of the sky and lands on top of you and thus killing you upon impact.

I wish I could get rid of Natalie Portman and her possible anti-Christ son once and for all!

[Knight of Time]

Granted. As a result, you begin to untwist wishes rather than twist them, making people wonder what would constitute untwisting a wish that hadn't even been twisted in the first place.

I wish stereotypes about people would become non-existent.

[CaptainJigglypuff]

Granted. You become known for going insane and jailed for trying to destroy Copenhagen with a tidal wave ridden by dancing flapper girls on surfboards with record players playing the Charleston song!

I wish I had anew computer!

[Knight of Time]

Granted. But as a result, the cost of various fares (e.g. car ferry, airplane, etc) goes up a great deal, making vacations more difficult to save money for.

I wish all of my future dentist visits would go well enough without the need for any new fillings.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you will be sent 80 years backwards in time and you visit your dentists in the past, not future. Finally, as you are back in our time as more than one hundred years old man your mouth will be replaced by a bird beak.

I wish I learned to use the new TPM layout perfectly.

[Fett One]

Granted but it takes you one hundred years and about 50 site updates for you to learn how to use the boards perfectly.

I wish the next James Bond movie uses a previous Bond (Sean Connery, Roger Moore, etal) as the bad guy.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but you'll have to play James Bond in the movie and get an empty box as your only salary.

I wish to become an actor.

[Fett One]

Granted, you become an acting teacher at a school with only 1 student

I wish for a Pokemon RPG to come out for the Wii U.