Poll: Best insult you ever heard

[Last Exile]

A guy I knew started saying this earlier this eyar, and it still cracks me up. It is:

This is gayer than George Michael meets Michael Jackson!

Another one I heard on radio recently is a classic:

Keefy the Weatherman - Now, Jarvy, there's no need to be disrespectful!
Javy Harvison - Course there is! That's why we're here!
Keefy - Yes, I forgot!

And there's that one I heard last week:

Well I gotta put it to ya kid, you're a real horse's a$$!

Got any personal faves?

[Syberia]

Person 1: You're a _____.
Person 2: Your mom's a _____.

I hope you can tell this post is sarcasm. If there was a thread for dumbest insult I've ever heard, though, that would be it.

[phaedrus]

Your mom is.

or,

You ASSHAT!

[Toxicity]

The most common? "Yur mom."

My personal favorite I use "Shhh ya shhhh....."

[The Decapitated Mole]

The only insult I ever use is the same, and it's not really an insult. Whenever anybody says something, I just call them it.

Joe: This sucks.
Jimm: You suck.

Also, calling someone a clownshoe or making fun of their crippled mother seems very effective [my nemesis uses this on me a lot].

o_0
jimm

[Jay Umbreon]

"I fart in your general direction"

- Monty Python, Holy Grail.

Simple. effective, and if used right, true

~Jay

[HavoX]

The best insults I ever hear come straight from the Quake3World forums (which is also full of massive 0wn@ge).

*Due to the mature content of the insults I've heard at Q3W however, I won't give you any examples. Sorry!*

[mr_pikachu]

I had to love Ozzy pulling up that "Grammarian" quote that one time, even though the insult was directed at me. It wasn't funny because it was witty, it was hilarious because it was just so dang obvious! I'm sure everyone at Fanfic agrees with me. Or at least everyone who remembers those days.

[The Muffin Man]

Whenever someone says something, I say I'll *whatever* them. I.e:

"You're not making any sense"
"I'll make sense of you!"
"...That's stupid. I'm going to get a coke"
"I'll get you a coke!!"
"...Ok, the cold ones are on the bottom"
"I'll cold you one!"

Until it gets so random and weird it barely sounds human.

[Leon-IH]

umm, lets see

P1: "**** You"
P2: "**** You"
ME: "I assume your speaking to each other"

Best moment of my school life.

[darktyranitar]

Whenever someone says something, I say I'll *whatever* them. I.e:

"You're not making any sense"
"I'll make sense of you!"
"...That's stupid. I'm going to get a coke"
"I'll get you a coke!!"
"...Ok, the cold ones are on the bottom"
"I'll cold you one!"

Until it gets so random and weird it barely sounds human.

It also happened in my class. Something like:

"What's this?"
"It's a water"
"What's 'it's a water'?"
"It's a water!"
"What's 'it's a water'?"
"(Sigh)"
"What's a '(Sigh)' "

And it goes on. I had fun hearing it.

[Leon-IH]

It also happened in my class. Something like:

"What's this?"
"It's a water"
"What's 'it's a water'?"
"It's a water!"
"What's 'it's a water'?"
"(Sigh)"
"What's a '(Sigh)' "

And it goes on. I had fun hearing it.

the reply to that one is
"IT'S A PUNCH IN THE FACE"
"whats a punch in the face?"
"THIS" *punches*

[The Muffin Man]

the reply to that one is
"IT'S A PUNCH IN THE FACE"
"whats a punch in the face?"
"THIS" *punches*

I'll this you!!*shakes fist*

[Tainted]

I don't really think insults get the job done as opposed to kicking the **** out of people, because being a cunning linguist only gets you so far-- until you get the **** beat out of you. One time I do recall, we had a substitute teacher in grade seven... two years ago.

Teacher: Yeah, and these new pants are 'all the rage.'
Hunter: That was pretty lame.
Teacher: Well, that was a pretty lame comeback, yourself.
Hunter: If you want a real comeback you can wipe it off your mother's face.

I'm not really into 'your mother' jokes, because, well, if anyone wants to sleep with a fourty year old woman with three kids-- go right ahead, I'm not going to stop you.

Adieu,
Zak Hunter

[Agent Elrond]

My favorite:

"BAKATARI!!!"

Shout it really loud, like an enraged anime character. It's great for relieving stress, and the insultee has no clue what you are on about. Don't try it in Japan though. o_O

Oh, and how could I forget:

"Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now go away or I shall taunt a second time!"

---The God's of Comedy. A.K.A. Monty Python.

[Mystic_clown]

Here's something that will really annoy someone.

P1: If Pete and Repeat were in a boat and Pete dived into the water, who would be left in the boat.

P2: Repeat

P1: If Pete and Repeat were in a boat and Pete dived into the water, who would be left in the boat.

And so on a so forth.