Wow, you've really zoomed ahead with this! Good work.

I can see what you mean about the writing style improving over time - the latest chapters have a much more sophisticated style and yet it's very clean and undercomplicated, which works well for a fic like this. I must admit that there are still occasional issues - your tenses seem off sometimes and the narrative itself can be a bit clunky. But what redeems these problems is a certain observational element that I mentioned earlier: you seem to notice very common quirks in everyday life and insert them into your writing, which is refreshing. The dialogue, too, even if it can be clunky from time to time, has that same realism running beneath it. So despite the occasional grammatic problems on the surface, I think you definitely have some promise as a writer and I'd encourage you to keep honing your skills and challenging yourself.

I don't think I have a chance in hell of keeping pace with this fic properly - I'm now working two jobs, trying to complete my Honours thesis, and attempting to somehow find time to focus on my own writing as well - but I urge you to keep writing and will be watching from afar, commenting when I can!

Cheers, Kyuuketsuki!